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      Now that’s job security

      Popes are elected for life unless they voluntarily — without pressure or coercion — resign from office. (Pope Pontian was the first one to abdicate from the office in A.d. 235. Pope St. Peter Celestine V was the most famous to resign, going back to monastic life in 1294. Pope Benedict XVI was the last to resign in 2013.) No one can depose a pope even if he becomes insane, sick, or corrupt. No ecumenical council has the authority to remove him from office. So when a bad pope gets in (and from time to time, a bad pope has been elected), the only course of action is to pray to St. Joseph for a happy death of the pope in question. (St. Joseph is the patron of a happy death, because he probably died of natural causes in the arms of Mary and Jesus.)

      Although even one bad pope is one too many, Jesus picked 12 imperfect sinners as His Apostles. The first pope, St. Peter, weakened and denied Christ three times, and Judas, one of the first bishops, betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver. One repented; the other hanged himself instead of seeking mercy.

      This is our two cents’ worth: Of the 266 popes in history, only a dozen were real scoundrels and caused great scandal. Seventy-eight popes are recognized as holy saints (see Chapter 18), leaving 176 pretty good, all right guys. Better stats than for presidents, prime ministers, or monarchs around the world.

      THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

      Catholicism regards St. Peter as the first pope, handpicked by Jesus Christ Himself, according to the Gospel of St. Matthew (16:18), when Jesus said, “You are Peter and on this rock I will build my church.” If you count St. Peter as the first pope, then Francis is the 266th pope or the 265th successor of St. Peter, depending on where you begin. And you thought that memorizing the names of all the world leaders was hard when you were 10 years old?

      Probably the worst pope ever, Alexander VI (1492–1503) was a Borgia. The name is infamous; the Borgias were a notorious yet influential Italian family during the Renaissance when no unified Kingdom of Italy existed — only small principalities, dukedoms, and city-states. Pope Alexander VI had several illegitimate children before and during his reign as pope, two of whom are noteworthy: Cesare Borgia and his sister Lucrezia Borgia. Cesare grew up to be a ruthless autocrat, and Lucrezia is reputed to have been the most famous poisoner. Alexander VI is the epitome of nepotism, bribery, deceit, debauchery, and anything else you can imagine. The Borgias were the Sopranos of their time. The list of Borgias included 11 cardinals, two popes, a queen of England, and a saint.

      And Benedict IX (1032–1045) was a close second to the worst pope. Assuming the throne of St. Peter in his late teens or early twenties, this playboy pope incited a riot in Rome because the people were so disgusted with his antics.

      Where the pope hangs his hat

      The pope’s home is Vatican City, an independent nation since the Lateran Agreement of 1929, when Italy recognized its sovereignty. Vatican City covers only 0.2 square mile (108.7 acres), has fewer than a thousand inhabitants, and rests in the middle of Rome.

After 300 years of Roman persecution, the Emperor Constantine legalized Christianity in A.d. 313 with the Edict of Milan and thus formally ended the state-sponsored persecutions of the Christians. In A.d. 321, he donated the imperial property of the Lateran Palace to the bishop of Rome, which began a trend of donating property in recompense for all the land and possessions that the Romans took from the early Christians during the pagan era.

      The donation of large estates stopped around A.d. 600, but 154 years later, King Pepin (the Short) of the Franks (who was also the father of Charlemagne) issued the Donation of A.d. 754: The pope would govern the territory of central Italy (16,000 square miles). From 754 to 1870, Vatican City was part of the Papal States, also known as Patrimonium Sancti Petri (the Patrimony of St. Peter). During the unification of Italy, Giuseppe Garibaldi and Count Camillo Benso di Cavour, the two men most responsible for creating the Kingdom and modern nation of Italy in 1870, seized the Papal States and, for all practical purposes, ended the secular rule of the popes. Today, Vatican City is the smallest independent nation in the world. Ironically, it also has the largest number of embassies and ambassadors around the globe. Guglielmo Marconi, the inventor of radio, built a radio for Pope Pius XI; thus Vatican Radio began in 1931. Now, besides a radio and short-wave antennae, the Vatican has television, Internet programming, and a Facebook page. Pope Francis even uses his own Twitter account.

      The only real citizens of Vatican City, aside from the pope, are the cardinals who live in Rome, directors of other Vatican offices, and full-time diplomats who work for the Holy See (the pope and the various offices of Church government in the Vatican). These diplomats, clergy and laity alike, come from countries all over the world. They still retain their own nationality and citizenship but are given a Vatican passport while employed to represent the Vatican. Originally sent to Rome in 1506, about 107 Swiss guards protect the pope, decorating the Piazza (outdoor square where people gather) with their colorful costumes. In addition, plain-clothes Swiss guards, with electronic surveillance and sophisticated weapons, also keep a close eye on the Holy Father, especially since the attempted assassination of St. John Paul II in 1981.

      Since 1447 popes had lived in the Apostolic Palace, which is nothing more than rooms at the Vatican where the Holy Father lives, eats, and does business. Pope Francis chose to move (actually stay) in the hotel used by the cardinals during the 2013 conclave that elected him pope. The Domus Sanctae Marthae was built in 1996 by St. John Paul II to accommodate the needs of the electors as the Sistine Chapel had become too antiquated for living quarters.

      Because the Catholic Church has a billion-plus members, the pope depends on many helpers to govern the vast institution. The ranking system goes like this: The pope’s at the helm, followed by cardinals, archbishops/bishops, vicars general, monsignors, and priests. The rest of the Church is made up of deacons, monks, nuns, brothers, sisters, and laypersons. (The latter — lay men and lay women — make up 99.9 percent of the Church.)

      Cardinals

      Although the primary responsibility of the College of Cardinals is to elect a pope (see the earlier section “How the pope gets his job”), cardinals have many other responsibilities as well. The Roman Curia is the whole group of administrators (Cardinal Prefects) who head up their departments (congregations, tribunals, and so on), working together as the right hand of the pope. The pope governs through the Roman Curia, something like cabinet members who assist the president or department ministers who assist the prime minister. For example, a Cardinal Secretary of State represents the Holy See to foreign governments, because Vatican City is the world’s smallest independent country. And you can find a different cardinal heading up each congregation, such as the Congregation for

       Doctrine of the Faith

       Bishops

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