LITMIR.BIZ

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I've got to wait; that isn't very pleasant."

      "Dame! monsieur, we can't have 'buses ready to start every minute."

      "Why not? It would be much pleasanter for the passengers; but nothing is ever done to please the passengers; I must complain to the management."

      "Complain, if you choose, monsieur; that's none of our business."

      "Why, yes, it is your business, too; it ought to be your business, as you're the one we deal with. What sort of a way is that to answer? Is that the way you treat passengers here? It seems to me that you ought to show more respect."

      The man who is going to La Villette approaches the clerk once more.

      "Tell me, have I got time to go to the pastry-cook's to buy a cake?"

      "Why, monsieur, no one interferes with your going.—Here's the Grenelle 'bus—passengers for Grenelle—take your places!"

      "I ask you if I have got time to go to get a cake before my 'bus comes?"

      "Place des Victoires! All aboard for Place des Victoires!"

      "Tell me about getting my cake!"

      "Yes, monsieur; yes, yes, go to the pastry-cook's!"

      And the clerk turns to his comrade, muttering:

      "What a nuisance the fellow is with his cake!—Where should we be if everybody asked questions like that?"

      A woman, of forty years or thereabout, who could not easily have found a compartment large enough to hold her, entered the office, leading two small boys, one of eight and one of four years, who were dressed like the little trained dogs that do tricks on the boulevards, and whose noses had evidently been overlooked because of their hurried departure from home.

      A servant, laden with an enormous basket, from which protruded divers fishes' tails and bunches of leeks, and with an insecurely tied pasteboard box, bulging as to the sides and split in several places, sulkily followed her mistress, hitting everybody with her basket and box, without a word of apology, but apparently rather inclined to make wry faces at her victims.

      "I want two seats for Romainville, monsieur—for me and my maid; my boys don't pay, because we hold them in our laps."

      "Madame, this boy is certainly more than five; he must pay."

      "But, monsieur, I tell you, I hold him in my lap; so we only fill one seat."

      "That must annoy your neighbors."

      "I don't suppose people ride in omnibuses to be comfortable!—Aristoloche, where are you going? Stay with your nurse, sir! Adelaide, do look out for the child; you know how fretful he is!"

      Mademoiselle Adelaide, who looked more like a cook than a lady's maid, had gone with her packages and planted herself on a bench, between an old gentleman and an old woman, causing them to jump into the air as if they were elastic. The shock was so violent that the old woman shrieked, thinking that she had been electrified. The man, irritated beyond words by the manner in which the servant had plumped down beside him, and perceiving that the fishes' tails which protruded from her basket were caressing the sleeves of his coat, pushed the basket away with his elbow, exclaiming:

      "What sort of way is that to sit down, throwing yourself onto people? Pay attention to what you are doing, mademoiselle, and be good enough to move your basket; I have no desire to have your fish rub against my sleeves and make them smell like poison."

      "What! what do you say? What's the matter with the old fellow?"

      "I tell you to move your basket; I don't want it under my nose."

      "Where do you want me to put my basket, eh? On the floor perhaps, so that someone can steal it! Oh, yes! we should have a nice time in the country, where there's never anything to eat. What harm does the basket do you?"

      "It smells like the devil!"

      "Nonsense, it's yourself!"

      "I pity the passengers in the 'bus with you; they'll have a fine time!"

      "Shut up, you old cucumber! you'd like to be as fresh as my fish!"

      The epithet old cucumber touched the old man to the quick; he got up and walked away, muttering:

      "If you weren't a woman, I'd stuff your words down your throat!"

      "Oh, indeed! you'd have plenty to do then, for I feel like saying a good deal more to you."

      "But, Adelaide, I beg you, look out for Aristoloche; he's going out of the office."

      "Well, I can't help it, madame; I can't attend to everything; I have quite enough to do with your box and your basket—and with talking back to this veteran."

      "Veteran! I believe that you had the face to call me veteran!"

      "La Villette—all aboard!—Monsieur, you're for La Villette; hurry up!"

      These words were addressed to the old man who was disputing with Adelaide, and who, as he left, bestowed a crushing glance on the servant, who laughed in his face and administered a cuff to young Aristoloche, the child of four, who, despite his mamma's orders, persisted in trying to leave the office.

II

       A BLONDE AND A BRUNETTE

       Table of Contents

      "Well, monsieur," said the corpulent dame, pulling over her eldest son's eyes a small gray felt hat, with a Henri IV crown, and surrounded on all sides by feathers which drooped like palm-leaves; "we can get tickets for Romainville, I hope?"

      "We don't sell tickets for Romainville, madame, but for Belleville; there you'll find the Romainville stage."

      "Oh! you don't sell tickets for Romainville here; that's very unpleasant. Shall we have to pay again when we change?"

      "Yes, madame; but if you take checks, it will be only four sous twenty centimes."

      "For each?"

      "To be sure."

      "That's very dear. Narcisse, do pull your hat down, or you'll lose it; you know it fell off just now on the boulevard, and somebody almost stepped on it; your fine Henri IV hat is very pretty, you know."

      "I hate it; the feathers make me squint."

      "Hold your tongue, bad boy; your aunt bought that hat for you; you won't get another for two years!"

      "Take off the feathers, then!"

      "Hush! you don't deserve to be so fine!"

      "Fine! oh, yes! all the boys make fun of me and say I look like a chienlit."[A]

      "They're little villains! They say that from envy, for they'd like right well to have a hat like yours.—Say, monsieur, can you promise me a seat in the other 'bus?"

      "Oh! I can't promise you; but if there's no room in that, there's sure to be in the next one."

      "Do they start often?"

      "Every twenty minutes."

      "Wait twenty minutes! why, that's horrible! Oh! how sorry I am I promised my aunt to dine with her to-day!"

      "Especially," muttered the servant, "as we have to carry our own dinner when we dine with her.—A pretty kind of invitation! She don't ruin herself giving dinner parties!"

      "Here, give me two tickets for Belleville."

      "Here they are, madame."

      "Come here, Aristoloche; come here this minute! Oh! how these children do torment me! They're like little snakes!"

      "All

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