Better Leaders Ask Better Questions - Lindsay Ph.D Tighe

Скачать книгу

role managers play in creating cultures, it makes sense to start this journey by asking you to look at your role as a manager or leader. The starting point to reflect upon is our mindset, because what we think drives our behaviours, actions and, ultimately, the results we achieve within our role. Very often I find that before we can look at changing anything, we have to start by looking at the way we are and the beliefs that sit behind our behaviour.

      When we look closely at our beliefs, we frequently find that what we think isn’t something that we have chosen; it is something that has become programmed into our brains through:

      •historic experiences or perceived experiences

      •being passed on by relations/friends/significant people in our lives

      •the media

      •religious teachings

      •cultural norms

      •conforming to popular opinion or the ‘normal’ way of doing things.

      Rarely do we make conscious choices about what we believe, and it can be shocking to realise how much of our thinking is based on conforming to set views rather than on independent, well-considered, rational thought. We have a natural tendency to go with the crowd and to conform, and most of the time we don’t even realise we are doing it.

      In our workplaces, one of the first things that we experience when we take on a new role is an induction program. Whilst there is merit in undertaking such training, it is that we are being inducted into ‘the way we do things around here’, and the conforming starts without most of us being conscious that we aren’t making choices about what we’d prefer to do. Whilst I accept that this isn’t about having a free reign to do whatever we choose, I suggest that it isn’t always good to make everyone fit into the same box.

      Two good questions to consider are: ‘What are the expectations of my role?’ and ‘How do I want to go about meeting these expectations?’ Very often the answers to these questions are outlined to us by our organisations in an overt way in the form of job descriptions, during interviews and in the directions provided when we start our new roles. We have to remember that whilst expectations of us are outlined during these processes, we must also consider what guidelines we are being given about our approach to achieving these results.

      Sometimes these guidelines are provided by values and behavioural expectations, although frequently the ‘how you go about things’ is left to your discretion. That said, we often receive subconscious messages that will provide us with guidance. How often do people give you some friendly advice about what you should and shouldn’t do to be successful within your organisation? In addition, during conversations and interactions we are subjected to ‘role modelling’ behaviour by our colleagues and, in this way, we are indoctrinated into the culture of our organisations. Whilst the messages delivered to a new employee are frequently subtle, it is interesting to note the impact they have on the employee and their way of thinking, which in turn affects the way in which they fulfil their role.

      Self-reflection

      A good way to become aware of your practices is to do some honest self-reflection about the way that you are approaching your role. Whilst we often espouse certain values or behaviours, the reality is that no one knows that we consider those values or behaviours to be particularly important because they are not apparent from what we do on a day-to-day basis.

      I have worked with managers who say that they value empowering people, but if you ask their teams whether their manager carries out this practice, they will probably laugh at you and tell you that their manager is controlling and dictatorial! So, we should honestly reflect on recognising that we have ideals about how we’d like to be, but our actual practice may not meet these ideals and the reality and experience of others is frequently different to ours.

      One powerful way that we can carry out this honest self-reflection is to ask ourselves what others might say about us if they were asked to give a short description of our leadership style. If you have high self-awareness, there is a good chance that you will be fairly accurate with this. However, if you genuinely have no idea how you are perceived and are courageous enough to ask, then why not ask some people informally how they would describe you? It can be an enlightening experience!

      The good news is that when we do become aware of how we would like to operate, it is possible to work on this so that it becomes a reality. Recently, I was suddenly struck by the realisation that if I went to people who knew me well, they were most unlikely to describe me as being a ‘kind person’. Whilst I admit that being aware of this did not make me feel good, I always remind myself that whenever I do find something that I don’t like about myself, I should celebrate it because once I am aware of it I can choose to change. If I continued in ignorance doing what I have always done for the rest of my life, the potential for change would not present itself. So, honest self-reflection, whilst initially uncomfortable, can be an amazing tool to enable us to learn and grow, and to enable us to be the best that we can be.

      When I became aware of my desire to be described as ‘kind’, I recognised that something had to change in the way I was going about doing things – in other words, a change was needed in my behaviour. It was no good simply being aware of the need to change – it meant I had to take action. My approach to this was to start a reflection journal that I completed each evening, where I would ask myself honestly how I had demonstrated kindness during that day. I have to say that when I started to do this, I was quite disappointed in myself because I couldn’t think of things to write down. Quite magically, when we start to focus on something, we suddenly start to identify opportunities to do something in a different way. So as I journeyed through my day, I started to identify opportunities to be a kinder person – often in the simplest ways. Within a matter of days, I was feeling great that I could write things in my journal that really did demonstrate that I was being a kind person after all.

      I continued to update this journal for about three months. What I found really amazing was that I automatically started to do kinder things during the day without having to think about it – it became a new habit, and what a nice new habit to have! What is even more lovely is that when people talk about me nowadays, they will often refer to me as being a ‘kind person’, so that reaffirms for me that I am being more of the person that I want to be in the world.

      I hope that this simple example provides you with awareness about the importance of self-reflection and also about starting to identify what is important to us within our role as leaders. The key action that will make us stand out from other managers and leaders is that we take the important step of choosing how we wish to fulfil our roles, and what values and behaviours we will uphold in doing this. The important thing is that we make this choice, rather than simply ‘going with the flow’ in an unconscious state, and end up operating in a way that wasn’t what we set out to do.

      Case example

      I recall a time in my career where I really benefited by asking myself some challenging questions that enabled me to choose how I wanted to carry out my role. I had started a new role where I was an administration manager looking after a team of about 50 people. I was fortunate that the lady who had previously been in the role had agreed to a hand-over period of two weeks before she moved on to a new job, so I spent as much time with her as I possibly could to ‘learn the ropes’.

      During our second week together she sat me down and, with a serious look on her face, proceeded to give me some insights into what it was like working for the Managing Director (MD) of the business. She advised me that he was an interesting man and that despite having worked with him for the past four years, she had never been able to get him to change his mind or see her point of view. In fact, she boldly stated that no one could ever get him to change his mind and so it wasn’t worth even trying. Indeed, everyone in the company shared this view and so she was giving me a head start by letting me know this. Of course, I listened intently and noted what she had shared with me.

      About a week later, after my predecessor had left, one of my team leaders came up to me and sat down – also with a serious look on his face. He proceeded to let me know

Скачать книгу