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No Ordinary Man. Suzanne Brockmann
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Автор произведения Suzanne Brockmann
Жанр Зарубежные любовные романы
Издательство HarperCollins
The unpleasant truth was that Jess couldn’t say that for sure. She didn’t know Rob well enough. She knew he had a dark side and a violent past. But just how dark and violent?
According to the article, the police were hesitant to link this death to the Sarasota Serial Killer. All of the previous murders had been committed in the victims’ own bedrooms—this killing was done right out in the open, on the beach, not far from where Jess’s parents owned a house. And the woman didn’t fit the killer’s usual type. She was older, with light brown hair.
Not that it really mattered. Either way, the poor woman was dead.
And Jess couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that the dead woman could well have been her.
Chapter Five
“Robert Carpenter. Nickname Rob. Born September 13, 1962, in Jersey City, New Jersey,” Rob said aloud as he rinsed his razor in the bathroom sink. It always helped to recite exactly who he was and where he had come from every morning. He gazed at himself in the mirror as he finished shaving. “NYU, class of ‘85, computer science. Took time off between sophomore and junior year to travel out west. Got a job at Digital directly out of college, moved to a small software design company before the layoffs—a company that has since conveniently gone out of business. Moved to Sarasota less than a year ago.”
He rinsed his face, splashing cold water on his cheeks as he gazed up again into his ordinary brown eyes. “Outside interests include books, folk music, movies…and being boring as hell.”
Rob leaned closer, trying to see what Jess saw when she looked into his eyes. He couldn’t figure it out.
He knew what he saw in her. She was a vivacious, happy, friendly lady with a cheerful disposition and the ability to smile in the face of disaster. In fact, Rob knew her better than he knew himself these days. She’d caught his eye the day he’d moved to Sarasota, and he’d watched her for months. He’d watched her playing with her daughter in the yard, saw the love they shared. He’d even sometimes followed them on a Saturday when they went to the beach or out shopping. He’d envied them their casual happiness. More recently, as they welcomed him into their lives as a friend as well as a tenant, Jess had talked without reservation about her warm, wonderful parents and her happy childhood. He’d fantasized at great length about being a permanent part of their perfect little world.
He’d fantasized about more than that, too.
Jess. Yeah, he’d fantasized about her also at great length.
But now he was avoiding her.
The past few days had been hell. Each day, he had left for work early in the morning and hadn’t returned each night until long after midnight.
He wanted so badly to see Jess, to talk to her, to touch her. Yes, this project he was working on required some overtime, but not so much that he was forced to stay until midnight. He stayed late because he couldn’t risk running into her. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand the temptation. He could still taste that kiss….
Rob also knew that whatever time he came home from work, he’d do no more than lie awake in his bed for most of the night. And when he did finally fall asleep, he’d dream about being a part of Jess’s life. He’d dream about being normal, about being a husband and father.
But then reality always intervened in the form of the dawn. He would stagger out of bed and into the bathroom. And there, in the bathroom mirror, he would be faced with his bleary-eyed reflection—and the fact that he was not, had never been, and would never be normal.
What right did he have to dream about being Kelsey’s father? His own father had been one hell of a lousy role model. The only thing Rob’s father had taught him was how to beat the crap out of a kid like Kelsey—how to degrade her and crush her self-esteem into oblivion. Oh, yeah, and he had also learned from his dear old dad how to intimidate and hurt without leaving bruises behind. He knew how to be feared and hated.
What goes around comes around.
Rob got dressed, carried his suitcase to his car, and then climbed back up the stairs and onto the deck to knock on Jess’s kitchen door.
He took a deep breath, forcing his speeding heart to slow. Yes, he was going to see her, but only for the briefest moment.
He knocked then waited as he heard her movement in the kitchen, as the door swung open. Jess stared out at him through the screen. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and her feet were bare. Her hair was slightly messed, as if she hadn’t gotten around to brushing it yet this morning. Her eyes were guarded.
“Hi,” Rob said, wishing that she would smile at him, but knowing that she wouldn’t. He looked away from her, down at the deck. “I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I’m going out of town tonight.”
Jess pushed the screen door open, a gesture that invited him inside. She had just finished pushing and prodding Kelsey onto the kindergarten bus, and had been getting ready to leave on her regular Thursday morning grocery run when Rob had knocked on the door. But the groceries could wait. She wanted—no, needed—to talk to him. But he shook his head, still not quite meeting her eyes.
“I’ve got to get to the office—I’m already running late,” he said. “We’ve got a project going and we’re working around the clock.”
Jess stepped out on the deck, joining him in the hot morning sunshine. “Gee, and I thought you were just hiding from me.”
He was tired. She could see it in his eyes, on his face, in the way he was standing. But he smiled at her words. It was a sweet smile that touched his eyes with sadness and made her heart turn over.
“I was doing that, too,” he admitted. His smile faded, leaving only the sadness in his brown eyes. “I’m sorry about…what happened.” He rubbed his forehead as if he had a bad headache. “The bottom line,” he continued, “is that I really had no right to go out with you in the first place. I thought I could handle it—you know, being with you—but I couldn’t, and I’m really sorry, Jess. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you.”
“I don’t understand,” she finally said when he didn’t speak again. “Are you telling me that you’re married?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Engaged?”
Another head shake.
“Seeing someone else?”
“No, Jess, it’s not that at all…” But he didn’t explain.
“Then what?” She willed him to look up, to meet her eyes, and finally he did. “Are you some kind of priest?”
That got a rueful smile. “Not even close.” He paused, looking away again. “I just…I need some space, some distance. I got too close, Jess, and I needed some time to back away. I still need time.”
She crossed her arms, wondering if he could read the unhappiness in her face as clearly as she read his. Why wouldn’t he be more specific? Why did he need space? There was clearly an explosive spark of attraction between them that in her mind was well worth the time and effort it would take to explore it. She liked him and he liked her. Why not see where that might go?
And unless Rob had some dark secret that was keeping him from starting a relationship with her…
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am.”
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