The Yummy Mummy’s Survival Guide - Liz Fraser

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FOUR Nearing the End

      The third trimester (aka ‘the last lap’) can feel disproportionately long. It’s a bit like standing in the Co-op behind an old lady who wants to buy a half-bottle of Vodka with an out-of-date cheque book, when all you need is a pint of milk and this month’s InStyle, and you’ve parked outside illegally.

      With only a couple of months left, the time for burying your head in the sand is well and truly over, and things are hotting up on all fronts. If you looked at yourself in the mirror at 24 weeks, and swore you wouldn’t/couldn’t get any bigger, this last stage will come as quite a shock. You are about to get very, very big indeed, and it’s time to start getting organised for take-off. It’s an uncomfortable, exciting, frustrating and nervous stage, and the only way to survive it is to keep busy.

      More Physical Changes (nearly there though…)

      Never wishing you to become bored, or too comfortable, your body saves a few surprises for the last month or two. Cheers, love.

       Is There a Loo Around Here?

      In the last month your baby presses down on your bladder quite hard, so you will need the loo constantly. Added to this is the fact that you feel you need to drink lots to keep hydrated and avoid getting piles, so it’s not uncommon to have to wee more than once an hour. And when you have to go, you have to go NOW.

       Backache

      A big stomach means a sore back. Mostly this is your lower back, as the baby weighs down so heavily there, and maintaining a good posture is critical now. Backache can be very bad during the night towards the end, and upping the number of Johnny Depps between your legs to two, or even three, can help.

       I Can’t Get Comfortable

      Nope. And you won’t until Junior is out. Lying on your back for long periods is, as you now know, not a good idea. Lying on your stomach became impossible months ago, standing hurts your back, and sitting down squashes the baby into your rib cage so you can’t breathe or eat anything. The best positions for me were perching on a high stool, and lying on my side with pillows in position. It is a tough time, but you’re nearly there now…

       Twinges and Cramps

      These can be really painful and also terribly embarrassing: there is no subtle or ladylike way of relieving cramp in your groin when you are in the middle of Selfridges. Leg cramps and twinges in your back, abdomen and groin ligaments happen a lot now, but unless they are painful and prolonged they are probably just caused by your baby getting big and heavy. Moving around as much as you can helps, as does gentle stretching every few hours.

       Haemorrhoids

      Don’t panic: I never got any. Promise. If you do, drink more water and up your fibre and fresh fruit intake to keep things, errr, moving more easily.

       Stretch Marks

      Just when you thought you’d made it they can pop up like a bad zit before a party. Keep going on the oils every night, and pray for a lucky miss.

       Burping and Farting

      This is so much fun, because you can fart as much as you like, and blame it on the baby. Seriously, it’s really common to get somewhat gassy towards the end, so if you have to be in an enclosed space with somebody for a long time, then sit near the window or be prepared for some funny looks. It was around this stage that my two-year-old learned to say “Whodunnafart?” It was always Mummy.

       Braxton Hicks contractions

      These have been going on since the middle of your pregnancy, but you may start to notice them a lot towards the end. Your body is just doing lots of dummy runs for what a proper contraction should be like, so it makes your uterus tighten for 30-60 seconds every so often. Your abdomen may feel harder, and it may hurt a little, or you may hardly notice it at all. If I sound a bit vague, it’s because I have to: every woman has her own experience of Braxton Hicks contractions and there are no hard and fast rules. Oh, except these: if you have any vaginal bleeding or leak water, and if, before your 37th week, the tightenings are accompanied by lower back pain, come at more than three per hour or seem to be very regular, call your midwife. You may be in premature labour. Them’s the rules, girls.

       What To Buy Now

       Baby Clobber

      Considering how tiny they are, babies need a head-spinning amount of clobber. If you are ever accused of owning too much ‘stuff’, then point your longest manicured digit at the youngest consumer in your family and plead innocence: next to your baby, you look positively frugal.

      I say babies need a lot of clobber, but it’s probably more a case of ‘are expected to have’ a lot these days. When your grandmother was a baby, she probably made do with some swaddling clothes and an old rag doll, and was much better off for it. But these are ‘these days’, and Yummy Mummies can choose from a baffling array of equipment, toys and aids to make their babies happier, comfier and more stimulated, and their own lives much easier.

      Here are some essentials:

       1. Car seat

      The only legally required bit of kit. Newborns’ car seats need to be rear-facing because babies’ necks aren’t yet strong enough to withstand any force. Some come as part of a three-in-one system, which means you can lift the car seat straight onto your pram chassis and off you go. Don’t scrimp on a car seat: get a good new one.

       2. Pram

      Probably your biggest investment, and worth every penny. The best advice I can give is push them around the shop and see how they handle. Things to look out for include:

      

Swivel wheels or fixed? I’m a fixed girl—give me swivel wheels and I’m like a drunk ice-skater.

      

Suspension. Will it withstand bumping up and down kerbs and over potholes? Will your baby get whiplash between your front door and the end of the road?

      

Space. Does it have enough underneath for piling all your shopping into? Remember that your shopping list will quadruple the minute you become a Mum: nappies, wipes, baby-food jars, nipple cream, gin…you need a lot of room under there, and that’s before you have piled in the baby’s changing bag, some toys, your handbag and last week’s Sunday supplements, just in case you get a moment to yourself.

      

Handle height. Will it break Very Tall Daddy’s back when he pushes it?

      

Folding and dismantling. If you are likely to do a lot of travelling, then getting a pram which comes apart easily, or better still just folds away in one piece, is essential. We have wasted hours at airports removing the top half from the chassis and putting it back together again.

      

Size. Does it fit in the back of your car? You’ll feel so stupid (and cross) if it doesn’t.

      

Lining. Does it come out and can it be washed?

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