LITMIR.BIZ

      Preface

      Some events change your life. Most are not so powerful. Critical occurrences that have an impact are landmark experiences such as leaving home, the death of a parent, the achievement of a goal, failure, an accident, a chance encounter, or a natural disaster. Other transitional times may be less notable but still influential, such as moments of insight, prejudice, or simple acts of kindness. Outside of these memorable incidents, the rest of our existence is rather mundane and routine. Thus, we may be at a loss to recall what we ate or to whom we talked 2 days ago because neither was significant in life-changing or life-giving ways.

      In counseling we see people at crisis points. They are usually ready or willing to make necessary changes, some of which are dramatic. However, as clinicians we seldom remember most of the people we encounter because the helping process is more routine than avant-garde. My experiences reflect that pattern. I can recall only a few of the hundreds of individuals I have assisted. Yet some events in my personal and professional lives have been turning points that have influenced my growth and development in a manner like those situations that have most affected my clients. You have had (or most likely will have) some similar experiences. These times are filled with a plethora of emotions and thoughts as well as new behaviors.

      The vignettes in this text are representative of many universal dimensions involved in becoming a person and a helping professional. In these stories, you will find examples of

      Sometimes these three dimensions—the light, the bright, and the serious—occur simultaneously and are obvious. Sometimes they are sequential and more nuanced. Regardless, they are a part of the experience of novice and veteran counselors.

Although the incidents in these stories are unique, they are broad based. You may find yourself identifying with some of the events and their applicability to you. The “Points to Ponder” section at the conclusion of each chapter is an especially good place for such reflections. In any case, it is my hope that this book will assist you in living a richer, fuller, deeper, and more meaningful life through gaining greater awareness of yourself and the stages involved in the bittersweet process of choice and change.

      In reading this text, remember that although the incidents recorded here occurred, a few of the stories have been embellished a bit. In all circumstances, characters who were a part of these episodes, unless specifically identified, have been disguised through multiple means, such as combining them with similar people in a composite, changing their names, switching their genders, or modifying their presenting problem.

New to the Third Edition

      This third edition of Becoming a Counselor has grown from 121 stories to 156! It has also expanded in scope. The previous editions of this book contained some stories of my coming of age. This edition contains two dozen more from early childhood through college. Some of the incidents in these early memories influence my life today (e.g., “Hard Work”). A number of them I look back on with nostalgia (e.g., “Sex at Church”). Then there is another group I find unbelievable, as in “What was I thinking?” (e.g., “Water Works! A Rush Downstream to the Reservoir”). Regardless, these stories show who I was developmentally at a point in time, and they are timeless as memories.

      Besides having more stories, this edition of Becoming a Counselor has grown from 14 to 17 sections. Each section begins with a “Becoming” theme. These sections describe how I was becoming who I am today through such matters as making mistakes early in my career or venturing into the land of leadership.

      Another change in this book is that I have created a brief prelude— “The World Into Which I Was Born”—that describes the circumstances of my family when I entered the world in 1945. This introduction makes it easier for you to understand my worldview at the time and some of the behaviors I displayed growing up and maturing. An additional feature of this volume is Appendix A, which gives a brief overview of my life. It describes some of the main events in my development as a person, including successes and setbacks. I hope that it will help you gauge your own progress as a person and realize anew that life is not linear.

      Finally, I have added a few more stories about my life as an adult and tweaked a few of the stories in previous editions to make them more readable (see Appendix B). In all these vignettes, I have dealt with the ABCs of reality—affect, behavior, and cognition—and how they individually and collectively impact who we are and how we function through the years.