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your baby sit up properly, as well as lie down? New babies should lie down all the time, because of the weak neck problem, but after a few months they will love sitting up a bit and looking at the world whizzing by. Then, when it’s time for a nap, you can just lie them flat again.

      

Can your baby face forwards or backwards? This, for me, is one of the most important factors. All my babies have faced me (i.e. backwards) when I pushed them in the pram, because that way they could see me, I could talk to them and point things out, and I could also see whether they were being strangled by some loose strap or other more easily. I am also convinced that all the talking, smiling and singing you can do with your baby facing you can dramatically improve how fast they learn things. And if they’ve just been sick out of the corner of their mouth you will notice before anyone can tut-tut you.

      

Can it have a buggy board attached to it? This ride-on platform will be indispensable once you have another baby (which you might, despite it seeming like a ridiculous notion right now).

      And, finally, if it ticks all of these boxes, ask yourself one last question:

      

Is it stylish enough for me? Your baby’s pram will become like a fifth limb to you, so if it doesn’t make you proud, don’t get it. Get one you like—the baby doesn’t care.

       3. Buggy

      A pram and a buggy? Isn’t this a little unnecessary? Not at all: prams are big, heavy and cumbersome; buggies are small, light, fold-down-in-a-flash-able, portable and absolutely essential. For day trips, quick hops to the shops, and travelling abroad, a good buggy is the piece of gear you’ll need. NB: babies can only go in a buggy once they can sit up properly. Otherwise they just slide down into a heap at the bottom and you’ll be picked up by Social Services. Not glam at all.

       4. Raincover and sunshade

      Ooooh, don’t get me started on these. I hate raincovers. They are ridiculously expensive, they never fit on properly, they rip, they snap, they stick out so far that you’ll clear supermarket shelves as you go down the aisles, and, most annoyingly, they are essential. I think it’s called being caught between a rock and a hard place—wet baby or infuriating rain cover?

      NB: there are loads of different models available, so make sure you get one which fits your pram or buggy, and don’t take the shop assistant’s word for it. Get her to fit it right there in the shop, and watch her struggle to get the damned thing on. If you’re not sure, find a different model. Good luck.

      I have no such murderous thoughts about sunshades, but I would complain that they are very drab. Where are the beautiful, stylish sunshades out there? If you can get one where the sunshade is detachable from the bit which screws on to the top the pram, then do: it’ll save a lot of time screwing and unscrewing.

       5. Moses basket

      I was sure we didn’t need one of these, partly because the name is as unappealing as the object itself, and partly because I didn’t see what was wrong with letting my baby sleep in the top half of the pram for a while. Or a large cardboard box—it’s not as though the baby will notice. Having bought the least hideous one I could find, I was very glad I did: much more comfortable (and socially acceptable) for the baby, and it was even quite cute. However, I would never leave my baby in a Moses basket in a stand: a disaster waiting to happen, surely? The floor is the best place, preferably right next to your bed to start off with, so that you can just finish a feed, turn over and pop your baby back in again.

       6. Cot and travel cot

      Not much to say here, except that the top bar should be high enough to stop a nine-month-old baby from nose-diving onto the floor. Choosing a cot bed is quite cunning, because you will be able to squeeze a good few years out of it. Just using a travel cot is a bad idea, because they are less sturdy, they often have fabric sides which rustle if your baby wriggles against them, and they look fairly hideous. Get a nice wooden one, and sit back and admire. We swore we didn’t really need a travel cot (did we think we needed anything, in fact?) but it has come in useful on hundreds of holidays and weekends with friends.

       7. Mattresses, sheets, blankets

      For some weird reason we are happy to spend a fortune looking after our own backs and necks, but make do with a horrible synthetic-foam mattress with a plastic cover for our babies. Considering how much time they spend on it, this is pretty mean, not to mention unhealthy. Get a supportive, breathable mattress made from natural fibres if possible (The Natural Mat Company is a great place to start looking) for your baby’s cot, and find sheets which actually fit. There seem to be a million different cot shapes and sizes, and buying a ‘standard’ sheet size never worked for me. Or maybe I’m just hopeless at making a mini bed.

      NB: Don’t put your baby under a duvet for at least six months. They wriggle around all over the place, and will end up kicking the duvet over their head and suffocating. Stick to blankets or a baby sleeping bag, and if it’s cold then put an extra layer of clothing on the baby, rather than in the cot.

       8. Baby gym

      Excellent, excellent investment. No sweat or Lycra involved here, just some bright, shiny objects which dangle above your baby’s head as she lies on a mat. There are loads of different types, but my favourites were the soft ones which fold up—you can take them away with you and ensure a happy, occupied baby while you’re on holiday or visiting relatives.

       9. Bouncy chair

      Bouncy chairs allow for more stretching and bouncing than car seats, which babies like. Until your baby can sit up unaided, a bouncy chair is the only way you will be able to go to the loo, wash your hair, or do anything else which requires two hands.

       10. Non-slip rubber bath mat

      Cheap, not very pretty, but very useful—it makes bath-time less like trying to catch an eel in a Jacuzzi.

       11. Changing mat

      Always far too flouncy and unattractive, but as they’re going to have a fair amount of poo and other nasties wiped on them, I don’t suppose it really matters. The most important thing is that it’s long enough—you don’t want your baby to have outgrown it within four months, and have her bottom resting on the carpet.

       12. Cupboard and drawers

      Junior fashionistas have a ridiculous amount of clothing considering how little there is to actually clothe. The wardrobe I started out with was woefully too small, and I upgraded within three months to something much bigger. Twenty babygros, ten snow-suits (because everybody will give you one), hundreds of socks and unworn baby shoes, and all the clothes your baby is yet to grow into have to go somewhere, and anything smaller than a full-sized armoire with five drawers is too small.

       13. High chair

      Not for at least six months, if not more, but at some stage within the first year you will need something better than a bouncy chair for feeding your growing baby. A high chair should be the opposite of your desired body shape: think sturdy, chunky and practical. Those tall ones with long, skinny legs terrify me—my babies would topple those over in three seconds during a particularly lively feeding session. Ours converts into a table and chair, which will be very useful just as soon as we can stop producing yet more babies who need it as a high chair. My daughter is still waiting for a desk…

       14. Muslin squares

      When my first college friend joined me in Yummy Mummyhood, I remember giving her a box of beautifully wrapped muslin squares—they were the most useful

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