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      Introduction

      This book helps to explain suicide and grief to children aged eight and under. Rafi’s Red Racing Car is the tale of a young child who has lost a parent to suicide and the grieving process that follows, though it could be used to help explain the suicide of any loved one. Since children of this age tend to be very visual, the illustrations tell the story and provide explanations of the emotions that the child will be likely to experience. The use of pictures and metaphors enables young children to identify with the emotions of a character rather than directly focusing on their own feelings, which may be too painful, intense or overwhelming to tolerate. Externalizing feelings in this way facilitates the understanding and processing of emotions that may otherwise remain internalized or ‘stuck’, or be acted out in challenging behaviours or neurotic symptoms. It is my hope that Rafi’s story will enable children to think about their emotions and process them in a ‘digestible’ way.

      It is important that children form their own narrative about the suicide of their loved one. Rafi’s story provides a framework for children to piece together their own understanding of their loss and it may facilitate further discussions with the adults around them.

      The ‘Helping Children Heal’ section at the end of the book offers guidance to parents and professionals who are helping children who have experienced a loss by suicide.

      Rafi loved his racing cars.

      His favourite was his shiny red one with silver wheels that his daddy gave him for his birthday.

      Rafi and his daddy liked to race the cars around

       the track together.

      They had so much fun. The red car was always the winner, and Rafi would clap and cheer at the end

       of the race.

      One day, Rafi’s daddy stopped playing racing cars with him.

      In fact, he no longer played with him at all, and he stopped going to work.

      Rafi’s mummy said that his daddy was ill and needed to rest.

      Rafi felt confused because his daddy didn’t really look ill.

       He just seemed different.

      ‘The illness is inside Daddy’s head,’ explained Mummy.

       ‘It’s making his thoughts and feelings get all muddled up

       and causing him to feel very

       sad and very worried.’

      Rafi wanted to help his daddy

       to get better, but he didn’t

       know how.

      One day Rafi’s daddy went out and didn’t come back.

      Mummy sat down with Rafi and told him that Daddy loved him very much, but his illness had got worse. His thoughts and feelings had got jumbled up really badly, and the doctors had not been able to make him better.

      All Daddy could think about was that he wanted all the muddle and all the worry and sadness in his head to stop. So that’s why, in his muddily head, he thought the only way to make it all stop was to end his life. Mummy explained that Daddy would never have chosen to die if he hadn’t had the illness inside his head. If he’d been well, he would have wanted to stay with Mummy and Rafi.

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