Quodlibet: containing some annals thereof - John Pendleton Kennedy

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followers of Flan Sucker.

      Ferox Tigertail.—Marshal of the district, resident in Bickerbray, an old Federalist, but reformed into a New-Light Democrat: choleric, and difficult to keep in harness.

      Washington Cutbush.—His clerk, suspected of having an opinion of his own in politics.

      Corney Dust.—His porter, charged with being lukewarm, and attending to nothing but his office.

      Virgil Philpot.—Editor of The Bickerbray Scrutinizer, and an out-and-out friend of the Hon. Middleton Flam.

      Abram Schoolcraft.—Nurseryman in Bickerbray, member of the Legislature.

      Curtius Short.—Cheap store-keeper in Tumbledown, member of the Legislature.

      Cale Goodfellow.—Sportsman, Farobanker, etc., of Tumbledown, and entirely devoted to Theodore Fog.

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      Michael Grant.—Formerly a tanner, occupying the land on which Quodlibet was built. Having amassed an independence, he has retired to his farm at the foot of the Hogback, where he lives, surrounded by his four sons.

      Andrew Grant.—His youngest son, educated to the engineer service, but preferring to be at home, married the daughter of Stephen P. Crabstock, and lives near the Hogback.

      Abel Brawn.—A substantial blacksmith, but unfortunately infected with Whig principles—a matter of great regret to his friends among the New Lights.

      Davy Post.—Wheelwright.

      Geoffry Wheeler.—Teamster.

      Peter Ounce.—Keeper of the Boatmen's Hotel, on the Canal.

      Stephen P. Crabstock.—Iron-master, and proprietor of the Hogback Furnace—a man who in spite of his adherence to the dangerous doctrines of the Whigs, has arisen from poverty to wealth by his own exertions.

      Augustus Postlethwaite Tompkinson.—Editor of The Thorough Blue Whole Team—a paper characterized by its mendacity, its ferocity, and utter disregard of the feelings of the purest New Lights in the nation. A bitter enemy of the Hon. Middleton Flam, and having the audacity to speak lightly of the President of the United States.

      John Smith.—A gentleman generally known throughout the Union, and several times run for Congress.

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      Jesse Ferret.—Inn-keeper and proprietor of The Hero—a cautious man, and somewhat afraid of his wife.

      Sam Hardesty.—Carpenter, so much under the weather as to have had no time to make up his mind, notwithstanding Mr. Flam's generosity toward him.

      Quipes.—House and sign, plain and ornamental painter, glazier, and artist in the portrait and landscape line.

      Nicholas Hardup.—Cattle dealer, a borrower of money from Mr. Flam, and, strange to tell, not yet satisfactorily settled in his opinions.

      Isaiah Crape.—Undertaker and conductor of funerals—Cabinet and furnishing store-keeper.

      Sergeant Trap.—On the recruiting service at Quodlibet.

      His Drummer.—A short and ferocious martialist.

      Charley Moggs.—Boss loafer of Bickerbray, and promoted in the army as Sergeant Trap's fifer.

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      Mrs. Middleton Flam.—Lady of our member, and mother of a large family.

      Miss Janet Flam.—Sister of Mr. Middleton.

      Mademoiselle Jonquille.—French Governess to the Misses Flam.

      Polly Ferret.—Commander-in-chief of all the forces of The Hero.

      Susan Barndollar.—Her daughter, wife of Barndollar & Hardbottle, and remarkable for having her own opinion.

      Mrs. Younghusband.—The Postmaster's lady.

      Mrs. Snuffers.—Lady of the Superintendent of the Hay Scales, a woman of great consideration in the Borough.

      Hester Hardbottle.—Maiden sister to Anthony Hardbottle.

      Mrs. Handy.—Lady of the Cashier, and leader of the fashion in Quodlibet.

      Henrietta Handy.—Her daughter—supposed to have been favorably impressed by Mr. Agamemnon Flag.

      Mrs. Trotter.—Mrs. Handy's housekeeper.

      Servants, etc.—Sam, the waiter; William, the footman; Nace, the coachman; and Sarah, the maid, in Mr. Handy's service. Black Isaac, Kent bugle player; Yellow Josh, clarionet—Cicero, Neal Hopper's factotum. Billy Spike, Abel Brawn's fly-flapper, etc. etc.

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      ANTIQUITIES OF QUODLIBET—MICHAEL GRANT'S TANYARD DESTROYED BY THE CANAL—CONSEQUENCES OF THIS EVENT—TWO DISTINGUISHED INDIVIDUALS TAKE UP THEIR RESIDENCE IN THE BOROUGH—ESTABLISHMENT OF THE PATRIOTIC COPPERPLATE BANK—CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH LED TO AND FOLLOWED THAT MEASURE—MICHAEL GRANT'S OBJECTIONS TO IT.

      It was at the close of the year 1833, or rather, I should say, at the opening of the following spring, that our Borough of Quodlibet took that sudden leap to greatness which has, of late, caused it to be so much talked about. Our folks are accustomed to set this down to the Removal of the Deposits. Indeed, until that famous event, Quodlibet was, as one might say in common parlance, a place not worth talking about—it might hardly be remarked upon the maps. But since that date, verily, like Jeshurun, it has waxed fat. It has thus come to pass that "The Removal" is a great epoch in our annals—our Hegira—the A. U. C. of all Quodlibetarians.

      Michael Grant, a long time ago—that is to say, full twenty years—had a tanyard on Rumblebottom Creek, occupying the very ground which is now covered by the canal basin. Even as far back as that day he had laid up, out of the earnings of his trade, a snug sum of money, which sufficed to purchase the farm where he now lives at the foot of the Hogback. Quodlibet, or that which now is Quodlibet, was then as nothing. Michael's dwelling house and tanyard, Abel Brawn's blacksmith-shop, Christy M'Curdy's mill, and my school-house, made up the sum-total of the settlement. It is now ten years, or hard on to it, since the commissioners came this way and put the cap-sheaf on Michael's worldly fortune by ruining his tanyard and breaking up his business, whereof the damage was so taken to heart by the jury that, in their rage against internal improvements, they brought in a verdict which doubled Mr. Grant's estate in ready money, besides leaving him two acres of town lots bordering on the basin, and which, they say, are worth more to-day than the whole tanyard with its appurtenances ever was worth in its best time. This verdict wrought a strange appetite in our county, among the landholders, to be ruined in the same way; and I truly believe it was a chief cause of the unpopularity of internal improvements in this neighborhood, that the commissioners were only able to destroy the farms on the lowlands—which fact, it was said, brought down the price of the uplands on the whole line of the canal, besides creating

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