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my soul bloom throughout my journey.

      My biological family was with me through thick and thin, literally. Although I had challenges growing up, my parents, May and Bob Hershey, always did the best they could and I feel incredibly loved by them. I can also always count on my sister and brother, Bonnie and Denny Hershey; family love runs strong through our veins and hearts!

      My illustrator, the talented, wise, generous, and very loving Alison Hershey Manes is also my beloved daughter. She is a blessing in my life, as are her five awesome daughters who bring me immense joy.

      The Twelve-Step Recovery community became my family of choice in the 1970s and gave me the best education I ever received (and I have two master degrees!). These folks loved me until I learned to love myself and I am forever grateful. With their help and support, I experienced physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual recovery: I learned about feelings, had a spiritual awakening, began to engage in healthy eating, and moved into self-acceptance.

      My spiritual family also loves me unconditionally, and I am very thankful for them. Robin Trainor Masci, my best friend, was the first person to hold up a mirror and show me the awesomeness of my true self; I am immensely grateful that I can always count on her friendship and her love. Many others have been my cheerleaders and supporters as I wrote this book, including Janet Mooney, who makes me laugh every day and strongly encourages the best in me, and Mark Naseck, my soul brother, who celebrates all the victories with me. I am appreciative of many others, way too numerous to mention, who hold the energy for me and see me in my highest self.

      An acknowledgment also goes to my writing family. In 2010 I attended Tom Bird's writing retreat and birthed this book. I am grateful for Tom's encouragement and for the support of all my classmates, especially my roommate, Jerelyn Schultz, and the Tucson writing group that was formed with Mimi Villifane, CJ Walker, Jan, and Jere.

      Many folks worked with me in the revision stage of the book. Thanks to Laura George for her reassurance and care in helping me through the writing-publishing process. Mary Langford did a phenomenal job assisting with the submission package and the first few chapters of the book before she became ill; working with her was easy and fun, and I continue to pray for her optimal health. When I needed quick editing help, Mimi and Ellie Starer graciously jumped in. Then the very observant eyes of Andra Ewton and Windy Jones took over and I relished being able to count on them, the ease of working with them, and the invaluable suggestions they made.

      Conari Press has become my newest family, and I am so thankful that my dear friend Nancy Burson recommended them. I feel indebted to Caroline Pincus who told me my writing was “Terrific. Just terrific,” and decided to take a chance on me, an unknown author. The editorial help I have received from Caroline Pincus and Susie Pitzen has been invaluable, I love Jim Warner's cover design, I appreciate Martha Knauf's assistance, and I look forward to working with Pat Rose and everyone else at Conari who is going to bat for me (and the book)!

      Jeanne Rust has been a friend for several years and I so appreciate her believing in me, seeing my light, and writing the foreword.

      Although I don't always get to the conferences, the energy psychology community has felt like a family to me and holds a special place in my heart. We are all indebted to Kate Sorenson, my incredibly wise soul sister, who instituted the Energy Psychology Conference in 1999, and to my ingenious teacher and colleague, Gary Craig, who so generously gave EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to the world.

      And finally, I applaud my clients and the many women I sponsored for trusting me enough to test out the methods discussed throughout this book. It has been a blessing to walk beside them and support them in their growth and recovery.

      Thank you.

      Introduction

       Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

       —JAMES BALDWIN, THE CROSS OF REDEMPTION: UNCOLLECTED WRITINGS

      DESPITE THE FACT THAT AMERICANS are obsessed with weight and spend over $60 billion a year on diets and diet products, has it done any good?

      The media screams out to us on a daily basis: We have an obesity epidemic! According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, over two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Many of the millions of heavy people have an eating disorder, which has the highest mortality rate of any mental health diagnosis, including depression. Binge eating, the most common eating disorder in the United States, affects over twenty-five million people. This diagnosis has received a lot of media attention recently because the American Psychiatric Association is recommending that it be considered a separate, distinct eating disorder, as are bulimia and anorexia.

      Though not all obese individuals are compulsive overeaters, experts believe that about 75 percent of overeating is emotional eating—using food to deal with feelings. Although everyone turns to food for comfort on occasion, such as hot soup or hot chocolate on a cold winter's night, or something sweet to chew on after a fight with your honey, the compulsive overeater turns to food as the primary means of coping with everyday stress, anxiety, and other difficult feelings. We have an emotional hunger. Some of us eat because of an inner emptiness, and some of us become addicted to sugar and refined carbohydrates as a result. “Fast food has become the opiate of the masses,” fitness trainer Chris Powell declared on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. Compulsive eating begins as an attempt to ease emotional pain, but it ends up making us feel even worse.

      As a licensed professional clinical counselor, I have worked with compulsive overeaters and binge eaters for over twenty years. In addition, I, too, am a (recovered) food junkie and spent many years quelling feelings by shoving ice cream or cookies down my throat. Food was the glue that kept me together.

      Some folks with excess weight just eat a bit too much. Emotional eaters like me, however, use food as a fix: I abused food, just as an alcoholic misuses booze, stuffing myself in an attempt to fill an inner emptiness. For many of us, though, there is not enough food on the planet to fill the gaping hole within our souls. I know—I tried.

      During my compulsive overeating days, I spent my time bingeing; hoarding and hiding food; making food my best friend; sneak eating; taking pills to curb my appetite; going to diet doctors; gaining and losing a gazillion pounds; trying different fad diets; hating myself; loathing my body; making and breaking countless self-promises; and feeling helpless and hopeless. I ate frozen food that tasted like cardboard; I finished the food off my children's plates; I retrieved food that had been thrown away; I confiscated my students' candy and ate it myself. I expressed lots of dishonesty around food, masquerading as the supreme dieter in public and experiencing out-of-control bingeing in private.

      My behavior around food was a closely guarded secret for decades. But not anymore. After years of psychotherapy, working the Twelve Steps, and doing focused personal-growth work, I have gained insight and understanding as to why I became an emotional eater at an early age and why compulsive overeating became such a driving force in my life. Fortunately, I have recovered from my binge eating disorder, and the tools I used are presented here. I share my journey candidly so that others may benefit from my experiences.

      Tools

      As I disclose my ordeals with food and out-of-control eating, I am telling the story of millions of others who use food to self-soothe. With the focus on recovery, however, I share the modalities that worked for me, including the spiritual approach I first encountered in support groups using Twelve-Step Recovery. No one method will work for every person, and rest assured that successful use of this book does not depend on adherence to a Twelve-Step Program. I didn't adapt the Alcoholics Anonymous program to my food issues by myself—it's served as a model for many over the years. Overeaters Anonymous (OA), for instance, began in 1960 and uses the same Twelve Steps as AA, substituting the word food for alcohol. It is open to anyone with issues around food, including those with binge eating disorder, bulimia, and anorexia. Other Twelve-Step groups dealing with food issues include Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA), Eating Addictions

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