The World of Multicellular - Oleg Seriy

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right, – he replied, – let’s go.

      So we proceeded on our way.

      We saw an art gallery in front of us. There were no pictures there. To my left and to my right, above and below – the walls, the ceiling and even the floor were covered with frames screwed upon them. There were a great number of various frames – from the plainest to the most exquisite but I didn’t care much. What I really did care was the fact that inside the frames there were sheets of white paper instead of pictures.

      What is it? – I asked.

      It’s an art gallery, – Flier told me.

      But there are no pictures there! – I exclaimedin puzzle.

      Why do you think so?! Look around! There are plenty of pictures there!

      But I can’t see any pictures, just blank sheets of white paper. In the frames.

      Firstly, these are not blank sheets of paper, they are clean. Unlike that paper you gave me last time. And secondly, are there any other art galleries except like this one?!

      And we proceeded with walking. And the further we went, the more I had the impression that in fact we were going only nearer. And then I suddenly thought that I was wrong. And then that I had the right impression again. In the end I decided to aska question.

      How was this world created?

      Don’t you know? – asked Flier. – Well, you are really dull. Our world was created by smiles. There were the Three First Smiles who originated it.

      And how did they appear? – I asked.

      What does it matter? – frowned Flier and suddenly vanished with a great bang leaving me absolutely puzzled.

      He rolled himself up into a tube despite the fact that he was very plump. And then the roll he made became very thin and soared in the sky. «Probably that’s his magic cloak?» – I thought. And then I fell under the impression that Flier wasn’t thinking of anything. Anything at all… Like our politicians… in the world I came from. But maybe at the moment I was not in this new world but in my own? Anyway, I existed – it was clear. And maybe I was just a loony and Flier wasn’t a Flier at all, he was just a keeper who thought that I was Napoleon? Well, anyway. Let’s drop it. The point is that I felt good. And it was the most important thing. But let’s assume that at the moment I was indeed in this world, in the world created by the Three First Smiles. And if I believe it’s True, then Truth will believe in me. And I was right.

      In front of me I saw women breasts. There were not two of them, as I was used to, but much more. A naked woman body was standing in front of me and there were no black squares in the area of breasts and pubis like they show on TV; a horizontal row of breasts occupied all the space. They had beautiful shape and were at the right height. It was wonderful. I walked around the statue and then I realized that it was not just a woman, it was a barrel of the «Field of Dreams» game. Moreover, that day it was not just a barrel, it was a small milk plant. But I wasn’t thirsty, I was hungry and I used this plant as a barrel. I grasped one of the nipples with my right stronger hand, stroked it and then pulled it horizontally. The barrel began to spin… The whole body, however, remained immobile but the girl smiled prettily. Her smile gave that odd sensation you feel when you look at Mona Lisa on the famous picture or Einstein who pulled out his tongue on his photo in orderto show the others his attitude to himself… I was ready to shout «Bonus!» when the bonus appeared by itself. It came out of the dark room that had never been opened.

      A-a-a-a-a-a! There you are! Our new Hero! —exclaimed a man in a velvet cloak. On his chest where the heart would have been a fylfot-like cross was painted. He was approaching me very quickly. Sometimes it even seemed to me that he was flying… Like when gravity-free. Then he vanished and appeared again. I wanted to call Shaitan as he always helped me out of trouble but he didn’t happen to be there at the moment. I had to act on my own.

      I am Mr. X. And what is your name?

      I haven’t made up my mind yet.

      Ok then. We’ll call you Hero. Well, Hero, have you completed your mission?

      What mission?

      Have you killed the dragon?

      No.

      Have you conquered the kingdom?

      No.

      Well, have you killed the spies which had penetrated on the territory of our Empire?

      No.

      Then you are not a Hero.

      Not a Hero?

      Of course not. A Hero is somebody who kills others for the sake of Empire. Have you killed anybody?

      Not yet.

      I’m pleased you say «not yet». Does that mean that you will soon realize the necessity to kill?

      I have to kill someone?

      Yes, certainly. You’ll do it tomorrow.

      Tomorrow?

      Well, not today anyway. Or would you rather kill today?

      No, not today, thanks.

      Ok then, tomorrow will do. Maybach, come here!

      I’m here, sir, – replied Cylinder wearing a cap.

      Write him a merit certificate. Just like this: «Hero». Put it in big beautiful letters. And then we’ll organize a real show with light chasers, special effects and even with parade and fireworks. It will be a real feast or a costume party; I haven’t made up my mind yet.

      But I haven’t killed anyone yet.

      But you will do it tomorrow, won’t you? – he stared at me and put his head very closely to what I had for head. – You’ll do it for sure.

      The merit certificate is ready, sir, – said Cylinder. A black hole opened in his stomach and a metal pallet appeared from it bearing the word «HERO» in big beautiful letters.

      Music, Maestro! – exclaimed Mr. X.

      Small metal pea-size balls appeared out of nowhere; they began to swell and turned into yellow roly-polys with metal legs like spiders’. Each roly-poly had more than eight legs and there were black marker smiles painted on their faces which were saying: «We’re alright». And these roly-polys began to dance. Music resounded from under their legs. It was an opera with jazz tunes; I heard clarinet, bassoon, violin and saxophone – my favourite musical instruments. Then roly-polys rounded me. They made a tight circle and I had no way to escape any more. Then several roly-polys ran up to me. They gave me a lift with their heads and I began to jump on them like on a trampoline. They were made of rubber! But sure enough, they had no brains. Everyone around me shouted «Hero, Hero!» But I didn’t feel a hero. And thenI fell and hurt my head. Somebody ran up to me, hoisted my body ona wheeled hospital bed and drove me off. Through the mist and the dark I discerned the words: «You forgot your merit certificate, Hero!» Then there came a loud metal clank. It was apparently Cylinder who got a clip on the back of his head from Mr. X. It was the last thing I had in mind that day.

      A great noise woke me up. I felt very awkward. I was still lying on the hospital bed and everyone seemed to have forgotten about me. At the moment everything was according to their plans but not mine. It definitely wouldn’t have happened if I had

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