Red as a Rose is She: A Novel - Broughton Rhoda

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ugly and awkward, and don't understand things quick – "

      "I don't dis-like you," interrupts Esther, with magnanimity, quite affected by her lover's description of his own undesirability. "Why should I? There is nothing in you to dislike; you are very good-natured, I'm sure," damning with faint praise, in the laudable effort not to be unqualifiedly uncomplimentary.

      "I know what an unequal exchange it is that I am offering," says Brandon, too humble to resent, and yet with a dim sense of mortification at the quantity and quality of praise bestowed upon him. "I know of how much more value you are than I!"

      She does not contradict him; her own heart echoes his words. "I am of more value than he; I shall find it out practically some day."

      "That was why I was in such a hurry to speak," he says eagerly. "I felt sure that if I did not, you would be snapped up directly by some one else."

      She laughs rather grimly. "You might have laid aside your alarms on that head, I think. I don't know who there is about here to snap me up."

      Silence for a few minutes: Esther takes up a penwiper, fashioned into a remote resemblance to a chimney sweep, and studies its anatomy attentively. "Shall I upset the writing-table and make a rush past him? No, the ink would spoil the carpet, and he would only come again to-morrow, and hunt me into the other corner. Poor fellow! I hope he is not going to cry, or go down on his knees!"

      Whether mindful or not of the fate of Gibbon the historian, who, having thrown himself on his knees before his lady-love, was unable, through extreme fat, to get up again, Brandon does not indulge in either of the demonstrations that Esther apprehended. He stands quiet, cramming half a yard of yellow beard into his mouth, and says presently:

      "Well, I suppose I must not worry you any more; it is not good manners, is it? A man ought to be satisfied with one No; I have given you the trouble of saying three."

      "It's very disagreeable, I'm sure," says Esther, wrinkling up her forehead in an embarrassed fashion, "and I hate saying No to any one: I don't mean in this way, because nobody ever asked me before, but about anything; but what can I do?"

      "Try me!" he says very eagerly, stretching out his hand across the narrow table (all but upsetting the standish en route). "I don't want to threaten you, saying that I should go to the dogs if you threw me over, for I should not; that always seemed to me a cowardly sort of thing to do; and, besides, I should have my mother left to live for if the worst came to the worst; but you must see that it is everything in the world to a fellow to have one great hope in it to keep him straight."

      Soft music in the distance; some one whistling "I paddle my own canoe" somewhere about the house; Esther, in an agony between the fear of subversing the table, and the hundredfold worse fear of being discovered by Jack in an unequivocally sentimental position, of which she would never hear the last. "Very well, very well, I'll – I'll think about it; could you be so very kind as to loose my hand?"

      He complies reluctantly, and she, that there may be no further discussion about it, hides it discreetly away in her jacket pocket. "I paddle my own canoe" dies away in the distance; apparently it was on its way to dress for dinner. Esther draws a sigh of relief. "I thought that some one was coming."

      "And if they had?"

      "Why, I did not relish the idea of being found driven into a corner, like a child at a dame's school, and you, like the dame, standing over me," answers she, abandoning the struggle with the corners of her mouth, and bubbling over with the facile laughter of seventeen. Utterly unable to join in her merriment, he stands leaning in awkward misery against the wall; all other griefs are at least respectable; love-sorrows, alone, are only ludicrous.

      "It really is so silly," says Esther, presently, compassionate but impatient. "Do try and get the better of it!"

      "Easier said than done," he answers ruefully. "I might as well advise you to get the better of your affection for Jack."

      "I don't see the parallel," rejoined she, coldly, feeling as if there was sacrilege in the comparison. "My love for Jack is a natural instinct, built too upon the foundation of lifelong obligations, endless benefits, countless kindnesses. What kindness have I ever shown you? I sewed a button on your glove once, and once I pinned a rose on your coat."

      "I have the rose still."

      She says "Pshaw!" pettishly, and turns away her head.

      "Perhaps you are afraid of marrying on small means?" suggests Brandon, diffidently, after a while.

      The gentle clatter and click of dishes carried into the dining-room enters faintly through the shut door. Esther's heart sinks within her. Is he going to begin all over again? – round and round, like a thunderstorm among hills?

      "I am afraid of marrying on any means," she says, comprehensively. "I particularly dislike the idea; marriage seems to me the end of everything, and I am at the beginning."

      "But I don't want you to marry me now," cries Robert, stammering.

      "Don't you? You told me just now that you did."

      "For pity's sake, Esther, don't laugh! it may be play to you, but it is death to me."

      "I'm not laughing."

      "Perhaps some day you will feel what I am feeling now."

      "Perhaps" (doubtfully).

      "And you will find then that it is no laughing matter."

      "Perhaps" (still more doubtfully).

      The clamour of a fresh cohort of plates shaking noisily upon a tray warns Brandon that his time is short.

      "Esther!" with a sort of despair in his voice, clashing the ridiculous with the pathetic – they are always twin sisters – "I could live upon such a little hope."

      "What would you have me say?" she cries, standing with fluttering colour, tapping feet, and irritated eyes. "I have told you the plain truth, and it does not please you; must I dress up some pretty falsehood, and tell you that I fell in love with you at first sight, or that after all I find that you are the only man in the world that can make me really happy?"

      "Say nothing of the kind!" he answers, wincing under her irony. "I have not much to recommend me, we all know that, and I start with the disadvantage of your thinking me rather a bore than otherwise; but other men have overcome even greater obstacles; why should not I? Give me at least a trial!"

      She is silent.

      "Say that you will try to like me; there need be no untruth in that."

      "But if I fail!" says Esther, wavering – partly in sheer weariness of the contest, partly in womanly pity for sufferings which owe their rise to the excess of her own charms.

      "If you fail you will not have to tell me so; I shall find it out for myself, and – and I shall bear it, I suppose." He ends with a heavy sigh at that too probable possibility.

      "And you will console yourself by telling all your friends what a flirt I am, and how ill I treated you." Apparently he does not think this suggestion worthy of refutation; at least he does not refute it. "Or, if you don't, your mother will."

      "Not she" (indignantly).

      "Or, if she does not, your sisters will."

      "Not they" (less indignantly).

      "And if – if – after a long while – a very long while – I succeed in liking you a little – mind, I don't say that I shall; on the contrary, I think it far more probable that I shall not – but if I do, you won't expect me to marry you?"

      He smiles, despite himself. "I can hardly promise that."

      "I mean not for many years, till Jack is married, and I am quite, quite old – five-and-twenty or so?"

      "It shall be as you wish."

      "And if, as is most likely, I continue not to care about you, and am obliged to tell you so, you will not think the worse of me."

      "No."

      "You are certain?"

      "Certain. Whatever you do, I shall love you to-day, and to-morrow,

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