LITMIR.BIZ

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got out of the car and waited as he grabbed a blanket from the trunk.

      “Where are we going?” I finally spoke.

      “Over there in one of the houses that they haven’t put doors on yet. No will see us,” he assured me.

      “It’s surrounded by a wooden fence that is too tall to climb over,” I pointed out.

      “Someone kicked out a few of the plywood planks toward the other end of the fence. The hole is covered by bushes, and I know that the construction workers haven’t fixed it yet,” Misalo said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I suddenly got nervous and wanted him to be gentle and take his time with me.

      “Will this be special?” I asked.

      “What do you mean?” Misalo glanced back at me.

      “Will you like me again once I do this?” I asked.

      “Sure,” Misalo said. We reached the opening in the fence and wiggled our way through it. We walked around the construction site, which was eerily silent. There were lots of concrete foundations that lacked framing and others that had the framework, but had not been enclosed with plywood and siding. At the rear of the construction site there was a home that was nearly complete. The doors were on it, but no locks had been installed.

      “Are you sure we’ll be safe in here?” I nervously asked.

      “Yes,” he said as I followed him inside. No drywall had been installed yet, but the rooms had been framed out with wood.

      “We can do it right here.” Misalo spread the blanket out over the floor, which was covered with sawdust.

      “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” I mumbled as I hugged myself and rubbed my arms.

      “It will be fine,” Misalo whispered as he patted a spot for me to sit down on. I sat on the floor, which was hard and uncomfortable. He sat next to me.

      “Do you have protection?” I asked, hoping that he was prepared.

      “Yeah, I have something,” he said as he proudly removed a condom. I swallowed hard and my lips quivered because I had no clue as to what to do next.

      “So have you done it before?” I asked, not sure if it was the appropriate time to ask such a question.

      “Have you?” he countered with a question of his own, which didn’t make me feel comfortable. In my mind I always imagined that my first time would be with a more experienced guy.

      “No,” I whispered, hoping that my inexperience wouldn’t ruin the moment.

      “Neither have I, so we’re both about to lose our virginity together.” Misalo said it as if being a virgin was like being diseased. I was all for proving my love, but I needed to know that his love for me was just as strong.

      “So what’s next?” I asked, too afraid to ask the love question out of fear I’d be rejected.

      “We do it,” he said as he began to unlatch his belt buckle.

      “Wait.” I stopped him. “Kiss me first, please,” I begged.

      “Okay,” Misalo answered as he mounted himself on top of me.

      I thought kissing would turn me on and get me in a better mood and even perhaps make me forget about how uncomfortable the floor felt. Misalo kissed me clumsily as if he couldn’t have cared less about kissing me the right way. He paused for a moment and glanced down at me. I saw a strange expression on his face, but I wasn’t sure what the look meant. He kissed me roughly again.

      “Softer,” I whispered instructions. “Kiss me softer.” He began placing softer kisses on my neck and thrust his hips into me. My hands trembled as I locked my arms around his back and held him close.

      “Do you love me?” I spoke purposefully in his ear.

      “Yes, Maya, I do,” he answered. His breath on my skin suddenly felt like a hot blowtorch.

      “What!” I shoved him off me so quickly he probably thought I saw someone spying on us.

      “What’s wrong?” he asked, confused.

      “You called me Maya!” I said, feeling like smoke from a candle that had just been snuffed out.

      “I did?” He paused and replayed in his mind what he’d said. “It was a mistake. Relax.” He tried to make me feel as if I were overreacting.

      “How could you think about her at a time like this?” I immediately stood up. I felt unimportant, as if the feelings I had were not mutual.

      “It was a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean anything by it,” he said defensively. “Come on, don’t ruin the moment.”

      “Me, ruin the moment? Huh! You’ve done that on your own. I can’t believe you!” I said as I began walking away.

      “Where are you going?” he asked, suddenly realizing just how serious saying the wrong name was.

      “You totally killed the mood I was in. You’ve messed up everything, Misalo. I’m nothing like Maya. You, of all people, should know that,” I said, feeling blinding rage growing inside me. I needed to get away and calm down because, at that moment, I could have easily taken the claw end of a hammer and struck him with it.

      Once I got outside the construction area, I began running. I wanted to escape from everything—Misalo, my family and, if I could, my life. Once I was a good distance away, I sat down on a bus stop bench and sobbed. Misalo truly did care about Maya more than me. The fact that I was about to endear myself to him meant nothing. As I sat on the bench, I realized that I was an emotional train wreck. My emotions functioned like a roller coaster ride—when my feelings took a nosedive, my stomach always ended up in my throat. The only constant feeling in my life was my hatred for Maya.

      “Viviana.” Misalo found me. I looked over my shoulder and glanced at him briefly as he walked toward me. I smeared away my tears and pushed my emotions deep down inside.

      “What?” I snarled at him, like a wounded animal giving a final warning before attacking.

      “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

      I glanced at him. He looked pathetic, like some chubby nerd attempting to ask a cheerleader to the school dance.

      “Take me home,” I said abruptly. He’d ticked me off to the point that the very sight of him was upsetting.

      seven

      MAYA

      “You will not believe what Misalo has done,” I complained to Keysha as we entered the beauty salon. We had both made appointments. Keysha was getting her hair braided again, and I was getting a manicure and pedicure. We sat in the waiting area because the salon was packed and filled with the sounds of multiple conversations taking place all at once. I recognized a few girls from school and waved to them. I assumed they were there for the same reasons Keysha and I were. School. Classes would be starting soon, and any girl who had any kind of sense knew that she had better come to school on the first day looking like a magazine cover model.

      “Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to Misalo,” Keysha admitted as she searched the table in front of us for a magazine.

      “He slept with Viviana.” I leaned toward Keysha and whispered so no one else could hear what I had to say. The words left a bitter taste on my tongue.

      “What!” Keysha blurted out as if some teacher had just handed her a test paper with a fat red F on it. Several people looked in our direction to see what the commotion was about. Some of them had a look in their eyes that suggested they were anticipating a cat fight between me and Keysha. Keysha realized that she had spoken louder than she intended so she leaned in closer and whispered.

      “They went all the way?” she asked for clarification.

      “Yes,”

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