LITMIR.BIZ

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need some reinforcement. Try these:

       An aquarium. The bubbles, the graceful fish, the hum of the heater, the lights and shadows – the slowly changing patterns all built into this cute container are mesmerizing. They will calm toddlers and eventually bore them to sleep.

       White noise machines. A favourite of adults, these bedside sound machines allow you to choose various monotonous sounds, such as a bubbling brook, ocean waves, rainfall, and melodious chants, that soothe young and old into sleep. (See “More Sounds to Sleep By”, page).

       An air filter. A HEPA air filter not only rids the bedroom air of dust, allergens, and other nose stuffing and night waking irritants, but also produces white noise that blocks out other sounds that may awaken a light sleeper.

       A dimmer switch. Gradually dimming the lights will help ease your toddler into sleep. See if you can find a dimmer that can be operated with a remote control. Or put a dimmer on the reading lamp next to the bed.

       4. Enjoy a variety of bedtime rituals

      Bedtime rituals are all the things you do consistently, every night, starting a half hour to an hour before tired time. Bedtime rituals help the busy toddler wind down and make the transition from an exciting and active evening to the quietness and relative boredom of sleep.

      You can’t force a child to sleep, but you can create a quiet, soothing environment that allows sleep to overcome the child. Avoid stimulating activities, such as wrestling or running around the house for a while before bedtime. Save exciting activities that rev up a child’s mind and body for late afternoon. Children need a buffer zone between a busy day and bedtime. Quiet activities and a regular bedtime routine can help kids make the transition from awake time to sleepy time.

      Bedtime routines don’t have to be exactly the same from night to night. Toddlers enjoy novelty. Bedtime with Mum may be different from bedtime with Dad, but that’s good.

      Even children who are very tired may not be willing to give up and go to bed. They don’t want to be separated from you or miss anything interesting. This is why bedtime rituals need to be creative and include quality time with parents. Bedtime routines should be interesting and special, even as they wind children down from an active day.

      Ritual tips. Different babies enjoy different rituals at different ages. Be flexible. What works one month may not necessarily work the next. Here are some tried and true favourites:

       The Bedtime B’s: bath, bottle or breastfeeding, backrub, book, and clean bottom (if bath time revs up your child, bathe her during the day).

       Strolling through the house with baby in a sling (see “wearing down”, page).

       Reading a poem or singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.

       Saying goodnight to everyone: toddlers love long goodnight lists: “Good night, toys, good night, pets, good night, Mummy, good night, Granddaddy”, etc.

       The bath and favourite, calming book combination.

       Back rubs. Give your child a massage and gradually lighten your touch as your child drifts off to sleep. Or “plant a garden” on your child’s back using different touches for the different kinds of seeds your child asks to plant. Gradually lighten your strokes as you smooth out the soil.

       Listen to music and hum or sing along. Choose quiet, gentle songs, not get-up-and-dance-along music. You may find that playing or singing one special song becomes part of your settling-down-to-sleep routine.

       Your child may fall asleep more easily if there is quiet background activity in the household instead of complete quiet. A little bit of noise reassures her that you are close by.

       Feeding to sleep – a perennial favourite.

       I’d save all my phone calls and return them when I knew my toddler was ready for sleep. Toddlers always want to feed when you’re on the phone, so take advantage of that and let the quiet ebb and flow of your voice lull baby right to sleep.

      Signing off. The bedtime ritual that worked best for us with our toddler, Matthew, who had a hard time winding down and leaving the excitement of daytime activities, was one we called “signing off”. When it was near his bedtime, we made the rounds: “Say night-night to the toys, night-night to Mummy, night-night to Princess (the cat), night-night to Honey Bee (the dog).” As we walked upstairs, we said night-night to the relatives in the photos on the wall, and night-night to whatever else we encountered between the family room and the bedroom. When we finally arrived in the bedroom, we completed the wind-down ritual by saying night-night to the toys and pictures on the wall. This slow signing off seems to help children who are so engrossed in their play that they have a hard time transitioning into bedtime.

      The fish story. When Matthew was three, an evening of exciting activity often meant that he would have a hard time falling asleep. So after he had climbed in bed, I would tell him a “fish story”. It was not an exciting tale about the one that got away. Instead, it went like this: “When I was a young boy, I used to go fishing … and I would catch one fish, two fish, three fish …” With each fish my voice got lower and slower. Some nights it was a ten-fish story, other nights I caught twenty fish before Matthew was peacefully asleep. Basically, I was boring him to sleep.

      Before bed prayers. Nighttime prayers are a way to share your faith with your child. We have always felt that the words children hear as they drift off to sleep are imprinted more deeply in their minds than words spoken during the day. You can say the same prayer every night, either a traditional child’s prayer or one you make up in your family, or use a basic prayer with variations based on the child’s day (“Thank you, God, for …”) This prayer is likely to stay in your child’s memory for the rest of his life.

       5. Respond to sleepy signs

      Throughout this book, we have urged you to respond to signs that your baby is tired. Toddlers, like babies, go to sleep more easily when they are feeling sleepy. Watch for signs that your child is tired and ready to wind down and go to sleep:

       Activity slows, lies on floor, rubs eyes, yawns (younger toddler)

       Activity picks up – to fend off the send off (older, wiser toddler)

       Picks up cuddly and ambles toward bedroom (fairy tale toddler)

      If you wait to start your ritual until after tired signs begin, you’ll miss this window of opportunity. For some toddlers, preparations for going to sleep can wind them up. If you wait until he’s tired to start getting ready for bed, he may be all charged up again by the time he’s clean, dry, and in pyjamas. Bathe him, brush his teeth, put his pyjamas on and get him all ready for bed before the usual time the drowsy signs occur. Let your child become drowsy while you do the quiet part of your ritual like stories, massages, and snuggling.

      Rather than do the whole ritual thing, we simply did quiet things until our toddler gave off tired signals. If she wasn’t in pyjamas, no big deal. I’d feed her to sleep and that was it. As long as clothes are clean and comfortable anything can be “pyjamas”. Tooth brushing can be whenever, too. And if you get caught by tired time and the clothes are dirty, change them once baby is out. Do the main thing, feed off to sleep when the window opens or it will close while you’re fiddling around with toothbrushes and outfits.

       6. Enjoy bedtime stories

A story tops off the day, like dessert at the end of a meal. Reading to your child is an important part of nighttime parenting, one that most parents enjoy most of the time. (There may be one or two stories that your child absolutely loves that you might get a little tired of.) If you treasure the time you spend reading bedtime stories, you will radiate patience and relaxation as you read them. If your child senses you are tense and just trying to get to the last page

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