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Life on the Rocks. Peg O'Connor
Читать онлайн.Название Life on the Rocks
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781942094036
Автор произведения Peg O'Connor
Жанр Биографии и Мемуары
Издательство Ingram
Saying no to things is exhausting, as Baumeister and Tierney argue. We live in a world of unending temptations, and it can seem as if we are constantly caught in a deluge of wants and desires. Having said no to ninety-nine things makes it more likely that we cannot resist when the hundredth temptation crosses our path.
So, all those times we resist what are weaker temptations for us while thinking, Oh, now I am really building those willpower muscles, we may actually be setting ourselves up for even greater failures. Many addicts I know who were the “use because I’ve been working so hard” variety are perhaps especially vulnerable to this dynamic. When that hundredth temptation overcomes us, what we may see is total defeat. Many addicts tend to be black or white and all-or-nothing thinkers. We live life trying to jump across a vast space that allows for no middle ground.
Even though giving into the temptation may at first feel like a defeat, it also provides something of a relief. We seem to believe that if we cannot say no 100 percent of the time, we might as well never say no. Our failure serves as justification for never trying again. Furthermore, we might begin to think that a lack of self-control in one area of our life is proof that we just lack all self-control. Since we are constitutionally incapable of self-control, why bother to try to exercise control in other areas of our lives? This way of thinking is familiar to many addicted people and breeds a sort of fatalism.
There is an implicit formula undergirding this concept of willpower in conjunction with addiction that reads “inability to resist temptation = addiction.” All parts of the formula—inability, resistance, temptation, and addiction—are worrisome. It would seem to follow that the further a person moves down the substance use disorder continuum (mild to severe), the less she is able to exert self-control to resist the temptation of her drug of choice. A person either loses the ability she once had to resist or develops the inability as she moves along the continuum. But what space is there to explore the conditions under which she loses the ability completely? Does aging affect our ability to resist? How does familial or social support affect ability? These sorts of questions fall off the table. Instead the focus remains on the individual and her failure to exert her self-control in the right direction to the right degree.
To understand the connection between having power and having the opportunity to exercise it, consider this analogy: In the United States, citizens aged eighteen and older have the right to vote (unless it has been revoked due to conviction of certain crimes). But there are all sorts of conditions that keep people from exercising it, some of which are beyond a person’s control. Public transportation may not be easily available or available at all. Even though employees are entitled to exercise their right to vote during the workday, some may not do so out of fear of negative consequence from their bosses.
Willpower may be difficult to build if people live in conditions that pose very real and significant temptations or challenges. A common example is people newly in recovery who continue to live with their using friends or family. Leaving the situation may not be a realistic option. While it is true that they do have some power to make choices, those choices are largely shaped by considerations that are well beyond their control.
What does it mean to resist a substance or behavior that is tempting? It might seem obvious that it requires not consuming certain substances or abstaining from an activity such as gambling. The spectrum of use disorder may require a recalibration of the concepts of resistance and abstinence. Resistance may include harm reduction or moderate use when it’s not accompanied by the sort of negative consequences that follow from more disordered use. Abstinence, too, may stand in need of newer understandings, which is most clearly seen in the case of food addiction. One cannot completely abstain from food. Is not consuming particular foods or not consuming to specified quantities abstinence? It certainly seems like a form of resistance. Also, what if a person still orients her life around that substance or behavior or keeps many of the same “using” behaviors in the absence of the substance? There is resistance to the behavior but does there also need to be resistance to the thinking?
A deeper worry is the assumption that temptations are easily identified and defined. The nature and quality varies greatly between different sorts of temptations. On the one hand, a temptation is a temptation is a temptation. All temptations are on par with one another. On the other hand, though, each of us has multiple temptations, some of which are much stronger than others. Is anything tempting potentially addictive? All temptations are not created equal. Some substances are manufactured to be irresistible temptations (potato chips, anyone?).
The formula “inability to resist temptation = addiction” reduces a complex set of phenomena to one characteristic: the failure of an individual to exert the right amount of self-control in the right direction. But how do we determine the “right” amount and the “right” direction? Consider people with cross-addictions. A person who is trying to quit drinking may decide not to quit smoking at the same time. Co-occurring mental health concerns complicate the picture even further.
A final concern is that conjoining willpower and addiction produces a companion formula, which would state that “ability to resist temptation = recovery.” For some people, abstinence may be a necessary condition for recovery, but by itself it isn’t sufficient. Willpower is primarily a negative force; it is about saying no to things. People who are governed by willpower become masters of denying themselves, such that it becomes the dominant way to treat everything that comes their way.
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