Building Bridges - Don Parker

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essentials that teachers had to teach and students had to learn in order to contribute to society.

      Researchers of the 2000s have updated the three Rs to stand for relevance, rigor, and relationships—the strongest factors in helping students be successful in the classroom and in life—and studies have well documented the importance of teachers and administrators establishing relationships with students (Hamre & Pianta, 2001; Rudasill, Reio, Stipanovic, & Taylor, 2010). Research also has demonstrated the correlation between positive relationships and student achievement and reinforced the concept that caring teachers have the potential to motivate students to succeed academically and to stay in school (Rich, 2006). This approach is successful with the majority of students in the classroom but especially with students at risk (Beattie, Rich, & Evans, 2015; Reilly, 2014).

      However, while numerous teachers are adept at establishing relationships with students, countless teachers struggle mightily at establishing them with students at risk. This is “despite the belief that it is only by understanding the particular challenges faced by students at school that teachers are able to make changes and use strategies that reduce stress and increase success” (Bevan-Brown, Carroll-Lind, Kearney, Sperl, & Sutherland, 2008, p. 22). In addition, Ernest Morrell and Jeffrey M.R. Duncan-Andrade (2002) stress, “As classrooms across the country become increasingly diverse, determining how to connect in significant ways across multiple lines of difference may be the greatest challenge facing teachers today” (p. 88).

      Many students at risk have serious personal and social problems and have had negative experiences with adults in their past. This causes many of them to employ every conceivable tactic to avoid establishing any relationships other than antagonistic ones with teachers, administrators, and other school personnel (McWhirter, McWhirter, McWhirter, & McWhirter, 2006; Seita & Brendtro, 2005). The influence of the affective quality of teacher-student relationships on students’ perceptions may be especially true for those with behavioral problems. Students’ adjustment problems in schools have been linked to “the failure of classroom environments to meet students’ needs for a feeling of belonging to the classroom” (Martin & Dowson, 2009, p. 332).

      Inadequate relationships with teachers may lead to an aversion toward school and disengagement. According to Maria Poulou (2015), “When students feel alienated from school, they are at greater risk of developing antisocial behaviors, delinquency, and academic failure” (p. 87). The quality of teacher-student relationships may be a protective resource that promotes and maintains students’ school engagement (Skinner, Kindermann, Connell, & Wellborn, 2009).

      Research performed since 2000 provides strong evidence for the impact teacher-student relationships have on various aspects of students’ cognitive, emotional, and social development (Hamre & Pianta, 2001; Rudasill et al., 2010). Positive relationships have both short-term and long-term social and academic benefits for students (Baroody, Rimm-Kaufman, Larsen, & Curby, 2014). Naheed E. Hosan and Wendy Hoglund (2017) tell us, “Negative interactions with teachers may in turn accentuate the negative aspects of school for children and interfere with their enjoyment of school, elevating their risk for emotional disengagement” (p. 202).

      When teachers take the time to develop relationships with students, students feel more comfortable communicating with teachers and sharing information that may impact their learning. Healthy relationships also promote curiosity and increase the level of student engagement. Researchers assert that relationship building is at the heart of good teaching (Perry, 2013), and teachers who are flexible and can shift their interactions based on students’ emotional needs are much more successful (Warshof & Rappaport, 2013). In addition, young students’ relationships with teachers “reflect the quality of the emotional connection between the two parties, and these relationships play an important role in shaping students’ experience and adjustment in school” (Uslu & Gizir, 2017, p. 66).

      Fatih Koca’s (2016) findings support the key role of teacher-student relationships in students’ motivation to learn and their school adjustment:

      Positive teacher-student relationships can lead to a warm classroom environment that facilitates successful adaptation in school and increases student motivation to learn. In contrast, conflictual teacher-student relationships are associated with lower achievement and self-esteem as well as ongoing relational conflict with both teachers and peers. Children with whom teachers report positive relationships are outgoing and more socially competent. High-quality relationships between teachers and their students enhance classroom learning and motivation by building a safe and supportive classroom context for students to open up and take intellectual risks. (p. 8)

      As the research demonstrates, there are endless benefits to healthy, strong, and appropriate teacher-student relationships. The academic, social, and emotional benefits of building relationships with students should motivate every teacher to want to do so.

      Many teachers begin the school year with the intention of building relationships. They may be successful doing so with a few, some, many, or all their students. On the other hand, some teachers’ efforts are thwarted. When this occurs, teachers can continue with subtle acts of kindness toward the students and wait for them to come around. Those students who still do not respond may show an intentional lack of interest in the teacher’s attempts to connect with them. When that happens, the teacher may continue to work to build the relationship or just say “Forget it” and proceed through the rest of the school year with a “Let’s just get through this as best we can” mentality.

      But these unresponsive students are likely the ones who need connection the most. Although their initial behavior and attitude may send the message that they do not care, they want to be cared about and accepted. Perhaps they perceive adults negatively based on past occurrences. In many cases, they placed trust in an authority figure who let them down, and they have zero desire to repeat the experience. This presents a challenge for educators and requires considerable patience and perseverance.

      Educators and teachers are some of the most resilient people you’ll meet, possessing qualities of strength and determination. Does this describe you? Know this: even when the task is difficult—perhaps especially when the task is difficult—the potential for amazing outcomes is worth it. Maintain optimism and frame the challenge as an opportunity for life-changing success. No matter how adamantly these students attempt to push teachers away, they will so greatly appreciate knowing that their teachers care for them that they may develop an unwavering loyalty in return.

      To get to this place, the teacher has to have not only the will but also a relationship-building mindset to prevent him or her from throwing in the towel when times get tough. We as educators have to know that we do have the ability to connect with and role-model for our students. When we have the right mindset and refuse to give up, then we do not look at other alternatives or accept any other options; we keep trying until we are successful. This is the same mindset people adopt when they set a goal that they truly want to accomplish.

      I set a goal to go to college, graduate, and become a physical education teacher. The first couple of years of college were difficult for me. I did not feel that I was properly prepared for college work. Much of that was my own fault; I was not a model student in high school. When I first arrived at college, the amount of work and the degree of difficulty overwhelmed me. I also experienced culture shock. This environment was completely different from that of my youth, and I knew absolutely no one on campus. When progress reports came out, I was nearly failing every class.

      I wondered whether I was cut out for this and considered leaving. I was ready to drop out of school. I called my uncle who I regularly turned to for advice. He was a veteran Chicago police officer, and he gave me a talk that determined the projection of my future. I told him I wanted to drop out, and he asked me what my plan would be if I did. I told him that I could be a barber because I was good at cutting hair or a police officer like him. He then told me that I needed to “burn my ship.” Confused, I could only respond, “What?”

      My uncle then shared the story of Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés who led an expedition that caused the fall of the Aztec Empire and brought large portions of

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