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      legacy

       A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Personal History

       Linda Spence

      Swallow Press / Ohio University Press Athens

      Swallow Press/Ohio University Press, Athens, Ohio 45701

      © 1997 Linda Spence

      All rights reserved. Published 1997

      Swallow Press/Ohio University Press books are printed on acid-free paper ∞ ™

      11 10 09 08 07 06 05 04 9 8 7 6 5 4 (cloth)

      11 17 16 15 14 (paper)

       Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Spence, Linda.

      Legacy : a step-by-step guide to writing personal history / by Linda Spence.

       p. cm.

      ISBN 0-8040-1002-1 (alk. paper). — ISBN 0-8040-1003-X (pbk. : alk. paper)

      1. Autobiography—Authorship. 2. Report writing. I. Title.

      CT25.C62 1997

      808'.06609—dc21

      97-23680

      CIP

      The following people kindly donated photographs from their personal collections. Permission to reproduce these photographs is gratefully acknowledged: Chiquita Babb, Gillian Berchowitz, the Daijogo family, Helen Gawthrop, Richard Gilbert, Donna Kalis, Cliff McCarthy, Bonnie Rand, David Sanders, Linda Spence, Janalee Stock, Stan Swanson, Tanya Thompson, and Judy Wilson.

       Contents

       Preface

       The Gift of Legacy

       Why Write?

       Hesitating?

       The Practice of Writing

       Legacy Questions

       Now You’re Writing!

       How to Read Legacy

       Beginnings and Childhood

       Adolescence

       Early Adult Years

       Marriage

       Being a Parent

       Middle Adult Years

       Being a Grandparent

       Later Adult Years

       Reflections

       Sources for Quotations

      A few summers ago, my two sisters and I spent three weeks driving across the country, taking routes similar to ones we had taken as a family forty years ago. We visited our father’s hometown, a place we hadn’t seen for all those years. Sitting on a step of the front porch of a slightly shabby house divided into apartments, we took a picture mimicking the one our father had taken of us, when it was our grandparents’ wide verandah with the rocking chairs and cool green ferns. Basking there in the warm southern sun, I felt another kind of warmth as we stared out at the front lawn and brought back memories of the dusk games of Kick the Can that our father organized, the fireflies just out of reach, and the comfort of familiar grown-up voices drifting up the stairs as we lay in our beds hoping for a cool breeze. On that trip we compared notes on how we remembered what we had done together as a family, and we offered each other what we knew of our parents’ early years. Other than where they had lived and gone to school, we knew very little. This didn’t surprise me as I have clear memories of myself as a child hanging around the kitchen or leaning over the front seat of the car, badgering them with questions about their lives. Somehow the subject always was dropped as the frosting bowl needed to be scraped or another road-song was begun.

      By the time my sisters and I made that nostalgic summer trip, our parents were no longer living, and Legacy was close to completion. I had been moved to begin work on Legacy by my mother and my sister. I was encouraged to stay with the project by people’s eager responses—their dreamy look and earnest, “Ohhh, I wish I had a copy of that for my . . .” then they’d name a relative or someone close. Often I’d hear, “I might start one myself.”

      My daughter keeps saying, “I hope you’re writing your Legacy.” I am. So I have an idea of what lies ahead for you, and I warmly welcome you and encourage you to begin.

      This book is a gift—a gift of hope, of commitment to life and loved ones, a gift of affection. To give it to someone to use or to use it yourself is to share with others these gifts of hope, commitment, and love.

      Legacy is about life. About the times we’ve lived in, the people and events that have helped shape us, how and whom we’ve loved, what has stirred us, and how we’ve tried. When there’s been laughter and when the tears have come—those times are here, too.

      What goes into living a life during your time, in your particular place? This is what our children want to know. This is what we share with our dearest friends. It’s an affirmation of the familiar phrase, “We’re all in this together,” something we seem to sense when we’re very young, yet understand more deeply as we have time to reflect on our lives. Take the time. Tell us. Acknowledge the together of today and tomorrow, by giving your stories. The story of a life is a priceless legacy.

      Whether you are using this guide yourself or giving it as a gift, the primary purpose of Legacy is to help reveal and preserve, easily and comfortably, the essence of one’s life. If you suspect the recipient of your gift may need encouragement to begin, there are several ways you can help. Starting with “Why Write,” read the introductory sections together. Express what it would mean to you to have a completed Legacy book. Your desire to know her or his life better may be the key incentive the writer needs to get started. The Legacy writer will need a book to write in—refer to the “Practice of Writing” section for suggestions. Whatever you choose, keep it simple. It’s important that the book becomes theirs and that they are comfortable writing in it. As my sister said to me, “You know we’d have been thrilled if Mother or Dad had handed us a stack of dog-eared composition books filled with their stories.” A smooth writing pen, a mug full of well-sharpened pencils, and your words of interest and encouragement would complete the gift.

      Check in on the Legacy writer occasionally: How is it going? Who have you remembered that you hadn’t thought of for a long time? What have you found yourself thinking about?

      If the recipient of your gift is unable to do the actual writing, use the Legacy questions as springboards for conversation, or take down the words yourself. If she or he is comfortable having the responses mechanically recorded, a video or audio tape would be fine as an added dimension, but a transcribed copy on paper in an attractive binder would be a more lasting and

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