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am master of the children of the parish," said the man; "the children are masters of their mothers, the mothers are rulers of the fathers, and consequently I am master of the whole parish."

      CCCLXIV.—SHORT STORIES.

      Sir Walter Scott once stated that he kept a lowland laird waiting for him in the library at Abbotsford, and that when he came in he found the laird deep in a book which Sir Walter perceived to be Johnson's Dictionary. "Well, Mr. ——," said Sir Walter, "how do you like your book?"—"They're vera pretty stories, Sir Walter," replied the laird; "but they're unco' short."

      CCCLXV.—ON A LADY WHO SQUINTED.

      If ancient poets Argus prize,

       Who boasted of a hundred eyes,

       Sure greater praise to her is due,

       Who looks a hundred ways with two.

      CCCLXVI.—AN ORIGINAL ATTRACTION.

      Foote one evening announced, for representation at the Haymarket Theatre, "The Fair Penitent," to be performed, for that night only, by a black lady of great accomplishments.

      CCCLXVII.—DEMOCRATIC VISION.

      Horne Tooke, being asked by George III. whether he played at cards, replied, "I cannot, your Majesty, tell a king from a knave."

      CCCLXVIII.—FISHY, RATHER.

      Lord Ellenborough, on his return from Hone's trial, suddenly stopped his carriage at Charing Cross, and said, "It occurs to me that they sell the best herrings in London at that shop. Buy six."

      CCCLXIX.—LIGHT BREAD.

      A baker has invented a new kind of yeast. It makes bread so light that a pound of it weighs only twelve ounces.

      CCCLXX.—SOMETHING LIKE AN INSULT.

      The late Judge C—— one day had occasion to examine a witness who stuttered very much in delivering his testimony. "I believe," said his lordship, "you are a very great rogue."—"Not so great a rogue as you my lord—t-t-t-take me to be."

CCCLXXI.—ON CHARLES KEAN, THE ACTOR.

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