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effect, until the opposite lawyer asked the child, "What made him cry?"—"He pinched me!" answered the little innocent. The whole court was convulsed with laughter.

      CCLXVI.—EXTREMES MEET.

      An Irish gardener seeing a boy stealing some fruit, swore, if he caught him there again, he'd lock him up in the ice-house and warm his jacket.

      CCLXVII.—DR. WEATHER-EYE.

      An Irish gentleman was relating in company that he saw a terrible wind the other night. "Saw a wind!" said another, "I never heard of a wind being seen. But, pray, what was it like!"—"Like to have blown my house about my ears," replied the first.

      CCLXVIII.—HESITATION IN HIS WRITING.

      An old woman received a letter, and, supposing it to be from one of her absent sons, she called on a person near to read it to her. He accordingly began and read, "Charleston, June 23, 1859. Dear mother," then making a stop to find out what followed (as the writing was rather bad), the old lady exclaimed, "Oh, 'tis my poor Jerry; he always stuttered!"

      CCLXIX.—A GUIDE TO GOVERNMENT SITUATIONS.

      Dr. Henniker, being engaged in private conversation with the great Earl of Chatham, his lordship asked him how he defined wit. "My lord," said the doctor, "wit is like what a pension would be, given by your lordship to your humble servant, a good thing well applied."

      CCLXX.—NATURAL TRANSMUTATION.

      The house of Mr. Dundas, late President of the Court of Session in Scotland, having after his death been converted into a blacksmith's shop, a gentleman wrote upon its door the following impromptu:—

      "The house a lawyer once enjoy'd,

       Now to a smith doth pass;

       How naturally the iron age Succeeds the age of brass!"

      CCLXXI.—CRITICS.

      Lord Bacon, speaking of commentators, critics, &c., said, "With all their pretensions, they were only brushers of noblemen's clothes."

      CCLXXII.—QUESTION AND ANSWER.

      A Quaker was examined before the Board of Excise, respecting certain duties; the commissioners thinking themselves disrespectfully treated by his theeing and thouing, one of them with a stern countenance asked him, "Pray, sir, do you know what we sit here for?"—"Yea," replied Nathan, "I do; some of thee for a thousand, and others for seventeen hundred and fifty pounds a year."

      CCLXXIII.—A TRUE JOKE.

      A man having been capitally convicted at the Old Bailey, was, as usual, asked what he had to say why judgment of death should not pass against him? "Say!" replied he, "why, I think the joke has been carried far enough already, and the less that is said about it the better: if you please, my lord, we'll drop the subject."

      CCLXXIV.—THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE.

      A judge asked a man what age he was. "I am eight and fourscore, my lord," says he. "And why not fourscore and eight?" says the judge. "Because," replied he, "I was eight before I was fourscore."

      CCLXXV.—A CITY VARNISH.

      It being remarked of a picture of "The Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen," in the Shakespeare Gallery, that the varnish was chilled and the figures rather sunk, the proprietors directed one of their assistants to give it a fresh coat of varnish. "Must I use copal or mastic?" said the young man. "Neither one nor the other," said a gentleman present; "if you wish to bring the figures out, varnish it with turtle soup."

      CCLXXVI.—A RUB AT A RASCAL.

      George Colman being once told that a man whose character was not very immaculate had grossly abused him, pointedly remarked, that "the scandal and ill report of some persons that might be mentioned was like fuller's earth, it daubs your coat a little for a time, but when it is rubbed off your coat is so much the cleaner."

      CCLXXVII.—A SAGE SIMILE.

      Mr. Thackeray once designated a certain noisy tragedian "Macready and onions."

      CCLXXVIII.—AN ARCHITECTURAL PUN.

      On the Statue of George I. being placed on the top of Bloomsbury Church.

      The King of Great Britain was reckoned before

       The head of the Church by all Protestant people; His Bloomsbury subjects have made him still more, For with them he is now made the head of the steeple.

      CCLXXIX.—THE MAJESTY OF MUD.

      During the rage of republican principles in England, and whilst the Corresponding Society was in full vigor, Mr. Selwyn one May-day met a troop of chimney-sweepers, dressed out in all their gaudy trappings; and observed to Mr. Fox, who was walking with him, "I say, Charles, I have often heard you and others talk of the majesty of the people; but I never saw any of the young princes and princesses till now."

      CCLXXX.—A PROVIDENT BOY.

      An avaricious fenman, who kept a very scanty table, dining one Saturday with his son at an ordinary in Cambridge, whispered in his ear, "Tom, you must eat for to-day and to-morrow."—"O yes," retorted the half-starved lad, "but I han't eaten for yesterday and to-day yet, father."

      CCLXXXI.—A QUERY ANSWERED.

      "Why, pray, of late do Europe's kings

       No jester to their courts admit?"

       "They're grown such stately solemn things,

       To bear a joke they think not fit.

       But though each court a jester lacks,

       To laugh at monarchs to their faces,

       Yet all mankind, behind their backs,

       Supply the honest jesters' places."

      CCLXXXII.—A WOMAN'S PROMISES.

      Anger may sometimes make dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. Queen Elizabeth seeing a disappointed courtier walking with a melancholy face in one of her gardens, asked him, "What does a man think of when he thinks of nothing?"—"Of a woman's promises!" was the reply; to which the Queen returned, "I must not confute you, Sir Edward," and she left him.

      CCLXXXIII.—THE MEDICINE MUST BE OF USE.

      Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, once pressing the duke to take a medicine, with her usual warmth said, "I'll be hanged if it do not prove serviceable." Dr. Garth, who was present, exclaimed, "Do take it, then, my lord duke, for it must be of service one way or the other."

      CCLXXXIV.—ROYAL FAVOR.

      A low fellow boasted in very hyperbolical terms that the king had spoken to him; and being asked what his Majesty had said, replied, "He bade me stand out of the way."

      CCLXXXV.—BLACK AND WHITE.

      The Tories vow the Whigs are black as night,

       And boast that they are only blessed with light.

       Peel's politics

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