Hard to Love - Kendall Ryan

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our drinks in hand, we found a corner booth and slid into the seats.

      I slumped back against the seat, resting my head against Ty’s shoulder. ‘What was in these Jell-O thingies? I feel funny.’

      MacKenzie laughed. ‘Vodka. I thought you knew Jell-O shots had booze in them.’

      Ty grasped my chin, turning my face to his. ‘How many of those did you have, Lex?’

      I tried to count and lost track. ‘Um, ten? Twelve?’

      ‘Shit,’ he said, and took the bottle of beer from my hand, replacing it with the water.

      ‘Damn it, Kenzie. You said you’d watch out for her tonight.’

      MacKenzie waved him off. ‘She’s drunk, not dead, Tyson. Calm down. It’s her twenty-first birthday, and P.S.—you’re not her dad.’ She knocked back a healthy swig of her own drink.

      ‘Don’t fight, you guys. I’m fine.’ I reached out to pat each of them reassuringly but fumbled. ‘See?’

      They both laughed at my lack of coordination.

      ‘Sometimes I forget how sheltered you are, Alexa. I swear you act like you were raised by the Cleavers, with your day-of-the-week cotton underpants and everything.’ she chuckled.

      I sat up straighter in my seat. ‘Just because I’m a virgin to Jell-O shots doesn’t mean anything. Hell, I’m a virgin in every sense—’ I slapped a hand over my mouth. Crap! I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

      MacKenzie grabbed my shoulders. ‘Are you serious right now?’

      I nodded, reluctantly. Kenzie’s and Tyson’s faces were both filled with surprise at my revelation. ‘What? It’s not like I’m proud of it. I don’t want to be this way anymore.’

      MacKenzie took my hand. ‘Babe, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But if you do want to get rid of it—it’s not that difficult to do. Your parents did have the birds and bees talk with you, right?’

      I grabbed my beer away from Ty and took a fortifying sip. ‘I’m not like you. I couldn’t have a one-night stand.’

      ‘Well, don’t come crying to me when you find yourself old and living alone with a bunch of cats.’

      I took another pull from my bottle, not about to tell her I’d been thinking about getting a cat lately.

      ‘Leave her alone, Kenzie,’ Tyson said, removing the beer from my grasp yet again. He leaned over to me. ‘If you want me to help you, just let me know.’

      MacKenzie swatted Tyson’s hand away from my thigh. ‘No, Ty. I get to help pick him out. Sort of a birthday present.’ She smiled.

      I rolled my eyes, blowing off their suggestions. I was not picking out a random guy to sleep with on my twenty-first birthday. And I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping with Tyson. Gah! Could you imagine? He’s like a brother to me.

      ‘Oh my God! Alexa, look.’ MacKenzie pointed across the bar. ‘It’s the guy from the website.’

       Chapter 3

       Cade

      I sat at the bar nursing a beer, lost in my thoughts.

      ‘You want a nipple on that bottle, man? Stop being a little bitch and drink up,’ Ian said, knocking back his own beer in a few swallows.

      I shot him a warning look. ‘Don’t fuck with me tonight, I’m not in the mood.’ I’d been hell-bent on getting drunk tonight, needing a few hours’ peace from the worry that constantly followed me around, but somehow I was failing even at that. ‘Lily’s latest surgery bill came.’

      ‘Sorry, man.’ Ian tipped his beer, clinking the bottle against mine. ‘Let me know if I can help.’

      I nodded. I’d never ask him for help, and we both knew it, but still, just that he offered meant a lot. Ian and I had been friends since the eighth grade when I moved here to live with my grandparents. He knew all about my sister Lily, and the condition that left her poor little spine and legs tangled and twisted. After my parents’ three-strikes-you’re-out meth bust that landed them both in prison when she was three, and my grandparents each passing within a year after that, I’d had sole custody of her. She was six now and a sassy little thing that didn’t know the meaning of the word disabled. It was one of the many things I loved about that little girl. But her care wasn’t cheap, which left me constantly worrying about money.

      Ian, a lifelong martial-arts enthusiast, had introduced me to cage fighting a couple of years ago. It was a perfect fit. The opportunity to earn fast money and take out my pent-up aggression all at once. But it wasn’t enough. And then my latest dumbass venture came along. Rick had approached both Ian and I, but I was the only one hard up enough for cash to consider it. Or the only one dumb enough, take your pick. Ian knew I was working for Rick, but didn’t want any of the details, so of course I hadn’t mentioned my late-night visit to the ER.

      After getting the bill for Lily’s latest surgery, I realized it wasn’t just a well-paying job I needed, it was one that came with health insurance, too. But if I could stick it out and film even a couple of videos, I’d have more than enough to pay the bill. Then I could focus on cleaning up my act and getting a real job, for Lily’s sake.

      Realizing I was lost in my thoughts again, Ian cleared his throat. ‘Stop stressing, bro. You get plenty of that during the week. We haven’t been out in God knows how long, and since you have a babysitter for Lil tonight, we need to make good use of this time.’

      ‘Yeah? And how do we do that?’ Hitting the gym for a late workout session, followed by a hot shower and my bed sounded like a perfectly good use of my time. I didn’t even think I was capable of catching a buzz at the moment.

      ‘For starters, we need to make getting some pussy priority number one.’

      I shook my head, not about to explain to him that tomorrow I’d be getting plenty of that on set. And with that bill hanging over my head, I sure as shit needed to perform this time.

      Ian tipped his head toward a booth across the room. ‘And I think you’re in luck, bro. Those girls over there are staring at you.’

      I turned from the bar, drawing my beer up to my lips as I scanned the room. With a jolt of surprise, I spotted the pretty little nurse from the other night, seated in a booth with a couple of friends.

       What the hell?

      The other woman at the table waved me over.

      ‘Do you know them?’ he asked.

      ‘Yeah. Sorta.’ I threw a few bills on the counter and told Ian I’d see him later. I sauntered over to where they sat.

      ‘Hey there, sexy,’ Alexa’s friend said, trailing her fingers down my forearm. ‘Saw your website. That shit was hot.’

      My eyes flew to Alexa’s. She’d told her friends about what I did? And what… Googled me? ‘Alexa?’

      She blushed and bit her bottom lip. ‘Hi Cade.’

      She wasn’t even going to deny it? I supposed I had to get used to the fact that pictures of my cock were splashed all over the Internet, and that videos would soon follow. I had a film shoot tomorrow that I had to get through. I’d given Rick a piece of my mind about hiring girls that looked so young, and he promised he’d pair me with Mollie, an experienced pro I was sure to love, if I gave it another shot.

      ‘Have a seat, Cade. Or is it Sebastian?’ Alexa’s friend asked. ‘I’m MacKenzie by the way, and this is Tyson.’ She motioned to the guy seated with them. He gave me a weak smile, looking just as uncomfortable as I was.

      I remained standing.

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