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      Arlington, Texas 76013

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      E-mail: [email protected]

       www.fhautism.com

      ©2013 Karra Barber-Wada

      All rights reserved.

      Printed in the United States of America.

      No part of this product may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of Future Horizons, Inc, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

      Print book ISBN: 978-1-935274-79-7

      E-book ISBN: 978-1-935274-85-8

      This book is dedicated to my son, Thomas, and to every single parent who is raising a child with special needs. You are one of the noble, courageous, and dedicated—truly an unsung hero of our time.

       Acknowledgments

      Thank you to my editor, Bobbi Sheahan, for your keen insight, encouragement, and guidance during the editing of this book.

      To my husband, Scott, thank you for your unwavering love and continued support in all that I do. And to my son, Thomas, thank you for showing me how to parent you. You are a wonderful teacher.

       Table of Contents

Introduction

Today

CHAPTER 1

       Single-Parenting a Child with Asperger’s Syndrome

       CHAPTER 2

       Co-Parenting Effectively in Two Homes

       CHAPTER 3

       Managing Money as a Single Parent

       CHAPTER 4

       Balancing Life as a Single Parent

       CHAPTER 5

       Preparing Your Child for Adult Life

       In Closing

       Epilogue

       Frequently Asked Questions

       Resources

       About the Author

Introduction

      A large percentage of the parents raising children with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in the U.S. are doing so alone. The fact is, divorce happens, circumstances change, and life goes on. The ability to create a “Plan B” and put it into action is demonstrated over and over again in this book.

      Over the years, I have met and admired many single parents of children with ASD. I’ve respected the love and commitment they’ve shown to their children and marveled at how they too have “survived” the day-to-day challenges of parenting alone. By offering a snippet of my own personal story, along with a compilation of other single-parenting accounts of separation and divorce, I hope to encourage you to recognize that you too can incorporate a new plan of action if you find yourself in a similar situation.

      This book is filled with steps you can implement to establish a new “Plan B” for yourself and your child or children. I’ve broken these steps down into three categories, which will be accompanied by the following helpful graphics throughout the book:

       Emotional steps: Promoting feelings of well-being for you and your child

       Practical steps: Thinking, planning, brainstorming

       Actual steps: Implementing your plan of action

      I’ve also included a wealth of parenting tips to use when you’re faced with taking care of a child with ASD as a single parent. So—let’s discover what developing a “Plan B” is all about.

Today

      When I arrived home tonight, I discovered my son slumped over, asleep at his desk. His glasses rested crookedly on his face. Nearby, I found his laptop open and still humming. Good grief, I thought. I glanced at the clock over his bed. It was 1 AM! How long had he been studying? I wondered. As I scanned his room, I noticed a bunch of balled-up pieces of paper in the trash can by his desk. I picked one up and flattened it out against the desktop. On it was a half-written essay about the comparison between good and evil. His SAT practice book was cracked open to a page on which he had highlighted test questions. What is an auxiliary? What is the perfect participle? What is a hypothesis? There was a collection of vocabulary flash cards scattered across his desk. He must have been reviewing the materials one last time before taking his SAT exam in the morning. He’s come a long way, I told myself.

      And so have I.

      My son Thomas has Asperger’s syndrome. As a toddler, he had limited language skills, obvious processing difficulties, and complex social challenges. Today, you would never know that Thomas understands the concept of a “Plan B” and uses it as a coping mechanism. At age 17, Thomas is a senior at a college preparatory high school. He is awaiting his SAT results and is looking forward to touring colleges and planning for his future. I’m proud of his personal achievements, just as I’m proud to have prepared both him and myself for the unanticipated situations that arise in life.

      Having been a single parent for the past 13 years, I’ve been able to observe Thomas’s progress and reflect on my journey with him and the steps we’ve taken together. Most were wonderful, some were painful, but all have been survivable. Raising Thomas as a single parent has been one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences in my life. Despite the numerous challenges we’ve endured over the years, I am thankful to have learned a lot about myself. Most profoundly, I have learned about my resilience as an individual, my commitment as a parent, and my determination as a child advocate. Raising a child on the autism spectrum by myself has provided me with the opportunity to recognize when and how to implement a “Plan B.”

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