LITMIR.BIZ

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promise to obey me implicitly, if you like."

      "That's right," said Jill. "You will, won't you, Berry?"

      The latter looked at Adèle.

      "Do you also subscribe to my humiliation?" he said.

      Adèle smiled and nodded.

      "Unquestionably," she said. "By the time you get to Pau, you'll be an expert. And then you can teach me."

      "The pill-gilder," said my brother-in-law. "Well, well. So far as in me lies, I'll do as I'm told. But I insist upon plain English. I'm not going to be suddenly yelled at to 'double-clutch,' or 'feel the brake,' or 'close the throttle,' or something. It makes me want to burst into tears. That fellow who was teaching me asked me, without any warning and in the middle of some sheep, what I should do if one of my 'big ends were to run out.' I said I should consult a specialist, but the question upset me. Indirectly, it also upset the shepherd. … Which reminds me, I never knew a human being could jump so far. The moment he felt the radiator. … "

      "You never told us this," said Daphne reproachfully. "If I'd known you'd knocked somebody down——"

      "I never knocked him down," said Berry. "I tell you he jumped. … We stopped, of course, and explained. He was a little nettled at first, but we parted on the best of terms."

      "It's all very well," said my sister, "but I'd no idea——"

      "Every dog must have his bite," said I, laughing. "He won't do it again. And now, since I'm tethered, will somebody give me some beer?"

      Then and there supper was consumed.

      A vigorous discussion of the turn events had taken, and the advancement and scrutiny of a variety of high speculations regarding the probable style of our progress to Pau, prevailed until past twelve o'clock, but at length the others were evicted, and Adèle, Nobby, and I were able to prepare for the night.

      Out of the luxurious silence of a hot bath Adèle's voice came floating into the bedroom.

      "Boy!"

      "Yes, lady?"

      "I wish I was going with you to-morrow instead of Daphne."

      "So do I," I said heartily.

      Adèle sighed. Then—

      "It can't be helped," she said. "I think, on the whole, she would have worried more than I shall."

      "Not a doubt of it," said I cheerfully. "As she said, Berry's the only husband she's got."

      Adèle choked. Presently—

      "The real reason," she said, "is because she mistrusts her husband even more than I trust mine."

      When I had worked this out—

      "Aha," I said pleasedly.

      "But then, of course," said Adèle, "she's been married much longer."

      * * * * *

      With Rouen as our objective, we left Boulogne the next morning at ten o'clock. To speak more accurately, we left the hotel at ten o'clock and Boulogne itself some forty minutes later. The negotiation of an up-gradient leading out of the town was responsible for the delay.

      My sister and I shall remember that hill so long as we live. So, I imagine, will Berry. We were half-way up when he stopped the engine for the first time. We were still half-way up when he stopped it for the eighth time. Indeed, it was at this juncture that I suggested that he should rest from his labours and smoke a cigarette.

      My brother-in-law shook his head.

      "Shall I slide down backwards and begin again?" he inquired.

      "No, thanks," said I. "I have a foolish preference for facing death."

      "D'you think we could push it up?" said Daphne.

      "Frankly," said I, "I don't. You see, she weighs over a ton without the luggage."

      Berry cleared his throat.

      "I am not," he said, "going through the farce of asking what I do wrong, because I know the answer. It's not the right one, but you seem incapable of giving any other."

      "I am," said I.

      "Well, don't say it," said Berry, "because, if you do, I shall scream. No man born of woman could let in that clutch more slowly, and yet you say it's too fast. The truth is, there's something wrong with the car."

      "There soon will be," I retorted. "The starter will fail. Then every time you stop the engine you'll have to get out and crank. That'll make you think."

      "'Make me think'?" yelled Berry. "D'you think I haven't been thinking? D'you think I'm not thinking now? Haven't I almost burst my brains with thinking?" Daphne began to laugh helplessly. "That's right," added her husband savagely. "See the humorous side. I may go mad any minute, but don't let that stop you." And, with that, he set his foot upon the self-starter.

      When he had stopped the engine another three times, he applied the hand-brake with unnecessary violence, sank back in his seat, and folded his hands.

      My sister and I clung to one another in an agony of stifled mirth.

      Berry closed his eyes.

      "My work," he said quietly, "is over. I now see that it is ordained that we shall not leave this spot. There's probably an angel in the way with a drawn sword, and the car sees it, although we can't. Any way, I'm not going to fight against Fate. And now don't speak to me. I'm going to dwell on bullock-carts and goat-chaises and other horse-drawn vehicles. I shan't last many minutes, and I should like to die in peace."

      With a swift rush, Ping drew up alongside. From its interior Adèle,

       Jill, Nobby and Jonah peered at us excitedly.

      "Hullo!" said the latter. "What's up?"

      "Go away," said Berry. "Drive on to your doom. An apparition has appeared to us, warning us not to proceed. It was quite definite about it. Good-bye."

      "Jonah, old chap," said I, "I'm afraid you're for it. Unless you take us up, we shall be here till nightfall."

      With a groan my cousin opened his door and descended into the road. …

      One minute later we were at the top of the hill.

      "And now," said Daphne, with the Michelin Guide open upon her knees, "now for Montreuil."

      When five minutes had passed and my brother-in-law was breathing through his nose less audibly, I lighted a cigarette and ventured to look about me.

      It was certainly a fine highway that we were using. Broad, direct, smooth beyond all expectation, it lay like a clean-cut sash upon the countryside, rippling away into the distance as though it were indeed that long, long lane that hath no turning. Presently a curve would come to save the face of the proverb, but the bends were few in number, and, as a general rule, did little more than switch the road a point or two to east or west, as, the mood took them. There was little traffic, and the surface was dry.

      Something had been said about the two cars keeping together, but I was not surprised when Jonah passed us like a whirlwind before we were half-way to Samer. He explained afterwards that he had stuck it as long as he could, but that to hold a car down to twenty on a road like a private racing-track was worse than "pulling."

      Fired by Jonah's example, Berry laid hold of the wheel, and we took the next hill at twenty-five.

      It was a brilliant day, but the cold was intense, and I think we were all glad that Pong was a closeable car. That Winter's reign had begun was most apparent. There was a bleak look upon the country's face: birch-rods that had been poplars made us gaunt avenues: here and there the cold jewellery of frost was sparkling. I fell to wondering how far south we must go to find it warmer.

      Presently we came to Montreuil.

      As we entered the little town—

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