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referee, who would otherwise get it in the ear as the nearest available man in black (or green, or yellow).

       For matches abroad, I had a big say in who was the Fourth Official. The procedure was that UEFA or FIFA would inform the English FA that I had been appointed for such and such a match, and then the FA would appoint the two assistants and the Fourth Official. The FA knew that we would be away together for three days, and that it would not be a good idea to send a team of officials who didn't get on with each other. The FA knew who I was friendly with and, more importantly, whose company I did not enjoy. In case they were in any doubt, I blackballed a couple by saying, ‘don't put them on trips with me’.

       You can't only take your mates though. Going abroad as a Fourth Official is a chance to learn and get experience, so when I was a senior ref I was sometimes asked to take someone on his way up.

       On the whole though, I think the Fourth Official function is fraught with difficulties—not least in circumstances such as the Zidane scenario. The choice for Luis Medina Cantalejo in Berlin at the World Cup Final might have been to ignore the letter of the law or ignore a head-butt. That cannot be right.

       And consider, once again, the ‘phantom goal’ awarded to Reading at Watford (on 20 September 2008). There was no television monitor in the technical areas that day. The rules had been changed at the start of the season for the Premier League and Football League to stop managers seeing mistakes by referees and immediately confronting them about them.

       Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd, standing next to the Fourth Official, saw with his own eyes that the ball had gone nowhere near the goal. The Fourth Official decided, properly according to the Laws, not to say anything to referee Stuart Attwell. Later in the game, however, Boothroyd, who was understandably still incensed about the ‘goal’, said something rude about a throw-in decision and the Fourth Official said he would report him. Boothroyd replied, ‘Oh, you couldn't tell a ref about a goal that wasn't, but you can tell the ref about that all right, can't you?’ The Fourth Official did report Boothroyd, who was sent to the stand by the ref.

      MORE RED CARDS FOR ZIDANE

       AFTER his sending off, but before the end of extra-time and before the penalties were taken, there was an announcement over the public address system at the stadium which summed up the paradoxical Zinedine Zidane. It was announced that he had won the Golden Ball award for the World Cup's best player. The award was determined by a vote of journalists at the Final. The votes were collected at half-time, and by the time the count had been conducted, Zidane was back in the dressing room in disgrace and those same journalists were compiling reports which condemned him for resorting to violence. That conflict, between celebrating Zidane's skills and castigating him for savagery, was a constant throughout his career.

       If we start to play the role of amateur psychologists, there is a danger we will make assumptions that are not accurate. But it must be right that Zidane's childhood helped shape the man he became, so we have to record that he was the youngest of five children born to immigrant parents in a housing project in a rough part of Marseille. Football, played beautifully, was his escape route from that tough start, but did he take some of the instincts of a street fighter with him?

       Vinnie Jones, now known for acting as a ‘baddie’ in films, really was a baddie when I was refereeing. He probably had the reputation as the hardest player of my era and was sent off 13 times. Zidane was sent off a total of 14 times.

       The Scottish referee Stuart Dougal set some kind of record by sending off both Zidane and the Dutchman Edgar Davids in the same Juventus Champions League match in 2000. It is not every ref who red cards two of the best players of the world in the same evening. Zidane's sending off was for a retaliatory head-butt. At least two of the French-man's other dismissals were also for head-butts. One was for stamping on an opponent. So perhaps we should not have been so shocked that he erupted with fury in the World Cup Final. In some ways, it was an entirely appropriate way for his career to end because it was in keeping with what had gone before.

       But this complicated man, who could be so violent towards opponents, could bring a football under control with the deftest, gentle touch and was capable of great artistry on the football pitch. Bixente Lizarazu, who played with him for Bordeaux and France, said, ‘When we didn't know what to do, we just gave the ball to Zizou and he worked something out.’

       From the back streets of Marseille came the most expensive player in the world. He won league titles in Italy and Spain. He won the World Cup and the European Championship. He was FIFA's world player of the year three times. His two goals as France won in 1998, together with his penalty in 2006, mean that he scored in two World Cup Finals. Yet his last act as a pro was to head-butt an opponent.

       3 A Big Hand for Maradona

      THE MATCH

      Like Zinedine Zidane, Diego Armando Maradona grew up in a humble family and went on to become the pre-eminent player of his generation. Some will tell you that Maradona was the greatest of all time. But, as with Zidane, it is impossible to assess the Argentine without factoring in an offence committed at a World Cup—and I am an England fan, so you know where I stand. As far as I am concerned, the notorious ‘Hand of God’ goal against England during the 1986 World Cup disqualifies Maradona from inclusion alongside Pele and Johan Cruyff in the very top bracket of the best ever to have played the game. And, from a modern perspective, the way Maradona cheated that day asks some questions for referees and for the game itself. So let's get in the time machine again. Set the dial for 1986.

      In Mexico, the 13th staging of the World Cup finals involved three teams from the United Kingdom. Scotland were eliminated at the group stage, losing to Denmark and West Germany and gleaning their single point from a goalless game against Uruguay. Their only goal in three matches was scored by Gordon Strachan. Northern Ireland were also knocked out with just one point, although their group included Brazil and Spain, and they did finish above Algeria.

      England, meanwhile, stuttered along unconvincingly until, on 11 June, a Gary Lineker hat-trick gave them victory against Poland. That made them group runners-up behind Morocco and saw them through to the first knock-out stage, the ‘round of 16’. England did not appear to be in the sort of form to worry anyone, least of all Argentina, who breezed through their group with two wins and a draw, and for whom Maradona was living up to his pre-tournament billing as a major talent.

      But England were getting into their stride at the right time and two more goals from Lineker and one from Peter Beardsley saw them ease past Paraguay 3-0 (in Mexico City on 18 June) to set up a quarterfinal against Argentina, 1-0 winners against Uruguay. The three other quarterfinals all went to penalties. The attendance for England's quarterfinal in the Aztec Stadium in Mexico City (on 22 June) was an astonishing 115,000. The fateful moment came after 51 scoreless minutes.

      England had just dealt with one attack and most players were still in our half. Maradona, dropping deep, took possession about 40 yards from our goal, about ten metres in from our right touchline, and started motoring forwards. Two rows of England players were stationed in front of him and Glenn Hoddle stepped forward from the ranks to close him down. The little Argentine simply swayed away to his right and left the future England coach stranded. As Barry Davies said on the BBC television commentary, with a tone of mounting concern, ‘Maradona just walked away from Hoddle.’

      Peter Reid, playing left midfield, ran back and across but the ArgentineD/B/A KENNEBEC BEHAVIORAL HEALTH's acceleration had carried him away before Reid got there. Three defenders came out from the edge of the penalty area to try to deal with the obvious and increasing threat but they too were left marooned out of position as Maradona, now equidistant between the two sidelines, used

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