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Plan B. Karra Barber-Wada
Читать онлайн.Название Plan B
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781941765081
Автор произведения Karra Barber-Wada
Жанр Медицина
Издательство Ingram
Write down the practical steps forward that will assist you in exploring options, taking action, and embracing new responsibilities as a newly single parent of your special-needs child.
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Actual Steps
With all the transitions that occur when a family divides, usually the greatest concern parents have is how the breakup will affect their children.
Providing Continuity: The Smiths’ Story
Brian Smith, now 7, had received a diagnosis of ASD with significant behavioral issues at the age of 4. When Brian’s parents announced their separation and decision to divorce, they anticipated that Brian may have difficulty understanding and accepting the changes in their family. The previous year, Brian had been suspended twice for kicking his aide. The first time, he had a behavioral outburst over an unexpected math quiz, and the second time, he went into sensory overload after a music assembly. He didn’t always react well to change.
Brian also had a 9-year-old sister, Emma. Even though the Smiths knew that the news of their separation could be difficult for the children to understand and accept in the beginning, Mrs Smith was more concerned about how the changes in their family would affect both children over time. First and foremost, the Smiths wanted their children to understand that their decision to divorce had nothing to do with either one of them. To that end, as suggested by their family therapist, Mr and Mrs Smith agreed to have a family meeting to explain to their children some (age-appropriate) practical and logistical details about their divorce.
“My husband and I realized that ‘spelling out’ for the kids when they would be with which parent was imperative. Knowing this in advance really helped them. Our goal was to be as unambiguous as possible about our new schedules and any other future expectations. Because routine was especially important in addressing Brian’s needs, creating visual family schedules and laying out plans were crucial,” Mrs Smith added.
During their separation process, the Smiths consulted with their family therapist regularly. The therapist helped them develop a “game plan” during their time of transition. For example, to make the transition smoother for both children, the therapist suggested that Mr and Mrs Smith inform Brian and Emma’s schoolteachers about their new family circumstances. They also informed Brian’s service providers immediately.
“Initially, I felt embarrassed about telling the school about our family’s business, because I felt it was private. Then, I realized it would eventually become common knowledge anyway,” Mrs Smith confided. “Emma did exhibit some social anxiety at school after my husband and I separated, so I was glad I spoke to her teachers about it ahead of time. Because they knew what was going on, they were understanding with Emma and were able to better address her anxiety at school. I feel it was the right decision to alert her teachers about our family’s changing circumstances,” she said.
As advised by their family therapist, the Smiths filled both of their homes with several of their children’s favorite things—Legos and Transformers toys for Brian and games and books for Emma. Additionally, to address Brian’s special diet and medication requirements, Mr and Mrs Smith provided gluten-free foods and Brian’s special medications in both homes at all times.
“We made some very simple accommodations that were so important for the well-being of both of our children,” said Mr Smith.
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