LITMIR.BIZ

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ugly, then sit silently.»

      But she could not resist herself.

      She tried to catch the attention of this guy, but she could not. A group of girls followed Vlad all day long, in the cafeteria, during the reception, at the next lecture. He did not see her behind those tall blondes, and Nina dared not push someone away, as the others did many times to her.

      The only relief for Nina was that Vlad Lapin looked very concentrated on study and was so absorbed that he did not even notice the efforts of those girls.

      They accompanied him until he returned after school to the apartment building for male students, where entry of females was prohibited.

      «He’s dumb,» the monitor girl said with disappointment. «Third day. I bet he’s gay. Or just sick. I give up. There are other guys here.»

      The girls went in different directions.

      «Sick?» Nina thought about Vlad. «Gay? No matter, we can be just friends. Oh, God! Just to see him… Just to see.»

      At home, Nina stared at her reflection in the mirror, and watched as her mother, Alla, came close. They lived together, alone. Alla divorced a long time ago, and Nina did not even remember her father.

      The woman tenderly caressed her daughter’s black ringlets. «How was your first day, honey?»

      «Mom, am I ugly?» Nina asked instead of giving an answer.

      Alla sighed. «You are beautiful, it’s just that not everybody likes classic beauty. I’m afraid you’ll never find a man who can appreciate you enough.»

      She left, but Nina still searched her own face; she was satisfied with her lips only.

      «It’s considered that big eyes are beautiful. Lie! I look like a cow!» Nina took sunglasses and put them on, trying to hide her eyes, but now her long nose made her resemble an owl. She threw the glasses away and cried with despair.

      «I am ugly,» she thought again. «Nothing can help.»

***

      «God Bless America,» thought Nina, smiling with those memories. «So many women around are stout and black-headed. I’m not a social outcast anymore.»

***

      Jeff Menard finished all the formalities in the local animal shelter and returned to his police cruiser. He got in and hesitated for a while. Deliberately, Jeff turned his computer on and typed: «Vera Grach.»

      He gazed at the screen. Married. This word killed all his hope.

      «Of course, she should be,» Jeff muttered inaudibly. A bitter pain pricked his heart. «I’m a fool. Such a woman…» And he turned the computer off.

***

      A few days later, as Jeff Menard was driving his police cruiser along the small road behind an apartment building, he saw a vehicle moving in the opposite direction.

      He recognized the car of Vera Grach, and he sighed. To his surprise, the car was moving very erratically, and he thought that Vera might be drunk.

      However, when the vehicles neared each other, he saw Nina Lapina was driving and Vera was next to her. Jeff understood that Vera was teaching her friend how to drive. The car passed by the police cruiser, and Jeff continued to watch it in the mirror.

      A few hundred yards farther down, the road turned. Nina lost control, and the vehicle, still heading straight, left the road and vanished from Jeff’s view into a ditch.

      Jeff gasped and whirled his cruiser around.

      He reached the place where the accident had happened, got out, and looked down.

      He sighed with relief. The slope of the ditch was not steep. The car just stopped, and both the women, safe and sound, were standing near it looking at each other in confusion. They heard the police officer’s arrival and turned toward him.

      Vera waved her hand, and Jeff neared.

      «Officer,» she started to talk. «We have a problem.»

      «Don’t you remember me?» asked Jeff, and both Russians gazed at him.

      «What am I talking about?» He thought trying to take himself under control. «Who am I to her? Just a policeman.»

      «I remember you.» Vera smiled. «You took away the cat that we found.»

      Chuckling, Nina gently poked Vera and whispered something into her ear.

      «Stop it, Nina.» Vera did not let on, but he understood.

      «They noticed my feelings!» Jeff thought, averting his eyes. «I look stupid.»

      «I read somewhere,» Vera was addressing Jeff. «A man put a bouquet of the flowers on the porch of his neighbor. The owner of the house reported it to the police, and the man was arrested.»

      «Crazy lady,» Nina giggled. «I wish someone put flowers on my porch.»

      «I think you’re right, Nina.» Vera fixed her glare on Jeff, and the embarrassed policeman wanted to change the subject. He looked at her car.

      «Your car is much cheaper than your husband’s,» he said with surprise.

      «We have separate accounts and budgets,» Vera calmly answered, reviving hope in his heart. «We spend money how we want. I need to pay for my study, and the paints are very expensive. Oleg has his own business in Russia. But my account is all the money that I have. I have to be practical.»

      «I don’t understand,» Nina cut in. «Why Vera doesn’t kick her light-headed hubby out and find some good, serious man instead.»

      «Oleg loves me,» explained Vera, moving her braid in front of her. Enchanted by the view, Jeff watched her long thin fingers mechanically playing with her chestnut hair. «Immigration is a very difficult process. It would be a dishonest act and a betrayal to divorce him.»

      «And this is why…» Jeff felt irritation, and lost his careful manner. «you’re ready to sacrifice your life, and maybe the happiness of some other man?»

      «Yes, because I appreciate and value such feelings.»

      «Don’t you think another man can have the same or maybe even stronger feelings for you?» He saw Nina walk aside leaving him alone with Vera, and he fell silent.

      «You don’t know me.» Squeezing her braid, Vera stared at Jeff. The small, refined features of her dizzyingly white face made her look like a mouse.

      «I feel as if I’ve known you all my life,» Jeff replied very quietly, and Vera lowered her eyes thinking about her husband.

      Vera had been dating Oleg about two months when she received the invitation from the University.

      She was afraid that she had misunderstood. She went to her trusted professor, then to the Embassy of the United States.

      Everybody confirmed these papers, and an excited Vera barely believed her luck.

      She was sorting her belongings when Oleg entered her apartment, and she felt confused. He was a nice man, he helped her, but Vera had no strong feeling for him. She was happy to have a reason to break up with him in a friendly way, without, she hoped, a scandal.

      «Oleg.» She tried to talk calmly. «I’m sorry, but we have to stop seeing each other.»

      He gazed at her, and Vera finished quickly. «I’ve got a fellowship to study in the U.S.A. I’m moving there.»

      Without a word, Oleg circled the room twice.

      It seemed as if he could not decide what to do. Suddenly, he approached Vera, fell on his knees, grabbed her hands, and started erotically kissing them.

      «How could you think I’d leave you because of that?» He was talking, with a catch in his voice. «I can’t live without you. You are my sunshine and air. Let’s get married! I’ll go with you

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