LITMIR.BIZ

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suggest he never sit in a car again?”

      “No. Of course not.” Her hands shook as she raised the mug to her lips and took a sip. “The accident taught me something more. Whatever it takes to be a good navy wife, I don’t have it. I couldn’t stand on that pier and smile the next time Rush gleefully sails off into the sunset. I can’t take these long months of separation. I always thought married people were one, a unit, two people sculpting a life together. It’s not that way with Rush. It won’t ever be that way—not as long as he’s in the navy. I can’t be like you, Susan. I wish I could, but it’s just not in me.”

      “You’d rather be separated for a lifetime?” Susan questioned, frowning.

      “Yes. It would be easier than dying by inches. No. Oh God, Susan, I don’t know what I want anymore.”

      Her friend didn’t say anything for a long time, and when she did, her voice was gentle, understanding. “I stopped counting the times I’ve said goodbye to Jeff a long time ago. Every time I stand out on that pier and watch that huge carrier pull away, I think I’ll never be able to do it again. Letting Jeff go, and doing it with a smile, takes everything there is inside me. You’ve got it wrong, Lindy. You think I’m so brave and good, but I’m not.”

      “But you are.”

      “No. I’m just a woman who loves her man.”

      “I love Rush, too,” Lindy returned defiantly.

      “I know, and he loves you.” The tip of Susan’s finger circled the rim of her coffee cup as she averted her gaze, her look thoughtful. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the night I first met you. We were in the kitchen chatting, and Rush and Jeff were fiddling around on the patio with the barbecue. Remember?”

      Lindy nodded.

      “You were holding one of the boys and I saw Rush look at you. Lindy, there’s no way I can describe the longing that came into his eyes. Just watching him stare at you with such tenderness made me want to weep. It was as if you were the Madonna holding the baby Jesus. In that moment, I knew how much your love had changed Rush, and how important you had become to him in those short weeks.

      “You might succeed in getting him to leave the navy, but in time you’ll regret it. I know Rush will. Eventually it would cripple him, and in the process, you. If ever there was a man who was meant to lead others, meant to serve his country, it’s Rush.”

      “Why is it always the woman who has to change?” Lindy cried. “It’s not fair.”

      “You’re right,” Susan agreed, with a sad smile. “It isn’t fair. All I can say is, if you try to change Rush and succeed, he won’t be the same man you fell in love with, or the same man you married.”

      Lindy bowed her head, more confused than ever.

      “Rush took your words to heart,” Susan added, looking both disheartened and disappointed.

      Lindy jerked her gaze up. “How do you know that?”

      “He doesn’t expect you to be waiting for him when the Mitchell docks next month. Jeff wrote that Rush has volunteered for the first watch.”

      “What does that mean?”

      “It means he’s going to remain on board as officer of the day the first twelve hours after the crew is dismissed. He told Jeff he didn’t have any reason to hurry home since you weren’t going to be there.”

      “But, I didn’t mean I wouldn’t be at the apartment!”

      Susan shrugged. “How was Rush supposed to know that?”

      * * *

      The phone rang twice and Lindy glanced at her watch, calculating if she had enough time to answer it before meeting Susan and the other navy wives. She had no intention of being late for this last fling before the Mitchell docked. Taking a chance, she hurried into the kitchen.

      “All right, all right,” she grumbled, and reached for the receiver. “Hello?”

      Her greeting was followed by a short silence, and then a soft female voice asked, “Is Steve Kyle available, please?”

      “Carol? Is that you?” Lindy’s heart started to pound with excitement. She’d been wanting to talk to her former sister-in-law for weeks.

      “Who’s this?”

      Carol’s voice was far from fragile and she could almost picture the petite, gentle blonde squaring her shoulders and bringing up her chin.

      “It’s Lindy.”

      “Lindy! I didn’t know you were in Seattle.”

      “Six months now.”

      “You should have called. I’d love to see you again.”

      “I wanted to contact you,” Lindy said, her spirits lifting as a Christmas song came over the radio, “but Steve wasn’t in favor of the idea. How are you?”

      “Good. Real good. Well, tell me—are you Mrs. Paul Abrams yet?” The question was followed by a light, infectious laugh. “The last time I saw you, Paul had just given you a diamond ring and you were floating on cloud nine.”

      It was difficult for Lindy to remember those days. She may have been fooled into thinking she was happy, but that contentment had been short-lived. She would never have been the right woman for Paul. Once again she thanked God he’d had enough foresight to have recognized as much.

      “I married Rush Callaghan,” Lindy told her.

      A short, shocked silence followed. “You did? Why that’s wonderful—congratulations. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Rush.”

      The last person Lindy wanted to discuss was her husband, especially the way matters were between them now. “Steve isn’t here at the moment, but he’ll be back soon. I’ll tell him you called.” Lindy hesitated and then decided she couldn’t hold her tongue any longer. “I don’t know what happened between you two—Steve never told me—but whatever it is, I hope you can patch it up. He misses you dreadfully.” Lindy knew her brother would have her hide if he knew she’d told Carol that.

      Carol laughed, but the mirth couldn’t disguise her pain. “He’s gotten along fine without me, and I’ve learned to manage without him, too. Leave a message for him, will you?”

      “Of course.”

      “But tell him—” Carol added quickly, “—tell him it isn’t overly important.”

      “Sure. I’ll be happy to.”

      “It was nice talking to you again, Lindy. Really nice. I’m pleased for you and Rush. Be happy, you hear?”

      Lindy nodded, although she knew Carol couldn’t see the action. “I will,” she mumbled. “I will.”

      * * *

      Rush stood at the bridge ready to be relieved of duty. The sky was a deep shade of pearl gray and he expected it to start raining any minute. The foul weather suited his mood. The Mitchell was home, and his friends had hurried off the carrier and down the gangway to a happy reunion with their wives and families, eager to spend the holidays with their loved ones.

      Rush had stood on the bridge, hungrily scanning the crowds through his binoculars, hoping with everything in him that he’d find Lindy there. He would have given his retirement pay to have found her among the well-wishers, waiting for him.

      But Lindy hadn’t been there, and a small part of Rush had died with the knowledge. Cheryl hadn’t been there for him, either. Rush shouldn’t have been surprised. Lindy had told him in Hawaii she had no intention of standing on the gangway, and she’d meant it. He was a fool to even have expected her.

      His watchful gaze scanned the outline of the city of Bremerton and the Christmas decorations that hung from the streetlights. For the past six weeks

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