EMPOWER Your Students - Lauren Porosoff

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values.

      Meaning is not inherent in a thing, whether it’s a pen, a work environment, or a school assignment. Meaning comes from our history of relating to the thing. We might have a history of seeing dry pens as garbage, chaotic workplaces as stressful, and mathematics assignments as torture—aversives we’d understandably avoid. But at any moment, we can notice that dry pens, chaotic workplaces, and mathematics assignments might have other meanings, and we can choose meanings that reflect our values. Things we’d ordinarily avoid become things we readily approach when we connect them to our values. Since values are central to transforming meaning, the next section explains what values are.

      When people and institutions name their values, they often use abstract ideas like courage, creativity, and excellence. Abstract ideas, by definition, don’t exist in the physical world, and it’s not particularly empowering to look for something that doesn’t physically exist. People also say they value their relationships with certain people, their time spent in certain places, and their achievement of certain things. But people, places, and things often aren’t in our control. We can lose them, they can change, or they can become less important to us over time. Of course, it’s wonderful to have important people, places, things, and ideas in our lives. But it’s not all that empowering to rely on these things outside ourselves to make our lives meaningful.

      What if we decide to think of our values as how we act? One technical definition of values is “freely chosen, verbally constructed consequences of ongoing, dynamic, evolving patterns of activity, which establish predominant reinforcers for that activity that are intrinsic in engagement in the valued behavioral pattern itself” (Wilson, 2009, p. 64). When we refer to values in this book, we’ll use a simpler version: values are qualities of action that make life meaningful.

      As qualities of action, our values answer questions like, How will I approach my life? or How will I choose to do this? In a student’s case, his or her values answer questions like, How will I approach school? How will I choose to do this assignment? How will I choose to relate to my peers? The words that answer these kinds of questions are adverbs: approach school courageously, do this assignment imaginatively, relate to my peers responsibly. The appendix has lots more examples of adverbs students might use to answer questions about how they want to live. We will refer to the appendix frequently throughout the book.

      Every time we mention values, we mean the values people choose for themselves. At no point do we advocate telling students what their values should be. Rather, the activities and strategies in this book help students transform school into a context for enacting values they choose. We refer to these activities and strategies as EMPOWER work to keep the focus on its purpose (exploration, motivation, participation, openness, willingness, empathy, and resilience) and to distinguish it from work designed to promote particular values at school. Parents in particular might need help understanding this difference, because they’re the ones who do teach their children what to value. Visit go.SolutionTree.com/instruction for a free, downloadable letter to parents that you can use or adapt.

      Values are positive qualities of action, so they sometimes get confused with other positives in life: preferences and goals. Let’s see how values are different.

      Finding a behavior fun, enjoyable, or comforting doesn’t necessarily mean it serves values. Living in accordance with values often brings deep satisfaction and vitality, but the day-to-day effort of committing to values doesn’t necessarily feel pleasant, and sometimes it feels like a burden (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012).

      Imagine that Teddy values relating to people authentically. He’s feeling lost in mathematics class, and he doesn’t like the teacher, but he decides to see her during office hours to improve his skills and build a more positive relationship with her. Asking for extra help might feel embarrassing and meeting with this teacher might feel stressful, but Teddy is acting on his values. Conversely, if he enjoys being the center of attention and making people laugh, he might tell jokes in mathematics class. If this behavior alienates some classmates and his teacher, then his pursuit of his own good feelings actually moves him away from his values, since he really wants to relate to people in an authentic way.

      Psychologists who write about values often distinguish them from goals (Harris, 2009; Hayes et al., 2012; Wilson, 2009; Wilson & Murrell, 2004). Values describe the function of the behavior, while goals describe the form. Unlike goals, which you can check off a to-do list, values are ongoing. For example, getting a B in mathematics is a goal. Once Teddy gets his B, he’s done working toward his goal. He could set a new goal of maintaining his B or even getting a B+, but that’s another goal. But working persistently is a value—an ongoing process he can engage in every day, in mathematics and other classes, and when playing baseball and fishing, and after he graduates and becomes a sports agent, and in marriage and parenting, and in any and all aspects of his life that he chooses.

      Goals aren’t as empowering as values because achieving goals isn’t entirely in the student’s control. Focusing totally on the goal of getting into a good college means that if the student isn’t admitted, can’t afford tuition, or can’t make passing grades once enrolled, then he or she might feel lost and even worthless. But students who have clarified their values and don’t get into the colleges of their dreams can find other meaningful ways to, say, work persistently and relate to people authentically. They can also make their school experiences serve those values today instead of only preparing for a specific tomorrow.

      If values are qualities of action that make our lives meaningful, what exactly are the actions? Without concrete, specific behaviors through which we can make our values manifest—what contextual psychologists call committed action (Hayes et al., 2012)—the articulation of values is just talk. Or worse, if students identify qualities of action that make life meaningful but don’t find ways to enact their values at school, then school just gets in the way of a meaningful life and becomes even more aversive.

      Committed actions are positive behaviors—dos as opposed to don’ts. For example, a student who values treating people respectfully might decide she wants to stop interrupting in class. But it’s hard to stop engaging in a behavior when the behavior serves a purpose. Perhaps the interruptions make her feel less anxious or solicit immediate attention. Stopping her interruptions will take away these benefits without replacing the function they serve. What could this student do in class that would actively show respect? She could look at the person whose turn it is to speak. She could listen for dismissive comments and make a more validating comment. She could express appreciation for a classmate’s interesting idea. Maybe she’ll stop interrupting others and maybe not, but if she values treating people respectfully, then these positive behaviors would probably give her a sense of vitality and contribute to a more meaningful experience at school.

      Commitments to values-consistent actions “are not the same as promises, predictions, or historical descriptions. Although they extend into the future, they occur in the here and now” (Hayes et al., 2012, p. 329). The activities in this book focus on today, this week, a current assignment: What will I do now? A present-focused committed action, followed by another and another, can develop into a pattern of actions that makes school more meaningful. Students might find new ways to live by their values in the future, but they don’t need to wait until they’re older or until someone gives them permission. They can do it right now.

      The I in What will I do now? is important too. Only the students themselves can make and keep these commitments. But teachers can help them imagine possibilities: what to do, when, and how. We can also strive to create a safe environment in which students can discuss their values and what changes they want to make in their lives. If behaving in a particular

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