LITMIR.BIZ

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knew the reality was that we might not meet anymore. However, Suzie Winters was all right in my book. She was put into my life to remind me to keep seeking my purpose. Because if I did that, eventually God would show up.

      After the Midwest trip, Reverend and Mrs. Stokes took a tour of the South. The Reverend was a great candidate. He worked the crowds, hugged all the babies, and tried to shake every hand in every room. Behind the scenes, however, I heard him snap at people, talk about folks behind their backs, and promise things he’d do if elected, then later recant those promises to his campaign team.

      When we were in Natchez, Mississippi, I stood at the back of a small Baptist church and watched Reverend Stokes preach to a rapt congregation.

      The crowd, mainly African-Americans, was cheering him on. His preaching style was so inviting. Whether it was that or his orating skills, Reverend Stokes was always persuasive, and he always played up God.

      “God’s Word says,” he proclaimed, “that where there is no vision, the people perish.”

      “Yes sir, yes sir!” someone exclaimed.

      “Gotta have a vision, now!” a woman wearing purple declared.

      “After working in the U.S. Senate, I realize that this country needs a serious change,” Stokes declared.

      “Need a change!” a man shouted.

      “And the best way I can make the greatest impact is to become President of the United States. I know you all have your own dreams. What is inside of you, yearning to become reality? Don’t keep it bottled up. Release it. So what if it seems impossible—with God, all things are possible.”

      “Yes, they are, chile!” the woman wearing purple said, shouting loudly again.

      “Start working on your dream today. If obstacles appear, find a way over, through, under, or around them. If you believe you can, with the Lord’s help, you will.”

      “Amen!” someone from the crowd exclaimed.

      “Hallelujah!” another shouted.

      “Come on, Springrice Baptist, and show some love for your next President of the United States.”

      The crowd whooped and hollered so loudly that I had to cover my ears. Cool Falcon was a hit.

      I knew that with God all things were possible, and that with Him beside me I could accomplish any and every thing. The message motivated me to make my dreams come true, and not to let anything stop me. However, I still felt unworthy of His love and blessings because of my past.

      I glanced at Ryan Hold, who was standing at attention next to me while we watched the protectee eat after the service. I knew his dream. He’d told me he wanted to run the Secret Service one day.

      “Ryan, do you remember what Reverend Stokes talked about today?”

      “Yeah. He talked about actualizing your dreams, making them realities.”

      Intrigued with the fact that he knew what he wanted to do, I asked, “Why do you want to run the Secret Service? Why is that your dream?”

      “Well, Christian, I definitely don’t think it’s a level playing field, but I love my line of work. I want to run it so I can be the one to iron out the kinks,” he revealed.

      “Hmm.”

      “What?”

      “No, no! It’s just that I think that’s a really good reason to want to run it.”

      We stood in silence for a moment, watching the members of the church mingle with the Reverend and his wife.

      “Chris, what is it that you want? What is your dream?” He caught me off guard.

      “I don’t exactly know,” I said, remaining pensive. “I want something. Does that make sense? To desire to have something, though you don’t know what it is?”

      “I follow you.”

      “I’m chasing something.” I paused. “I mean, I’m well into my late twenties, nearly thirty. I don’t have anything stable. I don’t have anything to hold on to.”

      “And you’ll get it soon enough. Sooner than you think. Shoot, at your age I was married with a kid on the way. Enjoy being single. Enjoy this time of development and growth.”

      “So I take it all is good on your end—with your family, I mean?”

      “Things are okay. I’ve been on the road a lot since I took this assignment to guard Reverend Stokes. We’re just trying to hold it together. Make it work. I love her—we’re in love with each other. That’s how I know we’ll be fine.”

      “Wow, that is so totally awesome,” I declared, wishing I could relate.

      “How about you? How are things with your family?” Ryan asked.

      “Things are okay, I guess. My teen sister is going through one of many phases. Right now, she’s boy-shopping.” I laughed to myself, a half-worried laugh, remembering the day I walked in on her little escapade. “I’m worried about her. She seems to be running with the wrong crowd.”

      “Oh, trust me, I know how that goes. I have two younger sisters myself. I worry about them just as much. I only want the best for them. We used to fight all the time as kids, and we even argue a bit now. But I still love them dearly.”

      “My sister is close to my heart, too.” He nodded as he listened to me. “And my mother…” my voice trailed off. “She’s okay, I guess. I honestly haven’t talked to her since I first took this job.”

      “Wow. Why’s that?”

      “I don’t know. I’m sort of…angry.”

      “Well, what happened?”

      “Nothing really happened per se.”

      “Then why are you upset?” he questioned.

      I turned my head toward the corner of the room. What was I supposed to say? My personal life was bothering me more than I’d realized. Ryan was still waiting for my answer.

      “Chris, talk to me.”

      “It’s nothing,” I said, bringing my eyes back to meet his. “I just wish I could do more for my family. You know, I look at Mrs. Stokes, all dolled up and iced down, and I get kind of upset. I mean, why does my mom have to be the black version of trailer trash? Why did it have to work out this way for us? That’s all. I want to do so much more to help them.”

      “Continue on your path. Keep working hard. One day you’ll be able to do all the things for your family that you want to do.”

      “I sure hope so,” I said wishfully.

      Reverend Stokes appeared at events attended by both blacks and whites. Since it wasn’t as necessary for the protectee to have an African-American around him, so that person could blend in with the crowd, my partner Agent Hold and I were transferred to posts in the van. But I didn’t mind. Switching with Agents Moss and Pitts gave us some time to relax. Ryan and I munched on BBQ Lay’s, listened to the radio, and kept encouraging each other. I really enjoyed his sense of fun, mixed with our work. He’d run the Agency excellently one day. We were brisk, but not burnt out.

      After the second week’s campaign trail ended, it was time to head back home. On the way back to Georgia, I was in the front seat of the car the Stokeses were riding in. The candidate and his wife spoke in hushed tones. Suddenly, Mrs. Stokes’s voice rose in both pitch and volume.

      “I can’t believe they’re having marital problems. Our son has got to learn how to compromise.”

      Sebastian wasn’t married, and they only had two sons, so they had to have been talking about Steven Jr.

      “He’s just being smart,” Reverend Stokes snapped back. “He can’t let his wife know everything

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