Stresshacking - Louise Lloyd

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colds and aches and pains can all be signs of stress. We seem to have accepted these conditions as part of life without questioning why they are there. We all react differently to stress and part of managing it is in recognizing our own personal signs and symptoms. Our bodies do an amazing job of carrying us through life so it’s time we started listening to and looking after them.

      The body has a way of getting our attention when our mind is ignoring the messages life is trying to give us. I have experienced this a few times myself. The first time I broke my collarbone at a competition was one of those occasions. I knew I had broken it the moment I stood up from the fall. Although I felt no pain whatsoever, I could feel the bone moving. The power of adrenaline is quite incredible as I felt no pain for a day or two; until it finally hit. I was initially frustrated that I couldn’t compete for a few weeks, but then something surfaced that I hadn’t realized was there. I felt totally relieved that I had a genuine reason to rest. That I could give myself permission to back off. I didn’t know I felt such pressure until that moment, but clearly I did. That fall gave me a wake-up call. It made me reflect on why I needed something as extreme as breaking a bone to give myself permission to rest. If you can relate to that then please don’t wait until your body literally forces you to stop. You will achieve far more in life if you look after yourself.

      Another occasion that my body was trying to tell me something was when I was teaching yoga. I was a freelance teacher in various organizations, one of which was a yoga centre. It became apparent to me that this particular centre’s owners and I did not have the same values. I started to feel uncomfortable teaching there, and though I tried to resolve matters with the owners, it became apparent that things wouldn’t change. As I became increasingly frustrated, my body took over the situation. On days that I was due to teach at the centre, I would get up in the morning and have completely lost my voice. Like, no voice at all; not even a squeak. The next day, when due to teach somewhere else, I would get up and my voice would have returned. This pattern continued until I acknowledged it and quit teaching at the centre. Dis-ease in our mind, thoughts or emotions shows in our body and will often miraculously heal the minute we address the cause of disharmony.

      Are you aware of times when your body is trying to tell you something? What needs addressing?

       Soothing the symptoms

      Aches, pains and illness are a call for love and care. If your back is aching, it is asking for a massage, some yoga, attention to your posture, to notice what burden you feel in life or maybe to seek expert advice. If you keep getting headaches, they are asking you to notice what mental strain you are under, perhaps your neck and shoulders need attention, or you need to drink more water or get your eyes checked. Maybe you need to see the GP. If you keep getting a bloated stomach, it’s a call to check what you are eating and to reflect on what it is in life that you are struggling to digest. If you get out of breath going upstairs, the body is asking you to get fitter, to notice what’s suffocating you in life, and to breathe some fresh air into your lungs and some energy and zing into your daily life.

      Every symptom in the body is a call to love and care. Every. Single. One.

       # The hack

      Listen to your body. What is it trying to tell you when it is aching, hurting or not feeling well? What does it need? What do you need? Every action you take to look after your body is worth it… however small. Every action you take to address the physical symptoms of stress is worth it… however small.

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      I know it sounds obvious to say this, but if you want to reduce your stress then you need to address the cause of it. You’d think it was a given. But we don’t always do that. What we often do is feel powerless and do nothing about it at all. We might manage the symptoms of stress but often only when they get in the way of us ‘carrying on as normal’.

      So let me ask you: what have you done to resolve the cause of your stress?

      Some causes of stress don’t have an easy fix and require a longer-term approach. If you tend to be a worrier, for example, you might feel it is ‘just who you are’ and that it won’t change. But it can change. You can change. You just haven’t found the right approach yet. I have worked with many people to enable them to drop their worry tendencies. Given the right tools and determination, things can improve. You first need to decide that you want to do something about it. Nothing will change if you aren’t actively trying to address it.

       Solution minded

      Whenever you face a problem, stress or a challenge, ask yourself if your focus is on finding a solution. Ironically, many people get so wrapped up in thinking that the situation shouldn’t be as it is that they forget to actually try to do anything about it.

      So, having identified the cause of your stress, ask yourself these questions…

      1. What needs to change?

      2. What’s in my control? What isn’t?

      3. What outcome do I want?

      4. What do I need to help me?

      5. Who do I need to speak to about this?

      6. What next step do I need to take?

       Symptom or cause?

      Sometimes, on the surface, a symptom can appear to be the cause of a problem when it isn’t. Drinking too much alcohol or overeating, for example, may cause problems and create a negative cycle of events, but they are symptoms rather than the root cause. The question is: what drives that behaviour? That is the cause. That’s what needs addressing. If you just try to use willpower to stop overeating without addressing the reason you are doing it, you will likely stay trapped in the cycle of it. If you feel a lack of self-worth, you will keep creating situations in your life that confirm that to you, until you address your lack of self-worth.

      Lasting solutions require hacking the root cause, rather like pulling up the roots of a weed rather than just trimming the leaves. Both the symptoms and the cause of them need addressing. I know that’s obvious but it still needs saying.

      Are you addressing your symptoms or the cause of them?

       Responding to the cause of stress

      I know that sometimes the cause of stress might be a situation that is out of your control. While that can be difficult, let it be a clear message to you to turn your focus to the bit you can control – your response to the situation that is out of your control. If you can’t change the situation you face, you have to change the way you face it. Equip yourself to meet it, as best you can. This entire book is about helping you to do that.

      Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, says that we always have a choice as to how we respond to any given situation that is causing us a problem.3 Firstly, is there anything we ourselves can actively do to change it? If there isn’t then, secondly, can we accept the situation as it is? We don’t have to like it or agree with it but we can accept that it is as it is and that it can’t change. Thirdly, if we can’t change it and we can’t accept it, could we remove ourselves from the situation entirely? Failing to actively choose one of these responses keeps us in a loop of frustration and moves us no nearer to a solution. Not all options are possible for every situation but acknowledging that we are choosing one of them enables us to take control of our response to life.

      So, under the wise advice of Eckhart Tolle, ask yourself which of these three choices you are making in your response to the cause of your stress. Can you change it? Do you need to accept it? Or could you remove yourself from it?

       # The hack

      Ask yourself the following:

       What is the cause of your stress and what are the symptoms of it? Are you addressing both?

       What can you do about it?

       What

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