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He may be called the equinoctial line.

      CCLXXXVI.—THE WORST OF ALL CRIMES.

      An old offender being asked whether he had committed all the crimes laid to his charge, answered, "I have done still worse! I suffered myself to be apprehended."

      CCLXXXVII.—A PHENOMENON ACCOUNTED FOR.

      Dr. Byron, of Manchester, eminent for his promptitude at an epigram, being once asked how it could happen that a lady rather stricken in years looked so much better in an evening than a morning, thus replied:—

      "Ancient Phyllis has young graces,

       'Tis a strange thing, but a true one.

       Shall I tell you how?

       She herself makes her own faces,

       And each morning wears a new one!

       Where's the wonder now?"

      CCLXXXVIII.—BRIGHT AND SHARP.

      A little boy having been much praised for his quickness of reply, a gentleman present observed, that when children were keen in their youth, they were generally stupid and dull when they were advanced in years, and vice versâ. "What a very sensible boy, sir, must you have been!" returned the child.

      CCLXXXIX.—A WOODMAN.

      A young man, boasting of his health and constitutional stamina, was asked to what he chiefly attributed so great a happiness. "To laying in a good foundation, to be sure. I make a point, sir, to eat a great deal every morning."—"Then I presume, sir, you usually breakfast in a timber-yard," was the rejoinder.

      CCXC.—HUMAN HAPPINESS.

      A captain in the navy, meeting a friend as he landed at Portsmouth, boasted that he had left his whole ship's company the happiest fellows in the world. "How so?" asked his friend. "Why, I have just flogged seventeen, and they are happy it is over; and all the rest are happy that they have escaped."

      CCXCI.—MEASURE FOR MEASURE.

      A fellow stole Lord Chatham's large gouty shoes: his servant, not finding them, began to curse the thief. "Never mind," said his lordship, "all the harm I wish the rogue is, that the shoes may fit him!"

      CCXCII.—A DESERVED RETORT.

      A spendthrift, who had nearly wasted all his patrimony, seeing an acquaintance in a coat not of the newest cut, told him that he thought it had been his great-grandfather's coat. "So it was," said the gentleman, "and I have also my great-grandfather's lands, which is more than you can say."

      CCXCIII.—A POETICAL SHAPE.

      When Mr. Pope once dined at Lord Chesterfield's, some one observed that he should have known Pope was a great poet by his very shape; for it was in and out, like the lines of a Pindaric ode.

      CCXCIV.—A COMMON CASE.

      A sailor meeting an old acquaintance, whom the world had frowned upon a little, asked him where he lived? "Where I live," said he, "I don't know; but I starve towards Wapping, and that way."

      CCXCV.—EPIGRAM.

      You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come:

       Knock as you will, there's nobody at home.

      CCXCVI.—TOO COLD TO CHANGE.

      A lady reproving a gentleman during a hard frost for swearing, advised him to leave it off, saying it was a very bad habit. "Very true, madam," answered he, "but at present it is too cold to think of parting with any habit, be it ever so bad."

      CCXCVII.—SEALING AN OATH.

      "Do you," said Fanny, t' other day,

       "In earnest love me as you say;

       Or are those tender words applied

       Alike to fifty girls beside?"

       "Dear, cruel girl," cried I, "forbear,

       For by those eyes—those lips I swear!" She stopped me as the oath I took, And cried, "You've sworn—now kiss the book."

      CCXCVIII.—A NEAT QUOTATION.

      Lord Norbury asking the reason of the delay that happened in a cause, was told that Mr. Serjeant Joy, who was to lead, was absent, but Mr. Hope, the solicitor, had said that he would return immediately. His lordship humorously repeated the well-known lines:—

      "Hope told a flattering tale, That Joy would soon return."

      CCXCIX.—GOOD SPORT.

      A gentleman on circuit narrating to Lord Norbury some extravagant feat in sporting, mentioned that he had lately shot thirty-three hares before breakfast. "Thirty-three hairs!" exclaimed Lord Norbury: "zounds, sir! then you must have been firing at a wig."

      CCC.—AN UNRE-HEARSED EFFECT.

      A noble lord, not over courageous, was once so far engaged in an affair of honor, as to be drawn to Hyde Park to fight a duel. But just as he arrived at the Porter's Lodge, an empty hearse came by; on which his lordship's antagonist called out to the driver, "Stop here, my good fellow, a few minutes, and I'll send you a fare." This operated so strongly on his lordship's nerves, that he begged his opponent's pardon, and returned home in a whole skin.

      CCCI.—A GOOD SERVANT.

      "I can't conceive," said one nobleman to another, "how it is that you manage. Though your estate is less than mine, I could not afford to live at the rate you do."—"My lord," said the other, "I have a place."—"A place? you amaze me, I never heard of it till now—pray what place?"—"I am my own steward."

      CCCII.—BALANCING ACCOUNTS.

      Theophilus Cibber, who was very extravagant, one day asked his father for a hundred pounds. "Zounds, sir," said Colly, "can't you live upon your salary? When I was your age, I never spent a farthing of my father's money."—"But you have spent a great deal of my father's," replied Theophilus. This retort had the desired effect.

      CCCIII.—A NOVELTY.

      A person was boasting that he had never spoken the truth. "Then," added another, "you have now done it for the first time."

      CCCIV.—SCOTCH UNDERSTANDING.

      A lady asked a very silly Scotch nobleman, how it happened that the Scots who came out of their own country were, generally speaking, men of more abilities than those who remained at home. "O madam," said he, "the reason is obvious. At every outlet there are persons stationed to examine all who pass, that, for the honor of the country, no one be permitted to leave it who is not a man of understanding."—"Then," said she, "I suppose your lordship was smuggled."

      CCCV.—BRUTAL AFFECTIONS.

      The attachment of some ladies to their lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to infatuation. An ill-tempered lap-dog biting a piece out of a male visitor's leg, his mistress thus expressed her compassion: "Poor little dear creature! I hope it will not make him sick!"

      CCCVI.—AN

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