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The Book of Humorous Verse. Various
Читать онлайн.Название The Book of Humorous Verse
Год выпуска 0
isbn 4057664612601
Автор произведения Various
Жанр Языкознание
Издательство Bookwire
| God makes sech nights, all white an' still Fur 'z you can look or listen, Moonshine an' snow on field an' hill, All silence an' all glisten. Zekle crep' up quite unbeknown An' peeked in thru' the winder, An' there sot Huldy all alone, 'Ith no one nigh to hender. A fireplace filled the room's one side With half a cord o' wood in— There warn't no stoves (tell comfort died) To bake ye to a puddin'. The wa'nut logs shot sparkles out Towards the pootiest, bless her, An' leetle flames danced all about The chiny on the dresser. Agin the chimbley crook-necks hung, An' in amongst 'em rusted The ole queen's-arm that Gran'ther Young Fetched back f'om Concord busted. The very room, coz she was in, Seemed warm f'om floor to ceilin', An' she looked full ez rosy agin Ez the apples she was peelin'. 'Twas kin' o' kingdom-come to look On sech a blessed cretur; A dogrose blushin' to a brook Ain't modester nor sweeter. He was six foot o' man, A 1, Clear grit an' human natur'; None couldn't quicker pitch a ton Nor dror a furrer straighter. He'd sparked it with full twenty gals, He'd squired 'em, danced 'em, druv 'em, Fust this one, an' then thet, by spells— All is, he couldn't love 'em. But long o' her his veins 'ould run All crinkly like curled maple; The side she breshed felt full o' sun Ez a south slope in Ap'il. She thought no v'ice hed sech a swing Ez hisn in the choir; My! when he made Ole Hunderd ring, She knowed the Lord was nigher. An' she'd blush scarlit, right in prayer, When her new meetin'-bunnet Felt somehow thru its crown a pair O' blue eyes sot upun it. Thet night, I tell ye, she looked some! She seemed to 've gut a new soul, For she felt sartin-sure he'd come, Down to her very shoe-sole. She heered a foot, an' knowed it tu, A-raspin' on the scraper— All ways to once her feelins flew Like sparks in burnt-up paper. He kin' o' l'itered on the mat, Some doubtfle o' the sekle; His heart kep' goin' pity-pat, But hern went pity Zekle. An' yit she gin her cheer a jerk Ez though she wished him furder, An' on her apples kep' to work, Parin' away like murder. "You want to see my Pa, I s'pose?" "Wal … no … I come dasignin'—" "To see my Ma? She's sprinklin' clo'es Agin to-morrer's i'nin'." To say why gals act so or so, Or don't, 'ould be presumin'; Mebbe to mean yes an' say no Comes nateral to women. He stood a spell on one foot fust, Then stood a spell on t'other, An' on which one he felt the wust He couldn't ha' told ye nuther. Says he, "I'd better call agin"; Says she, "Think likely, Mister"; Thet last word pricked him like a pin, An' … Wal, he up an' kist her. When Ma bimeby upon 'em slips, Huldy sot pale ez ashes, All kin' o' smily roun' the lips An' teary roun' the lashes. For she was jes' the quiet kind Whose naturs never vary, Like streams that keep a summer mind Snowhid in Jenooary. The blood clost roun' her heart felt glued Too tight for all expressin', Tell mother see how metters stood, An' gin 'em both her blessin'. Then her red come back like the tide Down to the Bay o' Fundy, An' all I know is they was cried In meetin' come nex' Sunday. James Russell Lowell. |
HIRAM HOVER
A BALLAD OF NEW ENGLAND LIFE
| Where the Moosatockmaguntic Pours its waters in the Skuntic, Met, along the forest side Hiram Hover, Huldah Hyde. She, a maiden fair and dapper, He, a red-haired, stalwart trapper, Hunting beaver, mink, and skunk In the woodlands of Squeedunk. She, Pentucket's pensive daughter, Walked beside the Skuntic water Gathering, in her apron wet, Snake-root, mint, and bouncing-bet. "Why," he murmured, loth to leave her, "Gather yarbs for chills and fever, When a lovyer bold and true, Only waits to gather you?" "Go," she answered, "I'm not hasty, I prefer a man more tasty; Leastways, one to please me well Should not have a beasty smell." "Haughty Huldah!" Hiram answered, "Mind and heart alike are cancered; Jest look here! these peltries give Cash, wherefrom a pair may live. "I, you think, am but a vagrant, Trapping beasts by no means fragrant; Yet, I'm sure it's worth a thank— I've a handsome sum in bank." Turned and vanished Hiram Hover, And, before the year was over, Huldah, with the yarbs she sold, Bought a cape, against the cold. Black and thick the furry cape was, Of a stylish cut the shape was; And the girls, in all the town, Envied Huldah up and down. Then at last, one winter morning, Hiram came without a warning. "Either," said he, "you are blind, Huldah, or you've changed your mind. "Me you snub for trapping varmints, Yet you take the skins for garments; Since you wear the skunk and mink, There's no harm in me, I think." "Well," said she, "we will not quarrel, Hiram; I accept the moral, Now the fashion's so I guess I can't hardly do no less." Thus the trouble all was over Of the love of Hiram Hover. Thus he made sweet Huldah Hyde Huldah Hover as his bride. Love employs, with equal favor, Things of good and evil savor; That which first appeared to part, Warmed, at last, the maiden's heart. Under one impartial banner, Life, the hunter, Love the tanner, Draw, from every beast they snare, Comfort for a wedded pair! Bayard Taylor. |
BLOW ME EYES!
| When I was young and full o' pride, A-standin' on the grass And gazin' o'er the water-side, I seen a fisher lass. "O, fisher lass, be kind awhile," I asks 'er quite unbid. "Please look into me face and smile"— And, blow me eyes, she did! O, blow me light and blow me blow, I didn't think she'd charm me so— But, blow me eyes, she did! She seemed so young and beautiful I had to speak perlite, (The afternoon was long and dull, But she was short and bright). "This ain't no place," I says, "to stand— Let's take a walk instid, Each holdin' of the other's hand"— And, blow me eyes, she did! O, blow me light and blow me blow, I sort o' thunk she wouldn't go— But, blow me eyes, she did! And as we walked along a lane With no one else to see, Me heart was filled with sudden pain, And so I says to she: "If you would have me actions speak The words what can't be hid, You'd sort o' let me kiss yer cheek"— And, blow me eyes, she did! O, blow me light and blow me blow, How sweet she was I didn't know— But, blow me eyes, she did! But pretty soon me shipmate Jim Came strollin' down the beach, And she began a-oglin' him As pretty as a peach. "O, fickle maid o' false intent," Impulsively I chid, "Why don't you go and wed that gent?" And, blow me eyes, she did! O, blow me light and blow me blow, I didn't think she'd treat me so— But, blow me eyes, she did! Wallace Irwin. |
FIRST LOVE
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O my earliest love, who, ere I number'd Ten sweet summers, made my bosom thrill! Will a swallow—or a swift, or some bird— Fly to her and say, I love her still? Say my life's a desert drear and arid, To its one green spot I aye recur: Never, never—although three times married— Have I cared a jot for aught but her. No, mine own! though early forced to leave you, Still my heart was there where first we met; In those "Lodgings with an ample sea-view," Which were, forty years ago, "To Let." There I saw her first, our landlord's oldest Little daughter. On a thing so fair Thou, O Sun—who (so they say) beholdest Everything—hast gazed, I tell thee, ne'er. There she sat—so near me, yet remoter Than a star—a blue-eyed, bashful imp: On her lap she held a happy bloater, 'Twixt her lips a yet more happy shrimp. And I loved her, and our troth we plighted On the morrow by the shingly shore: In a fortnight to be disunited By a bitter fate forevermore. O my own, my beautiful, my blue-eyed! To be young once more, and bite my thumb At the world and all its cares with you, I'd Give no inconsiderable sum. Hand in hand we tramp'd the golden seaweed, Soon as o'er the gray cliff peep'd the dawn: Side by side, when came the hour for tea, we'd Crunch the mottled shrimp and hairy prawn:— Has she wedded some gigantic shrimper, That sweet mite with whom I loved to play? Is she girt with babes that whine and whimper, That bright being who was always gay? Yes—she has at least a dozen wee things! Yes—I see her darning corduroys, Scouring floors, and setting out the tea-things, For
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