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house & want to check into the hotel with Lou & Walt (have become strangely accustomed to the now familiar sound of Lou screaming – but as she is now in a hotel & presumably nothing is catching fire or falling on her head I’m guessing the screaming has stopped). Although it’s only the corner of the ceiling the mess is unbelievably terrible, EVERYTHING is thickly coated in gritty white dust even food in the fridge. Even Ana Frid looks depressed.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      You should never have tried to have them to stay. The house is a bit grim now but it’s a fantastic and beautiful house and you’ll forget the pain like childbirth once you’ve finished it.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      I suppose you’re right. I know it will be finished someday, just don’t anticipate it being in my lifetime. I think Albert sensed I’d HAD IT when he came in this morning because when he saw the living-room ceiling instead of saying ‘I told you so’ followed by ‘obviously entire house now needs to be pulled down & rebuilt from scratch’ he was unusually soothing & even patted my arm & then said it just needed partly cutting out & patching in & it wouldn’t take long or cost much & this time he really would give me a quote before he started. Felt my mood lurch from complete despair to tearful relief & gratitude. Have had to replace Maddie’s school shoes as we’ve lost one. So irritating, they were really nice ones I got in Bordeaux in the summer. Hugh acting innocent.

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Lost school shoe nothing in this house. Unless clothes are stapled to Rob’s body they’re as good as lost. Only November and he’s on his second winter coat.

      

      From: Lou Corrigan

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Thanks so much for having us to visit – we had a blast! The last two days in the hotel were really boring in comparison and the kids are great, we miss them already. I’ve mailed a little black shoe I found in my bag – I’ve no idea how it got in there – sorry! Speak soon x L

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Was reading ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ & Stephen Covey (bald yet effective author) explaining evil of debt & how none of his 57 children have ever borrowed money – always saved to buy stuff, go on trips, etc, anyway got me thinking about how we are going to pay for our trip. Realise 1) there is no way our overdraft can take the strain of 5 transatlantic flights and 2) am not one of Stephen Covey’s children, so am investigating possibility of obtaining new credit card (Sainsbury’s) in order to finance trip. Will revert when decision re trip is made (by Sainsbury’s, not me).

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Delighted that Stephen Covey has at last said something that has actually proved useful though I thought you stopped reading that piece of rubbish after you dropped it in the bath. Needless to say Michael has changed his mind about his car and has decided he needs a giant SUV due to imminent arrival of the snow. Said to him, if only we’d known back in September that it was going to snow this winter we could have saved the bother and expense of changing cars. Was quite pleased with this piece of withering sarcasm, but he declined to answer.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Stephen Covey wrong about evil of credit card & purveyors of credit like Sainsbury’s. Sainsbury’s similar to ‘Relate’ as they will be reuniting a separated family this Christmas. Have provisionally booked flights arriving 17th leaving 29th. Dan will come later. Let me know if those dates don’t suit. Actually don’t bother as I don’t think I can change them.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Excellent. We are very excited, though Rob and Ollie having some trouble with the concept that your arrival is not going to be today, or at worst tomorrow. Feel warmly affectionate towards Sainsbury’s and hate people who don’t have credit cards or, worse still, those people who have them and use them wisely.

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Just back from parent night. I thought my heart could not sink any further, but was proved wrong by the appearance of school principal to join our meeting. Not, fortunately, the giant arse (head of whole school) but Mrs Doughty, v sensible if slightly scary woman (head of the lower school). The main concern is Rob’s attention span (or rather complete absence thereof). They were very nice about him, Mrs Doughty spoke v affectionately of him, as indeed she should, he being a particularly endearing child. She said he is very complex – well, yar, had noticed that myself as it happens. Anyway the upshot is they want me to take him to an educational psychologist to see if they need to ‘modify the school programme for him’. Came out of there feeling absolutely crushed. Struggled as usual to fill the allotted 15 mins re Josie as she, as ever, gives no cause for concern. Even more difficult with Ollie’s teacher on account of the fact that greatest challenge he faces at school is not pooing himself (so far 100% success rate).

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Makes you long for the days when your biggest worry was whether your boob tube would stay up at the Bourne Club disco. Try not to worry too much, he’s such a lovely boy & clearly bright. (By the way, hats off to Ollie.)

      

      From: Nell Fenton

      To: Charlotte Bailey

      

      Have been working v hard on turning the children into proper over-scheduled little Canadians. Josie and Rob do skating on Saturday mornings now. All Canadian children must know how to skate. It’s the law (probably), anyhow don’t want mine left out and they’ve been enjoying it even though it’s a bit of a shag dragging ourselves out every Saturday morning and lugging all the skates and helmets etc along.

      

      From: Charlotte Bailey

      To: Nell Fenton

      

      Sounds irritatingly wholesome to me.

      

      Went shopping for Hugh’s birthday yesterday, if only all present shopping this straightforward. Basically everything I bought if it was not a train was something to do with a train. Lots of wooden track from Early Worthy Centre, a couple of trains from there & then some Brio stuff to go with it. Brio invented by marketing genius who makes turntables, tunnels, etc, etc, unavailable elsewhere so obliged to buy the Brio version – genius lies in the pricing, chief executive at Brio factory plucks ludicrously high figure out of thin air, marketing director doubles it & then distributor’s wife adds a nought. Net result being Brio engine shed costs about the same as the garden shed Albert is trying to persuade me I need. (Didn’t buy it, just marvelled at the price.) Anyway Hugh now kitted out with basic train track a bridge & Brio Thomas the Tank Engine train & tunnel. V excited about giving it to him.

       DECEMBER

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