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Unspoken Desire. PENNY JORDAN
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Автор произведения PENNY JORDAN
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Издательство HarperCollins
Rebecca’s heart sank as she listened to Aunt Maud’s admonishment. The very last thing she wanted was to be held up to the children as some kind of disciplinarian and ogre. Neither, however, did she want either of them to think she was going to deliberately court their approval, so she held back the words she had been about to say and instead, pursuing another line of thought, said calmly,
‘You said Frazer was going to be away for three months in all. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay quite as long as that. Two and a half months is the very most I can spare,’ she fibbed, and added, ‘I’ve promised to go back to school two weeks early to help with the preparations for the new term.’
She didn’t look at the twins as she spoke, but wondered a little grimly what they would make of her announcement, telling them as it did that she had no intention of staying on until Frazer returned. She hoped her statement had put at rest their concern that she intended to take Frazer away from them, but instead of reassuring them it seemed to bring an expression of extreme truculence to Helen’s face as she began sulkily, ‘But Frazer…’
‘Uncle Frazer, Helen,’ Great-Aunt Maud interrupted loftily. ‘You’re only a little girl and you must not address an adult by his or her Christian name. It’s not polite.’
‘But Frazer said I could,’ Helen persisted doggedly, only to be frowned down by a very cold stare indeed from her great-aunt.
Rebecca, remembering the effect of that haughty stare, felt sorry for her, but Helen, it seemed, was made of far tougher material than she had been at that age, because she simply ignored the look being turned upon her and, putting down her glass and plate, got up unceremoniously.
‘Peter and I are going out to play.’
Aunt Maud watched them go in grim silence, then turned to Rebecca and said, ‘You see what I mean about their needing discipline, Rebecca? I really am at my wits’ end. Frazer says we must be patient with them and take into account the unfortunate circumstances of their home background. He was never in favour of Rory marrying so young; neither for that matter was I.
‘I agree that it’s very unfortunate that neither of their parents seems to take a proper interest in their off spring, but I feel that Frazer is far too indulgent with them.’
‘And I’m supposed to remedy that?’ Rebecca asked her gently.
Her aunt had the grace to look a little embarrassed.
‘Not remedy it, perhaps,’ she allowed with a small smile, ‘but maybe alleviate it, just a little.’
She got up with a sigh, suddenly looking every one of her seventy-odd years. She patted Rebecca lightly on the shoulder and said surprisingly, ‘You always were a very kind child, Rebecca. Perhaps it’s wrong of me to have taken advantage of that kindness, but I really was at my wits’ end. I’m no longer physically capable of taking charge of two energetic eight-year-olds.’
There was sadness as well as resignation in her voice, and Rebecca felt an upsurge of her earlier compassion, this time not for the twins but for her aunt as well.
‘I’ll do what I can,’ she promised her. ‘But it isn’t going to be easy.’
CHAPTER THREE
IT CERTAINLY wasn’t. Rebecca had been at Aysgarth for just over a week and so far had made absolutely no progress at all in winning the twins’ trust. They avoided her at every opportunity, and for the last two days the only time she had seen them had been at mealtimes and then later in the evening when, at her own insistence, she had helped Norty put them to bed.
Frazer had telephoned once during the week she had been there. On picking up the receiver and hearing his voice, she had been so parlysed with shock that she had been unable to do anything other than pass the receiver over to Mrs Norton. Luckily perhaps in the circumstances, because she had a pretty shrewd idea that neither the housekeeper nor Aunt Maud had seen fit to inform Frazer of the fact that his self-appointed governess to the children had left and that Rebecca had taken her place.
The sound of his voice had disturbed her more than she wanted to admit, at once so familiar and alien.
When Aunt Maud came to take the receiver from the housekeeper to speak to her nephew, Rebecca discovered that it was impossible for her to leave the room. It was as though some invisible and painfully tight thread kept her within hearing distance of his voice.
Dazedly she heard Aunt Maud confirm that she and the twins were well, and although her brain registered the fact that no mention was made either of the governess’s leaving or of her own arrival she was feeling far too shocked to insist on Aunt Maud’s informing Frazer at once of her presence at Aysgarth. That she herself was now party to the deception that Maud was perpetrating against her nephew only struck her when Maud finally replaced the receiver.
‘You didn’t tell Frazer about my being here,’ she reminded the older woman wryly.
‘Didn’t I, dear?’ Aunt Maud instantly fell back on her prime means of defence, adopting a vague and slightly puzzled attitude.
‘No, you didn’t,’ Rebecca reaffirmed quietly.
For a moment Aunt Maud looked a little bit guilty, then she said triumphantly, ‘But, my dear, he must know you were here. Mrs Norton told me you’d answered the telephone.’
What could she say? How could she admit that she had been so shocked emotionally by the sound of his voice that her vocal cords had virtually become paralysed?
‘I…I passed the receiver straight over to Mrs Norton,’ she said uncomfortably, ‘so I never actually spoke to Frazer.’
She bit her lip and then, much as it went against the grain to take to task this now elderly but still very awesome old lady for whom she still felt a slight residue of her childhood awe, she knew she had to tell her how uncomfortable she was about the fact that she was here at Aysgarth, living in Frazer’s house without his knowledge, while being fully aware herself of how little he would want her there. And yet she wondered how to say as much in a way that would convince Aunt Maud that Frazer must be told and yet at the same time stop her asking any far too awkward questions about the nature of the supposed quarrel which had led to his reluctance to have her staying in the house.
To her relief and amazement, Aunt Maud took the burden of responsibility off her shoulders by patting her arm gently and saying in a kindly manner, ‘You came here at my insistence, Rebecca, and to help me. If at a later stage Frazer should choose to take anyone to task about that, then, my dear, I’m afraid that my nephew is not the man I’ve always found him to be. In the absence of their parents and Frazer those children are my responsibility, and a responsibility which I take very seriously. But you can see for yourself that I’m far too old to keep an eye on them.’
Rebecca had to admit that this was true. Helen and Peter, while a little afraid of their great-aunt, were adept at manoeuvring themselves out of her presence. They had far, far more freedom than Rebecca remembered having at the same age, even here at Aysgarth.
Mrs Norton had told her on more than one occasion that they were regular little devils, especially, as she put it, ‘Miss Helen’. Helen was the ringleader, the bolder of the two. Her awareness of the vulnerabilities and vanities that went up to make the adult psyche were far too great for a child of her own age, Rebecca considered.
‘Perhaps a good boarding school might be the answer,’ she suggested cautiously now, but Aunt Maud shook her head decisively.
‘Don’t think I haven’t suggested it, my dear, but Frazer won’t hear of it. He believes the children need the security of living at home.’
‘But we all went to boarding school,’ Rebecca protested.
‘Yes, but Frazer contends that you all, especially you and Robert, had a far more secure and emotionally stable home background than the twins.’
Rebecca