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he chanced unfortunately to say, "My lord, I can illustrate the point in an instant in my own person: I myself have two little manors." The judge immediately interposed, with one of his blandest smiles, "We all know it, Sir Fletcher."

      CLXXXIX.—NAT LEE AND SIR ROGER L'ESTRANGE.

      The author of "Alexander the Great," whilst confined in a madhouse, was visited by Sir Roger L'Estrange, of whose political abilities Lee entertained no very high opinion. Upon the knight inquiring whether the poet knew him, Lee answered:—

      "Custom may alter men, and manners change:

       But I am still strange Lee, and you L'Estrange: I'm poor in purse as you are poor in brains."

      CXC.—MAIDS AND WIVES.

      Women are all alike. When they're maids they're mild as milk: once make 'em wives, and they lean their backs against their marriage certificates, and defy you.—D.J.

      CXCI.—TRAGEDY MS.

      Liston, seeing a parcel lying on the table in the entrance-hall of Drury Lane Theatre, one side of which, from its having travelled to town by the side of some game, was smeared with blood, observed, "That parcel contains a manuscript tragedy." And on being asked why, replied, "Because the fifth act is peeping out at one corner of it."

      CXCII.—A TRUE COURTIER.

      One day, when Sir Isaac Heard was in company with George III., it was announced that his majesty's horse was ready for hunting. "Sir Isaac," said the king, "are you a judge of horses?"—"In my younger days, please your majesty, I was a great deal among them," was the reply. "What do you think of this, then?" said the king, who was by this time preparing to mount his favorite: and, without waiting for an answer, added, "we call him. Perfection."—"A most appropriate name," replied the courtly herald, bowing as his majesty reached the saddle, "for he bears the best of characters."

      CXCIII.—RARE VIRTUE.

      The paucity of some persons' good actions reminds one of Jonathan Wild, who was once induced to be guilty of a good action, after fully satisfying himself, upon the maturest deliberation, that he could gain nothing by refraining from it.

      CXCIV.—A POSER.

      A coxcomb in a coffee-house boasted that he had written a certain popular song, just as the true author entered the room. A friend of his pointed to the coxcomb: "See, sir, the real author of your favorite song."—"Well," replied the other, "the gentleman might have made it, for I assure him I found no difficulty in doing it myself."

      CXCV.—A SHEEPISH COMPLIMENT.

      Lord Cockburn, the proprietor of Bonaly, was sitting on the hillside with a shepherd, and, observing the sheep reposing in the coldest situation, he remarked to him, "John, if I were a sheep, I would lie on the other side of the hill." The shepherd answered, "Ah, my lord, but if ye had been a sheep ye would hae had mair sense."

      CXCVI.—CONSIDERABLE LATITUDE.

      Sir Richard Jebb being called to see a patient who fancied himself very ill, told him ingenuously what he thought, and declined prescribing for him. "Now you are here," said the patient, "I shall be obliged to you, Sir Richard, if you will tell me how I must live; what I may eat, and what I may not."—"My directions as to that point," replied Sir Richard, "will be few and simple! You must not eat the poker, shovel, or tongs, for they are hard of digestion; nor the bellows, because they are windy; but eat anything else you please!"

      CXCVII.—FARMER AND ATTORNEY.

      An opulent farmer applied to an attorney about a lawsuit, but was told he could not undertake it, being already engaged on the other side; at the same time he gave him a letter of recommendation to a professional friend. The farmer, out of curiosity, opened it, and read as follows:—

      "Here are two fat wethers fallen out together,

       If you'll fleece one, I'll fleece the other,

       And make 'em agree like brother and brother."

      The perusal of this epistle cured both parties, and terminated the dispute.

      CXCVIII.—A WIFE AT FORTY.

      "My notion of a wife at forty," said Jerrold, "is, that a man should be able to change her, like a bank-note, for two twenties."

      CXCIX.—DISAPPROBATION.

      An actor played a season at Richmond theatre for the privilege only of having a benefit. When his night came, and having to sustain a principal part in the piece, the whole of his audience (thirty in number), hissed him whenever he appeared. When the piece ended, he came forward and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I return you my sincere thanks for your kindness, but when you mean to hiss me again on my benefit night, I hope you will be at least six times as many as are here to-night."

      CC.—NOVEL OFFENCE.

      Cooke and Dibdin went, at a tolerably steady quick-step, as far as the middle of Greek Street, when Cooke, who had passed his hand along all the palisades and shutters as he marched, came in contact with the recently-painted new front of a coachmaker's shop, from which he obtained a complete handful of wet color. Without any explanation as to the cause of his anger, he rushed suddenly into the middle of the street, and raised a stone to hurl against the unoffending windows; but Dibdin was in time to save them from destruction, and him from the watch-house. On being asked the cause of his hostility to the premises of a man who could not have offended him, he replied, with a hiccup, "what! not offend? A—— ignorant coachmaker, to leave his house out, new-painted, at this time of night!"

      CCI.—MEASURING HIS DISTANCE.

      A browbeating counsel asked a witness how far he had been from a certain place. "Just four yards, two feet, and six inches," was the reply. "How came you to be so exact, my friend?"—"Because I expected some fool or other would ask me, and so I measured it."

      CCII.—VERY CLEAR.

      "What is light?" asked a schoolmaster of the booby of a class. "A sovereign that isn't full weight is light," was the prompt reply.

      CCIII.—BROTHERLY LOVE.

      "Ah!" said a conceited young parson, "I have this afternoon been preaching to a congregation of asses."—"Then that was the reason why you always called them beloved brethren," replied a strong-minded lady.

      CCIV.—EPIGRAM.

      By a friend of Sir Turncoat 'twas lately averr'd,

       The electors would find him as good as his word!

       "As good as his word," did you say, "gracious me! What a terrible scamp little Turncoat must be!"

      CCV.—MODEST.

      It has been said that a lady once asked Lord B—g—m who was the best debater in the House of Lords. His lordship modestly replied, "Lord Stanley is the second, madam."

      CCVI.—A JOINT CONCERN.

      A stupid fellow employed in blowing a cathedral organ, said after the performance of a fine anthem, "I think we performed very well to-day."—"We performed!" answered the organist; "I think it was I performed, or I am much mistaken." Shortly after another celebrated piece of music was to

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