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that you go other places to meet people, like spiritual centers or churches. Join community volunteer organizations or the Audubon Society or Sierra Club. Go camping or on hikes. Spend your Saturday helping with environmental clean-ups, or anything else that will get you outside and into nature. Of course, adjust my suggestions to fit your interests. The message is that meeting different kinds of people in more desirable places is an important way to change your old conditioning and reprogram your mind.

      Another way to change your old patterns is to bring new people into your life. That’s another benefit of joining new organizations. That’s not to say you have to disassociate yourself from everyone you know. But instead of seeing the same people you’ve seen consistently for years, bring new people into your life who aren’t used to seeing you in your old environments, and find new social outlets. That includes your family members, who may continue to treat you in the conditioned, dysfunctional ways you were treated as a child. So again, you are getting new conditioning and you’re changing the old patterns.

      Don’t forget that you must first address the old wounds and bad memories, before you can heal from your deeply ingrained conditioning. I created my Anger Work book as a tool to help you in your own healing process. Please use the steps and lessons found in this book to cleanse your wounds from the past. Then, you can make new, better choices. Eventually, you will reach a point where you will respond to situations instead of reacting to them. The distinction I make between reacting and responding is this:

      When you react, you handle the situation according to your old conditioning. You impulsively blurt out the first words that come to mind, or take whatever action pops into your head first. This is often not the wisest course of action.

      When you respond you take a moment to notice your impulses, and consider other possible responses. You judge reasonably which option will better serve the end result that you would like to see in the situation. This brief pause, sometimes only seconds long, allows you to make more appropriate choices. These choices build on each other to take your life in a healthy direction. Achieving the self-control necessary to make choices about your own behavior that align with what you want out of life is a big part of becoming holistically healthy.

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