LITMIR.BIZ

2 The Grind

Every day was starting to seem like wash, rinse, and repeat. And not on a good cycle.

      Getting up early for so many years had become natural to Brian, but that didn't mean it was easy. In fact, the morning knot he had in his stomach was getting tighter and putting his feet on the floor at 4 a.m. was getting tougher. More and more days started with him wishing he could just stay in bed.

      Brian's two girls were also getting older and beginning to notice when he wasn't around. By the time he got home at night, they were either asleep or he was too wiped out or stressed out to do much with them. Sure, like most dads, he made it to the occasional lunch at home or school recital, but his conscience told him it wasn't enough. And when his oldest offered him some play money to buy an hour of his time the other day to stay home a little longer with her, it really hurt.

      Things with his wife, Kelly, weren't good, either. She had always been on board with his dream of big-time college coaching, but the two different moves and his ever-increasing hours were taking their toll. With Kelly caring for the girls and also working as a graphic designer, conversations usually focused on their busy schedules. She had become distant and often appeared both frustrated and less interested in his dream. The most obvious proof of this disengagement was that it had been over a full season since she had attended a game to support him. “For better or for worse” seemed to Brian to be just things people unconsciously agreed to during their wedding vows. And when “the worse” started happening, it seemed like Kelly didn't remember that part of her vows at all.

Brian still loved football. Sports had always been the driver of his life. After his athletic career as a college linebacker ended, he naturally made the transition to coaching. Now almost a decade into this career path, however, he felt unprepared. And this lack of confidence became a vicious cycle of negativity and a lack of effort. He knew deep down if he kept this act up, his job wouldn't be safe for long.

      On the field was where Brian always excelled. When he made the transition from athlete to coaching at his alma mater, he was familiar with the athletes he had played with and had their respect as a former star player and a teammate. This allowed him to work on the players' weaknesses and improve the defense. This led to some recognition and his and Kelly's first move up the ladder to a bigger program.

      Success can often breed success, even if the success isn't yours. During his second coaching stint, Brian's team eventually won the conference championship and narrowly missed a national title. Although he didn't have the same impact on the players, the athletes on this team competed at a much higher level. Their success and a couple of first-round draft picks later, Brian appeared to be a premier coach who forged athletes at the highest level. This made him more marketable and in demand.

It was the second move and his current situation where things started to unravel. Or you could say that the truth about Brian's true coaching ability came out. Brian joined the staff of a high profile and nationally known head coach charged with rebuilding a former top program. It was going to be a tough task. The athletes wouldn't be the same caliber as those he'd coached in the past, but Brian was up for the challenge (and the increased pay and prestige, too).

      The problems started for Brian when the athletes he coached didn't seem to be on board with his plan. Now ten years removed as a player (and two kids and a number of pounds heavier), Brian lacked both the command of respect and the ability to connect with the current players under his watch. The same thing was happening at home with his family, too. Of course, being a defensive-minded person, he rationalized his lack of appreciation from the team and at home as “their loss.” The trouble was, according to the head coach and Kelly, if Brian didn't fix the problem and turn this season around, the loss could be his.