LITMIR.BIZ

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littered the room, preparing to leave.

      Lindy hated the way he ignored her so completely. For all the notice he gave her, she might as well have been an empty beer can. Savored for the moment of pleasure it brought, discarded once used.

      She was kneeling in the middle of their bed, and the tears streaked her face. “It’s either the navy or me,” she said, and her voice wobbled as she struggled not to beg him.

      Rush paused at the door, his hand on the knob, but he didn’t turn around to look at her. “I love you, Lindy, but I can’t change what I am because of your fears. I could leave the navy, but it wouldn’t be the right decision for either of us. If you’re going to force me to decide, then I have to go with what I am.”

      Lindy felt as though he’d struck her. She closed her eyes and covered her face with both hands. The door of the hotel room opened, and desperate now, she scooted off the bed. “Rush.”

      He paused.

      “When the Mitchell returns, I won’t be on that dock waiting for you!” She shouted the words at him, in a voice that was threatening as a shark’s jaw. “I mean it. I won’t be there.”

      His shoulders were stiff, his head held high and proud. “Then I won’t expect you,” he said, and walked away from her without looking back.

      * * *

      Steve was waiting for Lindy when she stepped out of the jetway that led into the interior of Sea-Tac Airport. He brushed a quick kiss over her cheek and took the carry-on bag from her hand. When he lifted his head and looked at her, he paused and frowned.

      “How was the flight?”

      Lindy shrugged, praying she didn’t look as bad as she felt. “Fine.”

      “How’s Rush?”

      “He couldn’t be better,” she answered, unable to keep her voice from dipping with heavy sarcasm. “He’s all navy—you know him. God, country, apple pie—the whole patriotic bit. He nearly lost his arm. He nearly bled to death, but he couldn’t enjoy a few days in paradise because it was more important for him to get back to the Mitchell. He’s got a job to do, you know. He alone is going to uphold world peace. You didn’t tell me what a hero I married, Steve.”

      Looking stunned, her brother stopped and glared at her, his eyes wide and filled with surprise. “Exactly what is your problem?”

      “Nothing,” she flared. “Everything,” she amended.

      “What happened?”

      She didn’t want Steve to be gentle and concerned. Not when she was being forced to admit her blunder. “You were right from the first. I made a mistake…. A bad one. I’m not the kind of woman who will ever make a good navy wife…. You knew that from the beginning.”

      Steve’s frown deepened. “I’ve come to think differently in the past few weeks. Lindy, when we got the news there’d been an accident aboard the Mitchell, you were as solid as a rock. It was me who fell apart at the seams. Don’t you remember how I kept telling you you should prepare yourself for the worst? Everything I said and did was wrong. You were like an anchor during that whole time. I was the one leaning on you for strength.”

      Lindy’s smile was weak and gentle as she placed her hand on her brother’s forearm. “You were wonderful. I thank God you were there.”

      “But you love Rush. Dear God, Lindy, you were so strong and brave when we learned he was missing, and yet I was afraid it would have killed you if the damage control party hadn’t found Rush in time.”

      “Yes, I love him. But I’m not willing to take second place in his life. With Rush—” she paused and looked up at him, her gaze narrowing “—and with you, the navy will always come first.”

      “Did you tell Rush this?”

      She nodded, and her eyes filled with an unspeakable sadness. “He knows exactly how I feel.”

      “What are you going to do now?”

      “I…I don’t know.”

      Steve placed his free arm around her shoulder and squeezed gently. “Don’t decide anything yet. You’re hurting and miserable. You’ve got several weeks to think matters through and then, once Rush is safely back in Seattle, you two can sort things out.”

      “I told Rush I wouldn’t be there to meet him when the Mitchell sails home. I meant it, Steve. He put the navy first. He was the one who chose his career over me.”

      Steve’s mouth and eyes thinned with frustration. “You sent Rush back to the Mitchell with that piece of good news? Come on, Lindy. It’s time to grow up here. So you were worried about him. That’s only natural. But don’t try to suffocate him now because eventually it’ll kill your marriage. Rush isn’t the kind of man who’s going to let someone else dictate his life. You knew that when you agreed to be his wife.”

      Lindy pulled herself free from her brother’s hold. “I didn’t expect you to understand.”

      “For God’s sake, Lindy, you want to castrate a man because he’s got a job to do and feels honor-bound to do it? What kind of logic is that?”

      “I’m not going to talk about it anymore.” Quick-paced, determined steps carried her down the concourse and away from her brother. She should have known better than to even try to talk to him. Steve Kyle was as much into patriot games as Rush.

      “Lindy,” her brother called, catching up with her. “I can’t let you ruin your life like this—and Rush’s in the process. Any idiot can see how much you two love each other.”

      “I don’t want to hear this. It’s none of your business, so keep your opinions to yourself.”

      “I can’t!”

      “Get your own house in order, big brother, and then you can start cleaning mine. Until then, stay out of my affairs.” Lindy regretted the harsh words the minute they tumbled over her tongue. Steve looked at her as though she’d stabbed a knife into his chest. A muscle in his jaw leaped to life and she saw her brother mentally withdrawing from her, as if a mechanical door were slowly lowering, blocking her out.

      His eyes narrowed and hardened as his angry gaze briefly met hers. “If that’s the way you want it.”

      It wasn’t, but she didn’t know how to retract those cruel words. He didn’t bother to wait for an answer and marched away from her. Lindy caught up with him in the baggage claim area and they rode into the city in a stilted, uneasy silence.

      “I didn’t mean what I said earlier,” Lindy told him, once they were inside the apartment.

      Her brother didn’t look at her. “Yes, you did,” he said after a moment, and walked away from her.

      * * *

      “I seem to be batting a thousand lately,” Lindy confided to Susan. She’d been back from Hawaii almost three weeks now, but this was the first opportunity she’d had to visit her friend. “In one short week, I managed to alienate both my husband and my brother.”

      “Have you heard from Rush?” Susan asked, replenishing the coffee in both their cups.

      “No. But then I didn’t expect to.”

      “Have you written him?”

      Lindy reached for her coffee cup, cradling it with both hands, letting the warmth burn her palms. “No.”

      Susan pulled out a chair and slumped down. She was nearly five months pregnant and just starting to wear maternity tops. She looked soft and fragile, but underneath she was as tough as leather. Lindy would have given everything she owned to possess the same grit and fortitude as her friend.

      “From what I can tell, you’ve put yourself in a no-win situation,” Susan said softly, sadly.

      “My

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