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Interior Castle. Teresa of Avila
Читать онлайн.Название Interior Castle
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781681922874
Автор произведения Teresa of Avila
Жанр Словари
Издательство Ingram
6. Do not think lightly, sisters, of this first grace, nor be downcast if you have not responded immediately to our Lord’s voice, for His Majesty is willing to wait for us many a day and even many a year, especially when He sees perseverance and good desires in our hearts. Perseverance is the first essential; with this we are sure to profit greatly. However, the devils now fiercely assault the soul in a thousand different ways: it suffers more than ever, because formerly it was mute and deaf, or at least could hear very little, and offered but feeble resistance, like one who has almost lost all hope of victory.
7. Here, however, the understanding being more vigilant and the powers more on the alert, we cannot avoid hearing the fighting and cannonading around us. For now the devils set on us the reptiles, that is to say, thoughts about the world and its joys which they picture as unending; they remind us of the high esteem men held us in, of our friends and relations; they tell us how the penances which souls in this mansion always begin to wish to perform would injure our health: in sum, the evil spirits place a thousand impediments in the way.
8. O Jesus! What turmoil the devils cause in the poor soul! How unhappy it feels, not knowing whether to go forward or to return to the first mansion! On the other hand, reason shows it the delusion of overrating worldly things, while faith teaches what alone can satisfy its cravings. Memory reminds the soul how all earthly joys end, recalling the death of those who lived at ease; how some died suddenly and were soon forgotten, how others, once so prosperous, are now buried beneath the ground and men pass by the graves where they lie, the prey of worms,13 while the mind recalls many other such incidents.
9. The will inclines to love our Lord and longs to make some return to Him Who is so amiable, and Who has given so many proofs of His love, especially by His constant presence with the soul, which this faithful Lover never fails, ever accompanying it and giving it life and being. The understanding aids by showing that however many years life might last, no one could ever wish for a better friend than God; that the world is full of falsehood, and that the worldly pleasures pictured by the devil to the mind were but troubles and cares and annoyances in disguise.
10. Reason convinces the soul that as outside its interior castle are found neither peace nor security, it should cease to seek another home abroad, its own being full of riches that it can enjoy at will. Besides, it is not everyone who, like itself, possesses all he needs within his own dwelling, and above all, such a Host, Who will give it all it can desire, unless, like the prodigal son, it chooses to go astray and feed with the swine (Lk 15:16). Surely these arguments are strong enough to defeat the devil’s tricks! But, O my God, how the force of worldly habits and the example of others who practice them ruin everything! Our faith is so dead that we trust less to its teaching than to what is visible, though, indeed, we see that worldly lives bring nothing but unhappiness. All this results from those venomous thoughts I described, which, unless we are very careful, will deform the soul as the sting of a viper poisons and swells the body.
11. When this happens, great care is evidently needed to cure it, and only God’s signal mercy prevents its resulting in death. Indeed, the soul passes through severe trials at this time, especially when the devil perceives from a person’s character and behavior that she is likely to make very great progress, for then all hell will league together to force her to turn back. O my Lord! what need there is here that, by Your mercy, You should prevent the soul from being deluded into forsaking the good begun! Enlighten it to see that its welfare consists in perseverance in the right way, and in the withdrawing from bad company.
12. It is of the utmost importance for the beginner to associate with those who lead a spiritual life, and not only with those in the same mansion as herself, but with others who have traveled farther into the castle, who will aid her greatly and draw her to join them. The soul should firmly resolve never to submit to defeat, for if the devil sees it staunchly determined to lose life and comfort and all that he can offer, rather than return to the first mansion, he will the sooner leave it alone.
13. Let the Christian be valiant; let him not be like those who lay down to drink from the brook when they went to battle (I do not remember when).14 Let him resolve to go forth to combat with the host of demons, and be convinced that there is no better weapon than the Cross. I have already said, yet it is of such importance that I repeat it here: let no one think on starting of the reward to be reaped: this would be a very dishonorable way of commencing such a large and stately building. If built on sand it would soon fall down (Mt 7:26, 27). Souls who acted thus would continually suffer from discouragement and temptations, for in these mansions no manna rains;15 farther on, the soul is pleased with all that comes, because it desires nothing but what God wills.
14. What a farce it is! Here are we, with a thousand obstacles, drawbacks, and imperfections within ourselves, our virtues so newly born that they have scarcely the strength to act (and God grant that they exist at all!) yet we are not ashamed to expect sweetness in prayer and to complain of feeling dryness.
15. Do not act thus, sisters; embrace the Cross your Spouse bore on His shoulders; know that your motto should be: Most happy is she who suffers most if it be for Christ! All else should be looked upon as secondary: if our Lord gives it to you, render Him grateful thanks. You may imagine you would be resolute in enduring external trials if God gave you interior consolations: His Majesty knows best what is good for us; it is not for us to advise Him how to treat us, for He has the right to tell us that we know not what we ask (Mt 20:22). Remember, it is of the greatest importance — the sole aim of one beginning to practice prayer should be to endure trials, and to resolve and strive to the utmost of her power to conform her own will to the will of God. Be certain that in this consists all the greatest perfection to be attained in the spiritual life, as I will explain later. She who practices this most perfectly will receive from God the highest reward and is the farthest advanced on the right road. Do not imagine that we have need of a cabalistic formula or any other occult or mysterious thing to attain it our whole welfare consists in doing the will of God. If we start with the false principle of wishing God to follow our will and to lead us in the way we think best, upon what firm foundation can this spiritual edifice rest?
16. Let us endeavor to do our best: beware of the poisonous reptiles — that is to say, the bad thoughts and spots of dryness which are often permitted by God to assail and torment us so that we cannot repel them. Indeed, perchance we feel their sting! He allows this to teach us to be more on our guard in the future and to see whether we grieve much at offending Him. Therefore if you occasionally lapse into sin, do not lose heart and cease trying to advance, for God will draw good even out of our falls, like the merchant who sells theriac, who first takes poison, then the antidote, to prove the power of his elixir.16 This combat would suffice to teach us to amend our habits if we realized our failings in no other way, and would show us the injury we receive from a life of dissipation. Can any evil be greater than that we find at home? What peace can we hope to find elsewhere, if we have none within us? What friends or relations can be so close and intimate as the powers of our soul, which, whether we will or not, must ever bear us company? These seem to wage war on us as if they knew the harm our vices had wrought them. Peace, peace be unto you, my sisters, as our Lord said, and many a time proclaimed to His Apostles (cf. Lk 24:36; Jn 20:19). Believe me, if we neither possess nor strive to obtain this peace at home, we shall never find it abroad.
17. By the blood which our Lord shed for us, I implore those who have not yet begun to enter into themselves, to stop this warfare: I beg those already started in the right path, not to let the combat turn them back from it. Let them reflect that a relapse is worse than a fall, and see what ruin it would bring. They should confide in God’s mercy, trusting nothing in themselves; then they will see how His Majesty will lead them from one mansion to another, and will set them in a place where these wild beasts can no more touch or annoy them, but will be entirely at their mercy and merely objects of ridicule. Then, even in this life, they will enjoy a far greater happiness than they are able even to desire.
18. As I said at the beginning of this work, I have explained elsewhere how you should behave when the devil thus disturbs you. I also told you that the habit of recollection is not to be gained by force of arms, but with calmness, which will