Скачать книгу

glad that we agree so entirely about him. Now there's nothing left but to call the young things in, join their hands and give them our united blessing.

Admiral

      Before I consent to this marriage, madam, I'll see your brother —

Lady Frederick

      Damned?

Admiral

      Yes, madam, damned.

Lady Frederick

      Now listen to me quietly, will you?

Admiral

      I should warn you, Lady Frederick, that when I once make up my mind about a thing, I never change it.

Lady Frederick

      Now that is what I really admire. I like a man of character. You know, I've always been impressed by your strength and determination.

Admiral

      I don't know about that. But when I say a thing, I do it.

Lady Frederick

      Yes, I know. And in five minutes you're going to say that Gerald may marry your pretty Rose.

Admiral

      No, no, no.

Lady Frederick

      Now look here, don't be obstinate, I don't like you when you're obstinate.

Admiral

      I'm not obstinate. I'm firm.

Lady Frederick

      After all, Gerald has lots of good qualities. He's simply devoted to your daughter. He's been a little wild, but you know you wouldn't give much for a young man who hadn't.

Admiral

      [Gruffly.] I don't want a milksop for a son-in-law.

Lady Frederick

      As soon as he's married, he'll settle into a model country squire.

Admiral

      Well, he's a gambler, and I can't get over that.

Lady Frederick

      Shall he promise you never to play cards again? Now, don't be horrid. You don't want to make me utterly wretched, do you?

Admiral

      [Unwillingly.] Well, I'll tell you what I'll do – they shall marry if he doesn't gamble for a year.

Lady Frederick

      Oh, you duck. [She impulsively throws her arms round his neck and kisses him. He is a good deal taken aback.] I beg your pardon, I couldn't help it.

Admiral

      I don't altogether object, you know.

Lady Frederick

      Upon my word, in some ways you're rather fascinating.

Admiral

      D'you think so, really?

Lady Frederick

      I do indeed.

Admiral

      I rather wish that proposal of marriage had been on your own behalf.

Lady Frederick

      Ah, with me, dear Admiral, experience triumphs over hope. I must tell the children. [Calling.] Gerald, come here. Rose.

[Gerald and Rose come in.Lady Frederick

      I always knew your father was a perfect darling, Rose.

Rose

      Oh, papa, you are a brick.

Admiral

      I thoroughly disapprove of the marriage, my dear, but – it's not easy to say no to Lady Frederick.

Gerald

      It's awfully good of you, Admiral, and I'll do my best to make Rose a ripping husband.

Admiral

      Not so fast, young man, not so fast. There's a condition.

Rose

      Oh, father!

Lady Frederick

      Gerald is to behave himself for a year, and then you may marry.

Rose

      But won't Gerald grow very dull if he behaves himself?

Lady Frederick

      I have no doubt of it. But dullness is the first requisite of a good husband.

Admiral

      Now you must pack off to bed, my dear. I'm going to smoke my pipe before turning in.

Rose

      [Kissing Lady Frederick.] Good-night, dearest. I'll never forget your kindness.

Lady Frederick

      You'd better not thank me till you've been married a few years.

Rose

      [Holding out her hand to GERALD.] Good-night.

Gerald

      [Taking it and looking at her.] Good-night.

Admiral

      [Gruffly.] You may as well do it in front of my face as behind my back.

Rose

      [Lifting up her lips.] Good-night.

      [He kisses her, and the Admiral and Rose go out.

Lady Frederick

      Oh lord, I wish I were eighteen.

      [She sinks into a chair, and an expression of utter weariness comes over her face.

Gerald

      I say, what's up?

Lady Frederick

      [Starting.] I thought you'd gone. Nothing.

Gerald

      Come, out with it.

Lady Frederick

      Oh, my poor boy, if you only knew. I'm so worried that I don't know what on earth to do.

Gerald

      Money?

Lady Frederick

      Last year I made a solemn determination to be economical. And it's ruined me.

Gerald

      My dear, how could it?

Lady Frederick

      I can't make it out. It seems very unfair. The more I tried not to be extravagant, the more I spent.

Gerald

      Can't you borrow?

Lady Frederick

      [Laughing.] I have borrowed. That's just it.

Gerald

      Well, borrow again.

Lady Frederick

      I've tried to. But no one's such a fool as to lend me a penny.

Gerald

      Did you say I'd sign anything they liked?

Lady Frederick

      I was so desperate I said we'd both sign anything. It was Dick Cohen.

Gerald

      Oh lord, what did he say?

Lady Frederick

      [Imitating a Jewish accent.] What's the good of wathting a nithe clean sheet of paper, my dear lady?

Gerald

      [Shouting with laughter.] By George, don't I know it.

Lady Frederick

      For heaven's sake don't let's talk of my affairs. They're in such a state that if I think of them at all I shall have a violent fit of hysterics.

Gerald

      But look here, what d'you really mean?

Lady Frederick

      Well, if you want it – I owe my dressmaker seven hundred pounds, and last year I signed two horrid bills, one for fifteen hundred and the other for two thousand. They fall due the day after to-morrow, and if I can't raise the money I shall have to go through the Bankruptcy Court.

Gerald

      By George, that's serious.

Lady Frederick

      It's so serious that I can't help thinking something will happen. Whenever I've got in a really tight fix something has turned up and put me on my legs again. Last time, Aunt Elizabeth had an apoplectic fit. But of course it wasn't really very profitable because mourning is so desperately expensive.

Gerald

      Why don't you marry?

Lady Frederick

      Oh, my dear Gerald, you know I'm always unlucky at games of chance.

Gerald

      Charlie Mereston's awfully gone on you.

Lady Frederick

      That must be obvious to the meanest intelligence.

Gerald

      Well,

Скачать книгу