Salvation on the Small Screen? - Nadia Bolz-Weber

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we’re the middle of God’s own furnace, like some “this hurts me more than it hurts you,” or “it’s for your own good” abusive logic. And worship certainly doesn’t have to mean listening to “Jesus Is My Boyfriend” praise music in you car. But how can our vocations as the baptized be lived out in the world as a conscious act of worship? For doxological living is in the reality of us being fully creature and God Creator. God is then not something we tack on to our lives but is the source of life itself in whom we move and live and have our being.

      THE ROUNDUP

      Old Testament passages cited: Nine.

      New Testament passages cited: Eight.

      Cost of products offered: Depends on how much you want to get out of God’s furnace.

      Doctrine of God: God has low self-esteem and puts us in furnaces until we start to tell him how great he is; then he’ll let us out.

      Mentions of Jesus: One —Jesus’ blood allows us to repent.

      Cups of coffee: Two.

      Thought for the hour: What does living a life of worship look like? Perhaps actually acting and living as though God is the source of all life.

       Intermission

      REFLECTION ON

       THE BLANK SCREEN

      Simul lustus et Peccator

      THE LATIN ABOVE means “simultaneously saint and sinner,” and, as a matter of fact, is tattooed around my right wrist (because, as I mentioned before, I’m just that much of a theological fancy-pants). Why, you may ask, get a fancy-pants Latin tattoo about sin on my wrist? Because in my tradition we hold that we are all 100 percent sinner and 100 percent saint. But wait, Nadia, you say, that’s 200 percent. Well, yes and no. You see the two 100 percents are simultaneous. There is no process of sanctification, good works, prayer, yoga, recycling, Bible study, or holy living that makes us even 99 percent sinner and 101 percent saint. Much less like 10/190. As Luther says, we are at the same time the Old Eve (or Adam) and the New Creature. The really liberating thing about this is that when we all come to the table fully aware that we are sinners, that we are broken on some level and never perfect, then the temptation to pretend otherwise is greatly diminished. To embrace your sinfulness and saintliness is not the same as being intentionally immoral. It is to be realistic and to recognize that no one can possibly be 100 percent honest all the time, can always think of the neighbor before the self, can always honor God in everything we do, can at all times decrease in self so that others may increase. Even if our actions come close to this (they never do, but if they did) then we still are stuck with the reality of our minds and the thoughts of our hearts. When Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that even if you look on a woman in lust you have committed adultery, this was not to set the bar so high that you feel defeated, or then again maybe it was exactly that. You see, the spiritual poison of our own righteousness is problematic (saying “here are the rules we must follow to please God and to be sanctified, and I follow those rules so I have good reason to be prideful about my sanctification because I earned it”). Jesus knew this was ridiculous. I like to think of him basically saying to those self-righteous guys, “If you seriously think you are without sin, you’re just kind of an idiot.” Of course that’s the sarcastic Jesus in my head. Thank goodness the real Jesus is more gracious than I am.

       Jesse Duplantis Ministries

      (Being Charlie in God’s chocolate factory) 6:00 a.m.

      We all grab more coffee as Matthew, my husband, leaves to pick up the pastries I ordered from our local bakery. It’s time for Jesse Duplantis, a very entertaining Cajun preacher straight from New Orleans. He looks a bit like Cornelius from Planet of the Apes, but in a silk suit and with a Cajun accent.

      As we settle in I tell Jay and Annie about my favorite part of the only other Jesse Duplantis sermon I’ve heard, during which he talked about his “sinner friends.” Here’s an excerpt: “I believe you should have sinner friends. Jesus was a friend of sinners, but you should be stronger than the sin they are sinning.”

      Sinner friends? This of course begs the question: for whom is he the sinner friend? I like to think that if Jesse and I were buddies I’d introduce him as “Jesse, my sinner friend.” I think I’m not unusual in saying that all my friends are sinner friends, because, other than my cat, they are all human.

      It’s hard for me not to assume that these TV preachers, when they talk about how they “once were sinners” really mean that they were once immoral and now that they are Christians they don’t do the things Christians are not supposed to do and they do do the things that Christians are supposed to do.

      ♦♦♦

      The teaser for today’s show indicates that he’s in the middle of a series entitled “Taking Ownership of What’s Ours.” And he starts at the Beginning. Literally. Jesse tells the creation story from his viewpoint, namely, that God existed and that the angels were created at the time God created the heavens, after which he created earth and sea and…oysters because “God knew a Cajun was gonna come and show people how to cook them. And he created trees with seeds already in them, so what came first the chicken or the egg?” Without the slightest hesitation or irony Jesse boldly proclaims, “The Chicken. Because without the chicken there is no egg.”

      Laughter explodes in my living room. We can’t even breathe, except Jay, who manages to say “Could he now maybe unpack the whole ‘why did the chicken cross the road’ thing for us? That’d be awesome.”

      Jesse’s trying to explain how jealous and angry the angels must have felt when God said, “Let us make man in our own image”:

      The angels say “Man? What is that? You’re going to make a new life species to look like you?” [God says] “Not only to look like me but for me to dwell in like a habitation.” [The angels say,] “Why do you need them?” [God:] “Partnership.” [Angels:] “But you have us.” [God:] “I know, but I’m gonna give them something you don’t have.” Oh Lord, we’re getting into some deep stuff here.

      The audience is really worked up. Jesse goes on to claim that the reason Adam didn’t take ownership of what was his is because he didn’t understand himself. “But when I finish today, you’re going to understand yourself.” So God gives this species more power than any other species: dominion over the earth. “That’s why Satan is jealous of you. You got something he didn’t get.”

      “Wow, Satan’s really petty, huh?” Annie adds. “So the devil hates us because we, like, have toasters and cell phones?”

      “No,” I respond, “that’s why the Taliban hates us.”

      Jesse now refers back to the Genesis text: “Image and likeness of God…. whewww. What is man that thou visiteth him? I’m talking about taking ownership of what is ours. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t believe in anything. I learned that from Jesus. I always speak well of myself to myself.” So at this point Jesse goes off a little bit about how he talks to himself in the mirror thusly:

      Do you know who you are? Do you know how much God loves you and will do anything for you if you ask in his name? Do you know just how good you are? Some think that is egotism. No. That’s ownership. Didn’t Jesus do that? He said, “I’m the way, I’m the truth, I’m the light.”

      I can’t help but say “Um, but see, he was Jesus, and I’m thinking that’s kind of what separates you.”

      Quoting a Stuart Smalley skit from Saturday Night Live, Annie says, “I’m good enough I’m smart enough “

      Exactly.

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