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Counseling the Contemporary Woman. Suzanne Degges-White
Читать онлайн.Название Counseling the Contemporary Woman
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781538123621
Автор произведения Suzanne Degges-White
Жанр Управление, подбор персонала
Издательство Ingram
Authenticity
Authenticity is the capability to represent oneself fully, honestly, and truthfully within a relationship (Duffey & Somody, 2011; Jordan, 2018; Miller, 1986; Miller & Stiver, 1997). Authenticity serves to deepen a relationship if paired with self-awareness of one’s impact on others (Frey, 2013; Jordan, 2018)—statements should be made in a way that is honest, not hurtful or judgmental. Authentic statements are not based on impulse but rather on thoughtfulness. Two people in a relationship can have different opinions and views, yet both persons should be empowered to express themselves without fear of how it could affect their connection and relationship. For instance, two friends who have different opinions on cohabitation and marriage express their opinions openly without judging their friends’ beliefs or choices. Their friendship is bigger than one topic, and having different opinions is an opportunity for both friends to learn about a different outlook.
Nevertheless, it is difficult for individuals who have experienced a history of oppression, rejection, and marginalization to garner the trust to function authentically within a relationship (Duffey & Somody, 2011). Self-empathy facilitates authenticity; as individual’s develop self-compassion, they are empowered to accept themselves and present themselves vulnerably (i.e., authentically) without shame (Duffey & Somody, 2011). Therefore, the first step to being authentic with others is accepting oneself.
Growth-Fostering Relationships
A growth-fostering relationship (GFR) is an authentic, genuine relationship facilitated by mutuality, mutual empathy, and authenticity (Jordan, 2018). In these relationships, both individuals express themselves openly without fear of rejection. Conflicts arise, but instead of being a source of tension, disagreements enable a positive exploration of diversity and differences that promotes growth and deeper connection (Frey, 2013).
The Five Good Things
RCT theorist describe the positive outcomes of a GFR and being engaged in relational connection by the “five good things”: (1) zest, evidenced by increased energy and vitality; (2) an increased sense of worth and personal value; (3) clarity of self and other, understanding one’s role accurately in a relationship; (4) increased productivity, which is linked to the experience of being empowered; and (5) a desire for more and deeper connections (Comstock et al., 2008; Duffey, Haberstroh, & Trepal, 2009; Jordan, 2008, 2018; Miller, 1986; Miller & Stiver, 1997). These outcomes, which can look a little like a “love bubble” in a new relationship, are very different in their ability to sustain themselves and fuel a more authentic relationship.
Relational Images/Expectations
Relational images are an individual’s preconceived understanding or schema of current relationships based on previous experiences (Duffey & Somody, 2011). For instance, someone who has been bullied in the past expects people to treat them with this same kind of disrespect and enters a new relationship guarded. Relational images from chronic and ongoing abuse and rejection can be difficult to re-create; nevertheless, a GFR, the development of self-empathy, and ongoing authentic engagement can empower clients to revisit and re-create these images (Duffey & Somody, 2011).
Central Relational Paradox
RCT describes individual’s paradoxical reaction to seek isolation when they desire connection as the “central relational paradox.” This reaction can be learned behavior after experiencing chronic disconnections in meaningful relationships (Frey, 2013), or it may be driven by fear and a desire for safety (Comstock et al., 2008). If you have a client say, “I just need a weekend home alone,” you may ask them to consider if this is for rejuvenation or to avoid potential relational connection.
Condemned Isolation
Condemned isolation is the experience of feeling completely alone, excluded, and prevented from building connections. It is caused by “relational disconnections, power differentials, gender role socialization, racism, cultural oppression, health disparities, heterosexism, and other social injustice” (Comstock et al., 2008, p. 282). The experience can be societal after feeling like an outsider as a result of being a member of a minority or marginalized population, or it can be social such as being rejected by family because of sexual orientation (Singh & Moss, 2016). This feeling is reinforced through ongoing marginalization and inauthentic, nonmutual relationships and can produce long-term feelings of shame and inferiority.
Disconnection
Disconnections are inevitable in relationships (Jordan, 2017). They may be the result of arguments or withdrawing after feeling disregarded, misunderstood, or unappreciated and can also be paired with feelings of shame and humiliation (Comstock et al., 2008). A disconnection can lead to emotional injury and isolation or provide an opportunity for relational growth. When individuals in a relationship, social or clinical, address a disconnection and work through the hurt, a closer, more authentic relationship is formed, which then advances individual and relational development and maturity. While disconnections are uncomfortable, addressing them openly is imperative for the ongoing, lifelong development presented by RCT.
Relational-Cultural Therapy in Practice
The goal of RCT therapy is movement away from isolation (Duffey & Somody, 2011) into relational competence and growth (Frey, 3013; Singh & Moss, 2016). This is all done through the strength of connection and the therapeutic relationship. Within the confines of this relationship, a “quality of presence” (Jordan, 2000, p. 1014) is formed, and together a counselor and client can explore the presenting concern, evaluate past relationships, and experience disconnection and connection.
While the therapeutic relationship appears to begin with an imbalance of power due to a counselor’s expertise, RCT contends that both individuals in the counseling relationship bring their own competence and knowledge. Each person contributes to the sessions and the relationship. The counselor may be the expert clinically, but she is not the expert on the client’s life, and both individuals will grow through the connection developed in their therapeutic alliance. The counselor is responsible for acknowledging social discrimination, prejudice, and contextual factors that contribute to stress (Comstock et al., 2008) and then helping clients conceptualize themselves within their cultural context (Duffey & Somody, 2011).
The therapy process begins with an assessment phase (Jordan, 2018). While building the relationship, the counselor integrates some psychoanalytic components, gathering background information and learning the client’s early relational experiences (Frey, 2013; Jordan, 2018). Understanding the client’s history and looking at ongoing patterns of connection can be valuable in learning current ways of relating. The counselor also explores the client’s strengths, similar to other feminist therapies, and seeks to discover the client’s resiliencies, how they resolve conflicts, and what strategies they use for disconnection (e.g., fighting, instigating arguments, or withdrawing). The counselor discovers ineffective relational dynamics and explores how these have been reinforced by social influences (Comstock et al., 2008).
RCT describes the following six components as part of the therapeutic process (Jordan, 2018):
1. Working though relational connections and disconnections both in the therapeutic relationship and elsewhere. During counseling, clients are challenged to objectively evaluate their relationships. How do they relate to others? When do they feel connected? What influences their willingness to be vulnerable? What past experiences may affect this vulnerability? How do disconnections arise? When do they feel threatened? By exploring the answers to these and other related questions and working through the counselor–client relationship, clients begin to understand their feelings around relationships and their role in making them genuine or inauthentic.