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      Acknowledgements

      Angie and Heather, the two of you, have been my rock. When I told you I started writing you both supported me and gave the encouragement I needed. This was something I was doing for myself, never intending to put it out there for anyone to read. When I made the decision to show you the work I had done, it was because I knew you would give me a truly honest opinion. There would be no sugar coating with the two of you. Was I terrified? Yes, I was. Could I handle the truth, good or bad? Yes, you both know that I could. I love you girls, thank you for pushing me to move forward with my story.

      To my better half, we were on vacation, you just returned from fishing. I was sitting at the table, notebook in front of me, pen in my hand, and you asked me what I was doing. “Writing a book” was my answer to you. Your response “That’s cool,” you didn’t laugh at me, never doubted me. You did what you have always done, you believed in me. I love you, babe.

      Last but not least to my brother “B” it took me weeks upon weeks to tell you I was attempting to write. When you told me you wanted to see what I had done, I wanted to turn back time to the minute I picked up the phone to call you. I was up north the day you were ready to give me your thoughts on my writing. Sitting in a parking lot of a general store, because it was the only place I was able to get reception. You couldn’t see me, but I was shaking knowing I was about to get what you give best…the cold hard truth, whether sincere or harsh you always say it like it is. I don’t need to remind you of the words you spoke to me that day, but I will tell you something you didn’t know, I cried the entire way back home. The moment you said, “Yes, I like it.” I had to fight back the tears. I love you little brother thank you for taking my courage and stretching it higher than I ever imagined it could be.

      Chapter One

      “Brytney, do you need to drag me into this place?” Vanessa asks.

      “Have a little imagination Vanessa; maybe you can buy a little something and snap Shayne out of the blah sex and get to some serious fucking!”

      “There’s nothing blah about our sex and why do you always have to say ‘fucking’ when it comes to sex.”

      “Vanessa you’ve been my best friend since Junior High, you have been with Shayne since our senior year. You didn’t fuck him…wait, I’m sorry…you didn’t have ‘sex’ with him till almost a year later, that was four years ago and have you ever once been anywhere but on the bottom?”

      “What does that have to do with anything? There’s nothing wrong with our sex life!”

      “I’m just saying there’s more than the bottom. You’re getting married in less than six months throw in a little adventure.”

      “I’ll leave the adventure to you and Jack. I’m happy with Shayne and mine’s sex life.”

      “Suit yourself, but you're still coming in here with me. Besides you might find something of interest.”

      “Whatever! Let’s just get this over with.”

      Walking through the smoke colored doors for the first time, I’m in aww instantly. “What the hell Brytney, you actually feel comfortable in here?”

      “Don’t knock it till ya tried it! Just go look around, I won’t be long.”

      Brytney sets off to get whatever it is she is looking for, leaving me standing there. I turn down the first isle. Holy shit! Sex toys everywhere! Things I could never imagine using, let alone buying!

      Slowly I make my way down the long wall, browsing…wondering why anyone would subject themselves to any of this. Most of it looks like it would be… painful. I stop when I see two shiny silver balls on a string, several packages of different sizes. Ben-Wa Balls? What the hell is a Ben-Wa Ball and most importantly where the hell would you put them!

      “When used the correct way with the right person, those can give you a mind blowing orgasm.”

      Warm breath, the smell of sweetness close to my ear causes my head to snap around just as he straightens up. I’m faced with a firm, sculpted chest in a tight fitting t-shirt. Looking up I catch his eyes moving up and down my body. A perfect man, he’s at least six foot four, dirty blonde hair with seductive dark blue eyes. I can feel the heat rising through my body.

      “Have you ever used them before?” His voice pulls me from my gaze.

      “I’m sorry, what?”

      “Have you ever used them before?” He asks again.

       Oh, that voice! I could melt to the sound of it! “Excuse me?”

      “I asked you if you have ever used them before.”

      “Oh, umm I’m sorry I’m here with a friend.”

      “That doesn’t answer my question.”

      “That’s really none of your business!”

      “I’ll take that as a no. May I suggest you start with these and work your way up in size?”

      “Excuse me! I’m soon to be married! I don’t need any of this stuff.”

      “What is your name?”

      “I don’t see why you need to know my name.”

      “I would like to see if a woman of such beauty has a name to match.”

      “Vanessa!” I practically shout it to him, feeling flush with embarrassment, I turn and look away. I feel his hand reach under my chin bringing my face back to his eyes.

      “Beautiful. I’m Ian, it’s been a pleasure, Vanessa. I look forward to continuing this for both my pleasure and yours.” He turns and walks away leaving me in total awe.

      Chapter Two

      Brytney said “Hey! There you are,” snapping me out of my thoughts. “I’d thought you’d at least make it past the first aisle.”

      “I told you before I have no interest in anything here.” I’m not even going to mention my encounter with Ian. “Are you ready? I’d like to get out of here now.”

      “Yes, let’s go check out.”

      “‘You’ check out, there’s nothing here for me to buy.”

      “I know something you can get, come on!” Brytney grabs my hand and starts pulling me deeper into the store.

      “What the hell is that!?” I stop abruptly eyes going wide to a thing with metal bars with hooks on each end top and bottom.

      “Suspension bars, but I think you should start out slow…that there requires experience.”

      “Hysterical, and no thank you to even starting.”

      “Oh come on Vanessa, here you go, try these out. Shayne will probably have a stroke…but it might get you turned over to the side or if you’re really lucky on your hands and knees.” She tosses a pair of panties at me; at least I think they are panties. I hold them up looking at them; they are completely split in the middle. Turning them in all directions, I look over to Brytney who is standing there with a grin. “Here, let me show you. Look they’re crotch-less panties, easy access!”

      “I’m not wearing those!”

      “Oh come on Vanessa, just buy them or better yet let me buy them for you. Think of it as an early honeymoon present.”

      “I don’t think I could wear those and besides Shayne is happy with the panties I already own.”

      “Too bad, I’m buying them, and you’re wearing them.” She tosses them on the counter with the pile of sex toys and lotions she already has up there. “Put the crotch-less panties in a bag of their own please, they go with her.”

      The cashier looks over at me and smiles. “Would you like to join our mailing list?”

      “Mailing list!? Are you serious!? People actually want sex brochures sent to their homes?”

      “Oh sweetie, no one would know, they come in

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