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almost a temptation to commit suicide."

      CCXLVI.—THE BISHOP AND HIS PORTMANTEAU.

      The other day, a certain bishop lost his portmanteau. The circumstance has given rise to the following:—

      I have lost my portmanteau—

       "I pity your grief;"

       It contained all my sermons—

       "I pity the thief."

      CCXLVII.—FORCE OF NATURE.

      S——'s head appears to be placed in most accurate conformity with the law of nature, in obedience to which that which is most empty is generally uppermost.

      CCXLVIII.—BLOWING A NOSE.

      Sir William Chere had a very long nose, and was playing at backgammon with old General Brown. During this time, Sir William, who was a snuff-taker, was continually using his snuff-box. Observing him leaning continually over the table, and being at the same time in a very bad humor with the game, the general said, "Sir William, blow your nose!"—"Blow it yourself!" said Sir William; "'tis as near you as me!"

      CCXLIX.—TOO CIVIL.

      Macklin one night sitting at the back of the front boxes, with a gentleman of his acquaintance, an underbred lounger stood up immediately before him, and covered the sight of the stage entirely from him. Macklin patted him gently on the shoulder with his cane, and, with much seeming civility, requested "that when he saw or heard anything that was entertaining on the stage, to let him and the gentleman with him know of it, as at present we must totally depend on your kindness." This had the desired effect—and the lounger walked off.

      CCL.—TORY LIBERALITY.

      A certain anti-illuminating marquis, since the memorable night of the passing of the Reform Bill, has constantly kept open house, at least, so we are informed by a person who lately looked in at his windows.

      CCLI.—A CAPITAL JOKE.

      Lord Braxfield (a Scotch judge) once said to an eloquent culprit at the bar, "You're a vera clever chiel, mon, but I'm thinking ye wad be nane the waur o' a hanging."

      CCLII.—PIG-HEADED.

      Mr. Justice P——, a well-meaning but particularly prosing judge, on one of his country circuits had to try a man for stealing a quantity of copper. In his charge he had frequent occasion to mention the "copper," which he uniformly called "lead," adding, "I beg your pardon, gentlemen—copper; but I can't get the lead out of my head!" At this candid confession the whole court shouted with laughter.

      CCLIII.—BURIED WORTH.

      Sir Thomas Overbury says, that the man who has not anything to boast of but his illustrious ancestors, is like a potato—the only good belonging to him is underground.

      CCLIV.—A JUST DEBTOR.

      On one occasion Lord Alvanley had promised a person 100l. as a bribe, to conceal something which would have involved the reputation of a lady. On that person's application for the money, his lordship wrote a check for 25l. and presented it to him. "But, my lord, you promised me 100l."—"True," said his lordship, "I did so; but you know, Mr. ——, that I am now making arrangements with all my creditors at 5s. in the pound. Now you must see, Mr. ——, that if I were to pay you at a higher rate than I pay them, I should be doing my creditors an injustice!"

      CCLV.—A SOUND CONCLUSION.

      Sir William Curtis sat near a gentleman at a civic dinner, who alluded to the excellence of the knives, adding, that "articles manufactured from cast steel were of a very superior quality, such as razors, forks, &c."—"Ay," replied the facetious baronet, "and soap too—there's no soap like Castile soap."

      CCLVI.—CUTTING HIS COAT.

      When Brummell was the great oracle on coats, the Duke of Leinster was very anxious to bespeak the approbation of the "Emperor of the Dandies" for a "cut" which he had just patronized. The Duke, in the course of his eulogy on his Schneider, had frequent occasion to use the words "my coat."—"Your coat, my dear fellow," said Brummell: "what coat?"—"Why, this coat," said Leinster; "this coat that I have on." Brummell, after regarding the vestment with an air of infinite scorn, walked up to the Duke, and taking the collar between his finger and thumb, as if fearful of contamination—"What, Duke, do you call that thing a coat?"

      CCLVII.—NON SEQUITUR.

      One of Sir Boyle Roche's children asked him one day, "Who was the father of George III.?"—"My darling," he answered, "it was Frederick, Prince of Wales, who would have been George III. if he had lived."

      CCLVIII.—ANY PORT IN A STORM.

      A very worthy, though not particularly erudite, under-writer at Lloyd's was conversing one day with a friend on the subject of a ship they had mutually insured. His friend observed, "Do you know that I suspect our ship is in jeopardy?"—"Well, I am glad that she has got into some port at last," replied the other.

      CCLIX.—INGRATITUDE.

      When Brennan, the noted highwayman, was taken in the south of Ireland, a banker, whose notes at that time were not held in the highest estimation, assured the prisoner that he was very glad to see him there at last. Brennan, looking up, replied, "Ah! sir! I did not expect that from you: for you know that, when all the country refused your notes, I took them."

      CCLX.—NOT SO BAD FOR A KING.

      George IV., on hearing some one declare that Moore had murdered Sheridan, in his late life of that statesman, observed, "I won't say that Mr. Moore has murdered Sheridan, but he has certainly attempted his life."

      CCLXI.—A BAD CROP.

      After a long drought, there fell a torrent of rain; and a country gentleman observed to Sir John Hamilton, "This is a most delightful rain; I hope it will bring up everything out of the ground."—"By Jove, sir," said Sir John, "I hope not; for I have sowed three wives in it, and I should be very sorry to see them come up again."

      CCLXII.—"NONE SO BLIND," ETC.

      Daniel Purcell, who was a non-juror, was telling a friend, when King George the First landed at Greenwich, that he had a full view of him: "Then," said his friend, "you know him by sight."—"Yes," replied Daniel, "I think I know him, but I can't swear to him."

      CCLXIII.—DUPLEX MOVEMENT.

      A worthy alderman, captain of a volunteer corps, was ordering his company to fall back, in order to dress with the line, and gave the word, "Advance three paces back-wards! march!"

      CCLXIV.—COULEUR DE ROSE.

      An officer in full regimentals, apprehensive lest he should come in contact with a chimney-sweep that was pressing towards him, exclaimed, "Keep off, you black rascal."—"You were as black as me before you were boiled," cried sooty.

      CCLXV.—A FEELING WITNESS.

      A lawyer, upon a circuit in Ireland, who was pleading the cause of an infant plaintiff, took the child up in his arms, and presented

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