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a witness to what had been done to you. They said, ‘You’re his girlfriend.’ I said ‘No I’m not, I’ve only known him a few weeks and we’ve never had sex. That’s not girlfriend to me.’ I didn’t say what he had told me: there was a thing in his family where the men’s foreskins are too tight. His dad had it and his uncle; they got circumcised; it’s fine. But he hadn’t been circumcised. So every time he got a stiffy, he also got excruciating pain. So that had an effect on how he felt about women he fancied. So I became the reason for him getting severe sex-related dick-agony, and that’s why he did what he did. But I was young and in court and didn’t feel able to tell everyone in their wigs about his dick issues. I was sorry for him! Plus I thought my flatmate’s broken rib and the busted-down door etc., etc., would tell the story without me having to go into details. More fool me. The lesson being, when you’re up against the men, whatever kind of woman you are, use everything you’ve got.

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