LITMIR.BIZ

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entrance to the outdoor terrace. She was checking out the menu, dressed in a pink jacket, black snow-trousers and those distinctive pink boots she’d been wearing yesterday, her chin nestled deep in a black scarf that was tied tight around her neck. But he knew it was her. He recognised the jacket, the long, dark curly hair sticking out from underneath her pink beanie hat. It was her. So, fate had decided to hurry this one up then. And for that, Zac was truly grateful.

      *

      I’d spent the entire morning trudging round the foot of the slopes, dodging people on sledges as they hurtled down the smaller hills reserved for tobogganing, watching in jealous fascination at those who could ski so gracefully without falling flat on their backsides, but I was hungry now. Breakfast seemed an age ago as my tummy rumbled so loudly I could hear it through all the layers of thermal underwear and padding. There was no harm in checking out the lunch-time menu here at The Ice Tree. If they had something nice on offer maybe it would be easier to just stay here and grab a bite to eat rather than make that short detour into town. But I’d loved Mikku’s café; the food had smelt delicious when I’d been in there yesterday. And there was always the chance that Mikku might be there too. I kind of missed him already; that strange young man who’d gone a long way to making this trip seem a lot more special and a whole lot easier than I’d ever anticipated it could be. Just thinking about him seemed to send another wave of calm rushing over me, and for a brief second it almost felt as if there was a faint and far-away voice telling me to stay exactly where I was.

      And it was then, as I turned my attention back to the now-quite-crowded bar, that I saw Zac, sitting at one of the tables outside on the snow-covered terrace. He was wearing a bright-red jacket, his hair covered by a black hat, and he was staring straight at me. But this time there was nothing making me want to run off, nothing telling me to get out of there because it was wrong. All I felt was that sweeping calm, that feeling that this was supposed to be happening. It wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t. Surely just talking to him couldn’t be wrong?

      I couldn’t seem to move from where I was standing, though, so I was almost relieved when I saw him stand up and make his way out of the bar, walking over to me until he was right in front of me. So close I could see every inch of his handsome face. And this time the guilt felt less intrusive than it had yesterday, although I still couldn’t get the thought of betraying Jase out of my head. But I was only going to talk to him, wasn’t I? That’s all. Just talk.

      He smiled, and my heart turned what felt like a zillion somersaults because it had been a long time since someone had smiled at me that way. It had been a long time since I’d felt those stomach flips, and it was strange and unusual – and nice. Oh God, Jase, please forgive me, baby.

      ‘Shall we start again?’ he asked in that wonderful Scottish accent, that smile still there, a friendly aura emanating from him, making me feel instantly comfortable.

      I nodded, swallowing hard. ‘I’d like that,’ I replied, finally able to return his smile.

      ‘Okay… I’m Zac.’

      ‘And I’m Jessie.’

      What else was there to say?

      *

      Café Aurora – the little café/bar where Mikku had taken me – was as busy today as it had been yesterday, but we managed to find a table in the corner by the huge open fire and the beautiful Christmas tree that smelt of pine and ginger from the festively decorated biscuits that hung from its branches.

      ‘So,’ Zac began, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it over the back of his chair, ‘…I finally get to talk to you. Properly.’

      I didn’t look up at first, just sat there cradling my mug of hot chocolate, too frightened to face him now, too nervous of what I was doing, of what I might start feeling.

      ‘Jessie?’

      He was going to think I was weird if I sat staring into my drink the whole time, but this entire situation was crazy, and now I’d stopped to think about it for a few seconds, I had no idea what to do anymore.

      ‘Listen, I’ve just got to make a quick phone call,’ Zac went on, and I heard him push his seat back but still I couldn’t look at him. ‘I’ll be five minutes, I promise. Don’t go anywhere, okay?’

      I waited until I was sure he’d disappeared from sight before sitting back in my chair, throwing my head back, closing my eyes and sighing heavily.

      ‘You shouldn’t fight this, Jessie.’

      I opened my eyes and sat up straight. There was Mikku, standing by the table, a tea towel flung over one shoulder, that intense stare once more present on his handsome face. Where had he come from? I’d assumed he wasn’t working in the café today because there’d been no sign of him when we’d come in. It was only a small café, so I’d just thought that, if I couldn’t see him, then he wasn’t working this afternoon.

      ‘Shouldn’t fight what?’ I asked, looking at him, those dark eyes of his still as mesmerising as they had been yesterday.

      ‘What is happening here. With Zac.’

      I frowned slightly. How did he know Zac’s name? How did he even know Zac and I had met? Oh God, I didn’t think I could take another confusing day, it was exhausting. ‘Nothing… nothing is happening here, Mikku. Zac and I, we… we’re just having a hot chocolate together. That’s all. We’ve only just met…’

      ‘I know,’ Mikku carried on, wiping the table down next to ours. ‘But, like I said, you shouldn’t fight it. You liked his music, yes?’

      Oh. Okay. Maybe that explained how Mikku knew Zac’s name. He was obviously a fan of the band.

      ‘Yeah. Yeah, I liked his music.’

      ‘So, you are glad I made you go to The Ice Tree yesterday then?’

      I watched as he continued to wipe down the next-door table, even though it looked pretty clean to me. ‘I didn’t think you were working here today,’ I said, blowing on my hot chocolate to cool it down. ‘I couldn’t see you when we first came in.’

      ‘I was in the staff room,’ he said, facing me again. ‘But when I came back out here I saw you, saw the way you couldn’t meet his eyes. He was looking at you, but you couldn’t look at him. Why is that, Jessie?’

      There was a part of me that wanted to tell him it was really none of his business, but that was overtaken by the part of me that felt this was very much his business, in a way I wasn’t all that sure of yet. So I just looked at him, suddenly glad he was here.

      ‘I don’t know what to do, Mikku. I mean, when he approached me yesterday I gave him the biggest brush-off I could have given anyone because… because it felt wrong. It felt… it felt like I was betraying Jase, even by just looking at another man I felt like I was betraying him, but… when we saw each other just now, down by The Ice Tree…’

      ‘How did it feel?’ Mikku asked, absent-mindedly fiddling with the huge holly garland that hung across the top of the stone fireplace. ‘When you saw him today?’

      I was a touch confused by this conversation, but the second Mikku turned to face me again I felt my shoulders sag, and the need to get things off my chest once more became almost overwhelming.

      ‘I’m scared.’

      ‘Is that why you can’t look at him?’ Mikku asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.

      I nodded. ‘I think so. When I saw him with all the ski gear on – the hat, the jacket, well, it’s almost like a barrier, isn’t it? But now all that’s come off, I’m scared to look at him because I’m scared of how he might make me feel. I’m scared of feeling anything again, Mikku. Scared of feeling what I felt for Jase, of going through all of that again. I don’t even know if the time is right, if this is what I should be doing but there’s something – there’s something almost pushing me towards Zac. And I can’t stop it. Even if I wanted to. I can’t stop it.’

      ‘Facing

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