LITMIR.BIZ

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returned to the family, but still he had no joy or good mood. He worked much so that at any cost to build the house till winter. At that time, my mother was already pregnant with me.

      He didn’t contact to dicks of the family in any way. Once to the house under construction came several his relatives, who being alone didn’t dare to tell him any bad word, and all together they got brave and began to tease him. So, till the end of the August daily they provoked and swore at him. They spoke to him as if they at his place they have finished this drama long time ago killing both sisters, and sons – in – law, without allowing them to dispose in his family economy while he lives as the last poor.

      Under influence of this punishments and quarrels father began to drink again. And he began again to hit my mother without any reason. Conflicts with relatives led to the fact that he became nervous and irritable. Mother didn’t hear from him any kind word.

      The destiny reduced him in one market day with his own sister and son – in – law. Under the influence of constant quarrels with relatives, in him the blood began to boil and he attacked the sister’s husband. There was a fight. All thought that he will break off sister’s husband barehanded. It is unknown from where the police appeared and by means of several volunteers pulled out the son – in – law from his arms. Policemen took indications from several witnesses, and at once sent father to prison.

      Next day he was brought to the judge. He was threatened by imprisonment for few months, but the judge has released him with an explanation that the son – in – law has given evidences that he is guilty and my father should be released. He was released out of prison with such chagrin in soul that it seemed to him: lick him a devil – will get poisoned. After such act of the son – in – law father has decided not to revenge him anymore, but he has made one more, pernicious decision: he will drink and thus he will kill himself.

      From this day, he drank every day. He was often drunk. Having slightly sobered, mother tried to bring to reason him, and he then beat her. As if all his hatred and demon, which he felt for his sisters, was poured on her. It was not just a slap in the face any more, but beatings which couldn’t be taken out. And then, at the end of October, when she was at seventh month gone, father has decided to bring mother to her uncle, my granduncle, and there to leave her to give birth. He wants to bring up my brothers and sisters. She resisted, but without a result. Someone has hammered to him into his head that all sisters have married Albanians because of the fact that he married her. Even if she was by birth a Montenegrin.

      Early in the morning at three o’clock after midnight or at dawn, at the end of October they have gone to Montenegro. Day earlier weather was solar and quiet. Father expected that the next day will be the same. However, in mountains you can never be sure which weather will be there. At first, they walked, and after several kilometers, because of the fact that mother was pregnant and couldn’t sustain long to go, father has put her on a horse and has continued the way. The time passed and they moved away from the house further and approached to the mountain Chakor. From there to the grandfather’s house there were thirteen kilometers, but the road goes down and it’s easier and quicker to go. It is difficult to orient precisely, but somewhere for one kilometer to Chakor, snow has begun to fall. At first small, and then is stronger and stronger. It was very heavy to move in such conditions, but they continued to go. Father didn’t fill cold walking near the horse, and mother sitting astride felt cold, so her teeth knocked from cold.

      For couple of kilometers from the house, grandfather met them and incurred with him a blanket to cover and warm mother. Covered and they continued the way to the house. Grandfather felt the torments which were tearing apart soul of my father and didn’t want to provoke him by conversation. He began to talk and my grandfather tried to influence on fathers’ consciousness. But he couldn’t explain whether because of snow, whether because of the shown pain which had at mother or a high dose of bitterness at heart of father, but he didn’t manage to reach the desirable. He thought that when they will enter the house and will sit down to have a rest, without problems he will manage to control acts of father and to give commands to his consciousness. Grandfather didn’t want to reproach him for this receipt and that weren’t silent so far go, he began to ask about the house, cattle and other insignificant things. Father answered with a great effort. At the end of the way grandfather asked him:

      “Sonny, what poisoned you so much? Why do you poison your soul of the family’s’ soul? I want, sonny, to help you, to pull out bitterness from your hurt and to cure your wounded soul”.

      This conversation began for couple of hundreds of meters from the house. Grandfather expected to punch soft words armor of his suffering. But father overflowed with bitterness didn’t hear his words and began to argue. Little by little and altercations, because of roughness of father, it developed into a quarrel. Grandfather didn’t participate in it. He listened to his shouts and so they reached the house.

      There grandmother, aunt and the uncle came out to try to lower a frozen body of my mother from a horse and to bring in the house with common efforts. The grandfather was quiet all the time, trying to comfort the father who without ceasing shouted and accused each of them. For a moment, he didn’t want to accuse himself.

      While mother was removed from a horse, he jumped on it. Grandfather grabbed reins, without allowing to go away. Hoping that he will only enter under the rooftop, he will manage to influence consciousness of father and thus to help him. And if once he helps, he knew, he will be able to help him to recover finally. Meanwhile, father pulled reins, the horse jumped, and nothing remained to grandfather as soon as to release it. He tried to direct his will to the horse, only it didn’t turn out because of pain which felt his niece. Father went back though snow was already to a stomach of the horse.

      In the house all were lost. Mother was almost unconscious. Change of temperature so influenced her that she hardly breathed. Grandfather entered and ordered to open all windows. Cold air filled the room. On the furnace water was already heated. He filled with warm water several bottles and delivered to the mother’s body covered with several blankets. He prepared bottles with warmer water and each fifteen – twenty minutes changed on more and more warm while the room was filled with fresh mountain air. Thus, it was easy for her to breathe and not to faint. Only in two hours of continuous fight for life, my mother calmed down and began to breathe regularly. She fell asleep. Grandfather ordered to warm up more hot water. When mother wakes up – childbirth will begin. Fight for her life continued.

      All knew that he doesn’t tell senseless words, but nobody, except him, knew how hard will be the fight for mother survival.

      In half an hour, an acute pain awakened her. She cried. As suddenly pain developed, so suddenly disappeared. Fifteen minutes later she still cried harder and more piercingly. As if someone stuck a knife into a stomach. Shrill pains were in increasing frequently, and at the end she began to faint. At that moment grandfather strongly pressed a stomach and she stridently screeched and here from her crotch children’s crying was heard. Grandfather cut an umbilical cord. I was put in an improvised bed and again switched all attention to mother. Nobody paid attention and disturbed by my crying. Grandfather lowered hands on my mother and worked hard to help her. Possibly, her brain couldn’t sustain more tension caused by an excommunication from children, accusations that she is guilty of a marriage of fathers’ sisters.

      As people say “something broke in her”. She felt in similarity of a coma. She heard everything, understood what is told, but couldn’t tell a word. This condition was extended for ten days. And at this time when I cried, I was given the diluted goat milk.

      As I was told later grandfather took me on hands and told:

      “Will live, my Parapanats[15]”.

      Later he called me Parapanats. Grandfather used all his salutary power and mother became much better soon. When everything calmed down, he paid attention to some trifles which noticed that day when the father brought mother to him. It happened to him, because of the falling snow, or because of pain which felt at that moment mother. Grandfather couldn’t direct the impact to consciousness of father, and later and to the horse. Now the time has been come to engage in the solution of this problem. He left the house and began to train. Cold didn’t prevent him to achieve desirable result. At last he

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