The Essential Works of L. Frank Baum - L. Frank Baum

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be; but this meant a longer journey and the only way they could make time pass was to engage in conversation. The dragon seemed a willing and persistent talker and he was of so much interest to them that they encouraged him to chatter. His voice was a little gruff but not unpleasant when one became used to it.

      “My only fear,” said he presently, “is that this constant sliding over the surface of the Tube will dull my claws. You see, this hole isn’t straight down, but on a steep slant, and so instead of tumbling freely through the air I must skate along the Tube. Fortunately, there is a file in my tool-kit, and if my claws get dull they can be sharpened again.”

      “Why do you want sharp claws?” asked Betsy.

      “They are my natural weapons, and you must not forget that I have been sent to conquer Ruggedo.”

      “Oh, you needn’t mind about that,” remarked Queen Ann, in her most haughty manner; “for when we get to Ruggedo I and my invincible Army can conquer him without your assistance.”

      “Very good,” returned the dragon, cheerfully. “That will save me a lot of bother—if you succeed. But I think I shall file my claws, just the same.”

      He gave a long sigh, as he said this, and a sheet of flame, several feet in length, shot from his mouth. Betsy shuddered and Hank said “Hee-haw!” while some of the officers screamed in terror. But the dragon did not notice that he had done anything unusual.

      “Is there fire inside of you?” asked Shaggy.

      “Of course,” answered Quox. “What sort of a dragon would I be if my fire went out?”

      “What keeps it going?” Betsy inquired.

      “I’ve no idea. I only know it’s there,” said Quox. “The fire keeps me alive and enables me to move; also to think and speak.”

      “Ah! You are ver-y much like my-self,” said Tik-Tok. “The on-ly dif-fer-ence is that I move by clockwork, while you move by fire.”

      “I don’t see a particle of likeness between us, I must confess,” retorted Quox, gruffly. “You are not a live thing; you’re a dummy.”

      “But I can do things, you must ad-mit,” said Tik-Tok.

      “Yes, when you are wound up,” sneered the dragon. “But if you run down, you are helpless.”

      “What would happen to you, Quox, if you ran out of gasoline?” inquired Shaggy, who did not like this attack upon his friend.

      “I don’t use gasoline.”

      “Well, suppose you ran out of fire.”

      “What’s the use of supposing that?” asked Quox. “My great-great-great-grandfather has lived since the world began, and he has never once run out of fire to keep him going. But I will confide to you that as he gets older he shows more smoke and less fire. As for Tik-Tok, he’s well enough in his way, but he’s merely copper. And the Metal Monarch knows copper through and through. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ruggedo melted Tik-Tok in one of his furnaces and made copper pennies of him.”

      “In that case, I would still keep going,” remarked Tik-Tok, calmly.

      “Pennies do,” said Betsy regretfully.

      “This is all nonsense,” said the Queen, with irritation. “Tik-Tok is my great Army—all but the officers—and I believe he will be able to conquer Ruggedo with ease. What do you think, Polychrome?”

      “You might let him try,” answered the Rainbow’s Daughter, with her sweet ringing laugh, that sounded like the tinkling of tiny bells. “And if Tik-Tok fails, you have still the big fire-breathing dragon to fall back on.”

      “Ah!” said the dragon, another sheet of flame gushing from his mouth and nostrils; “it’s a wise little girl, this Polychrome. Anyone would know she is a fairy.”

      14. The Long-Eared Hearer Learns by Listening

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      During this time Ruggedo, the Metal Monarch and King of the Nomes, was trying to amuse himself in his splendid jeweled cavern. It was hard work for Ruggedo to find amusement to-day, for all the nomes were behaving well and there was no one to scold or to punish. The King had thrown his sceptre at Kaliko six times, without hitting him once. Not that Kaliko had done anything wrong. On the contrary, he had obeyed the King in every way but one: he would not stand still, when commanded to do so, and let the heavy sceptre strike him.

      We can hardly blame Kaliko for this, and even the cruel Ruggedo forgave him; for he knew very well that if he mashed his Royal Chamberlain he could never find another so intelligent and obedient. Kaliko could make the nomes work when their King could not, for the nomes hated Ruggedo and there were so many thousands of the quaint little underground people that they could easily have rebelled and defied the King had they dared to do so. Sometimes, when Ruggedo abused them worse than usual, they grew sullen and threw down their hammers and picks. Then, however hard the King scolded or whipped them, they would not work until Kaliko came and begged them to. For Kaliko was one of themselves and was as much abused by the King as any nome in the vast series of caverns.

      But to-day all the little people were working industriously at their tasks and Ruggedo, having nothing to do, was greatly bored. He sent for the Long-Eared Hearer and asked him to listen carefully and report what was going on in the big world.

      “It seems,” said the Hearer, after listening for awhile, “that the women in America have clubs.”

      “Are there spikes in them?” asked Ruggedo, yawning.

      “I cannot hear any spikes, Your Majesty,” was the reply.

      “Then their clubs are not as good as my sceptre. What else do you hear?’

      “There’s a war.

      “Bah! there’s always a war. What else?”

      For a time the Hearer was silent, bending forward and spreading out his big ears to catch the slightest sound. Then suddenly he said:

      “Here is an interesting thing, Your Majesty. These people are arguing as to who shall conquer the Metal Monarch, seize his treasure and drive him from his dominions.”

      “What people?” demanded Ruggedo, sitting up straight in his throne.

      “The ones you threw down the Hollow Tube.”

      “Where are they now?”

      “In the same Tube, and coming back this way,” said the Hearer.

      Ruggedo got out of his throne and began to pace up and down the cavern.

      “I wonder what can be done to stop them,” he mused.

      “Well,” said the Hearer, “if you could turn the Tube upside down, they would be falling the other way, Your Majesty.”

      Ruggedo glared at him wickedly, for it was impossible to turn the Tube upside down and he believed the Hearer was slyly poking fun at him. Presently he asked:

      “How far away are those people now?”

      “About nine thousand three hundred and six miles, seventeen furlongs, eight feet and four inches—as nearly as I can judge from the sound of their voices,” replied the Hearer.

      “Aha! Then it will be some time before they arrive,” said Ruggedo, “and when they get here I shall be ready to receive them.”

      He rushed to his gong and pounded upon it so fiercely that Kaliko came bounding into the cavern with one shoe off and one shoe on, for he was just dressing himself after a swim in the hot bubbling lake of the Underground Kingdom.

      “Kaliko, those invaders whom we threw down the Tube are coming back again!” he exclaimed.

      “I

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