River Legends; Or, Father Thames and Father Rhine - Baron Edward Hugessen Knatchbull-Hugessen Brabourne

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been the interesting subject of discussion between several parishes, each laudably anxious to escape being called upon to pay for his nurture and education, who would possibly have spent in the contest more than would have fed and educated twenty Smiths.

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      Eventually he would have been consigned to the workhouse school until he had arrived at an age when he might possibly have been able to learn something, at which moment this would very properly have been prevented by his being transferred to the enlivening employment of rook-keeping, from which he would have gradually risen to the position of a day-labourer upon some neighbouring farm, unless he had evinced sufficient intellectual ability to have aspired to the rank and dignity of “waggoner’s mate.” This brilliant career, however, was not open to our hero in the benighted days of which I speak. This being so, he not unnaturally did something else. He disappeared from the eyes of the world in a manner which would have been perfectly marvellous if there had been anybody who cared to marvel at it. This, however, was not the case.

      The venerable Druid who had sacrificed the child’s father took no trouble about the child, though he would probably have sacrificed him too with the greatest pleasure had any hint been given him upon the subject. The people who had permitted and sanctioned the deed never gave a thought to the infant who had thereby been left destitute. Public opinion was not in existence, and as this island had not then, as it has now, what is popularly called “the blessing of a Free Press,” the attention of the neighbourhood was not called to such trifling occurrences. So Smith’s father perished and Smith disappeared, without notice or remark from anybody. What really happened to the lad is known, of course, to me, and is sufficiently laughable. He wandered into the forest, and became the friend and companion of the toads, for which Windsor has always been famous.

      Now, although mortals are not generally aware of the fact, it is well known, brother, to you and me, that toads are among the wisest and most intelligent of animals. They may be called ugly by those who only judge of character and worth by the standard of that beauty which is after all but skin-deep; they may be termed slimy and unpleasant by those who cannot see below the surface; they may even be deemed stupid by people who are unable to discern the intellectual vigour which shines forth in the extraordinary brightness of the eye of a well-bred toad. But, as we know full well, a toad is one of the most powerful of created beings in his knowledge of magic and of hidden art. How many are the buried treasures over which a toad sits as guardian, laughing to himself at the busy mortals above who would give their eyes and ears to possess that which is really within their reach if they did but know it! And, apart from this peculiar point of view, how happy the life of a well-regulated toad!—how simple his tastes; how free from care his heart, how tranquil his existence, so long as he is permitted to enjoy it without being stamped upon by the cruel heel of mortal, or swallowed by the voracious mouth of snake. With the toads of the forest, then, Smith made his home; and often did I see him in those old days, sporting with his strange playmates among the roots of the gigantic trees which grew down to my very water’s edge, sometimes playing leap-frog, at other moments hopping races, and not unfrequently reclining by the side of one of the worthy toads, his arm thrown around it, and its body serving as a resting-place for his infant head and shoulders.

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      All this time the Boar continued to pursue his ravages unchecked and unmolested, and had become more than ever the terror of the surrounding country. In vain did the Druids denounce him: the more they cursed the more he seemed to prosper, and the whole framework of society was shaken by this terrible animal, The effect, moreover, throughout the whole island, was the reverse of agreeable.

      We have noticed, in the struggles of mankind for supremacy, that when one particular nation has obtained, whether by good fortune or good organization, great military successes, it sometimes happens that the citizens of that nation become puffed up and insolent beyond measure, considering that the mere fact of belonging to that victorious country stamps a man (however intellectually poor or morally imbecile) as something superior to his fellow-creatures, and gives him a right to be as rude and disagreeable as he pleases. Such was at this time the precise result of the Boar’s undiminished power. Every pig in the island thought himself far superior to any other animal. The insolence of Pigdom became rapidly intolerable; these unpleasant animals thrust their snouts into everybody else’s dish, and England was threatened with a porcine yoke which would inevitably have interfered with that great future which she was destined to achieve in afteryears. However, England has never been without her Smith in the hour of danger, and this, the first individual of that illustrious name, set the example which his descendants, have so often followed.

      Having formed the noble determination to free his country or perish in the attempt, he next determined to avoid the latter alternative if he possibly could. The manner in which he should proceed required, indeed, his most careful consideration. Instructed as he had been in magic arts by the excellent toads, he knew full well that he had to cope with an adversary who was said to be able to fight with the same weapons. Caution, therefore, as well as skill, was certainly necessary, and his first object was to discover the extent of the enemy’s power, and whether there existed any means by which it could be lessened. To do this, however, it was necessary to employ some spy to obtain intelligence upon which reliance might be placed.

      No mortal had ever dared to penetrate the lair of the great Boar; and those who wished to hear him grunt had never ventured to do more than creep, with stealthy step and timorous aspect, on the outer verge of the great thicket which he had been seen to enter after his marauding excursions. Nor, indeed, was it easy to find any four-footed animal who would undertake the task. The wolves and foxes, of which there were a very great number in Windsor Forest, respectfully but firmly declined; the hares and rabbits squeaked and ran away at the very idea; and the stoats and weasels declared that it was no business of theirs, and they could not interfere in such matters. Then there were the birds; but these simple creatures have always had a horror of magic and witchcraft, and there was nothing to be done with them. The tender wood-pigeons coo’d out their reluctance to dabble with anything which was not pure and holy and loving; the robin pretended not to hear, and sang his morning hymn with a provoking vehemence whilst Smith was accosting him; the owl shook her head gravely and gave vent to a low hoot of determined refusal; while the gaudy jays flew away laughing and shrieking in a most impertinent manner, which left no hope of their compliance.

      Thus baffled in his first attempt, Smith once more consulted the toads, and asked the oldest and wisest of them for his advice, which was promptly given. “The Foul Swine,” said he, “is not the great magician which he pretends. His tusks are long and his years many, but there are those within and without the forest more powerful than he. Your task is certainly one of some difficulty. Nevertheless, there is an ancient proverb well known among us toads which will be of great use to you, and which we are bound never to repeat to mortal ear save under certain conditions. The first of these is, that the mortal to whom we may repeat it must have passed at least half his life with our own people, and have learned to speak the toad language like a native. As you have now passed considerably more than the prescribed period among us, and (except perhaps as regards spitting) are in all respects a regular toad, this first condition has evidently been fulfilled in your case. The second condition requires that the person to whom the proverb shall be imparted must have rendered service to the toad people by killing at least twenty of our natural enemies, the snakes. This service you have yet to perform. The third condition simply stipulates that the individual in question

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