LITMIR.BIZ

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light summer clothes, and with the mesh-bags like ours, walked towards a copse of green trees, and they had even a ball among them. Where else could they go if not to a beach?!.

      We climbed down two steep embankments and went along the same path in the field as the previous guys who were gone out of sight long ago. Then we walked thru the Aspen grove along a lonely railway track with soft soil instead of crushed stone ballast between its wooden ties until we reached a highway that crossed the track beneath two raised barriers. We passed over the highway and followed a wide, at times boggy, path among the tall growth of bright green grass. The chest straightened out with cautiously expectant exaltation, “Aha, Kandeebynno! You won’t flee now!”

      Groups of people were walking the same path in both directions, but those going there more numerous than back-comers. The path led to a wide canal of dark water between the shore and the opposite dam of the fish lakes and continued along the canal. We followed it on and on, among green trees, under white cumuli in the azure-blue summer sky. The straight rows of fruit-trees in a neglected no man’s orchard went up over the smooth slant to the right of the path. Then the canal on the left widened into a lake with a white sand beach. The expanse of sand was bound by the grass between the tall Currant bushes in the forlorn garden.

      We chose a free streak of grass for our bed cover, hastily undressed, and ran over the unbearably heated sand to the water flying from each direction into any other, splashed up and sent over in strangling sprays to faces of dozens of folks eagerly screaming, yelling, and laughing in the water which seethed from their merry frolics.

      Summer!. Ah, Summer!.

      As it turned out later, Uncle Tolik didn’t even know of that vanishing road along the embankment base, because when his motorbike at a roaring speed shot from under the bridge in Peace Avenue, he in two seconds flat was on the Romny highway, while going on foot you reached it after some generous hundred meters of stomping…

      In the list of movies for July, there stood “The Sons of Big Bear”, so Skully and I agreed not to miss it because Goiko Mitich starred in the film as one of her sons. That Yugoslavian actor was mostly engaged as a hero red-skin in this or that of GDR Westerns and, as long as he was in, you could safely expect it'd be a decent movie. Sure enough, the list did not report all those details or anything at all except for the movie's title and the date of show. However, the films arrived to the Plant Club no sooner than a couple of months after their run for a week at the Peace Movie Theater and one more week at the Vorontsov Movie Theater on Square of the Konotop Divisions that’s why, with the little help of our friends, we could always make an informed decision. And we weren't especially keen on watching movies at the mentioned theaters not because of trust in the unmistakable flair of our friends, no, their leads well sucked at times, but for the much simpler motivation – a ticket at the Peace Movie Theater was 50 kopecks, watching the same film a week later at the Vorontsov set you back for five-and-thirty, whereas, after practicing your patience for a month plus, you enjoyed it at Club paying reasonable 20 kopecks…

      On that Sunday the 3 of us—Kuba, Skully, and I—went to the Kandeebynno by bikes. We swam and dived, in turn, off the self-made launch-pad when 2 of us, chest-deep in the water, clasped our hands for the third to climb upon and take a dive from. And, of course, we played “spots”, though you couldn’t catch up Kuba underwater.

      Then he and Skully got lost somewhere in the bathing crowd. In vain looked I for the friends midst the splashes and squeals, they were nowhere around. Just in case, I even swam to the opposite shore which was the dam of the fish lakes. A couple of guys were fishing there, with their eye alert for an opportunity to angle in the mirror carp paradise over the dam. And I swam back so as not to scare off their fish, which was striking even in the lake for swimmers. Then I once again scanned the crowd in the water, to no avail, and decided it was enough.

      Chilled thru and thru, I stepped out onto the scorching sand of the beach when the lost friends came running from among the bushes of Currant with the hair on their heads almost dry already, “W-where the h-hell were you?”

      “We’re getting in again. Let’s go!”

      “You w-wackos?! I’m-m just c-coming out!”

      “So what? Let’s go!”

      “Ah, damn! Off we’ll d-drive the c-city boys!.”

      And whipping up foamy splashes with the three pairs of racing feet, we rushed together to deeper places to dive, and yell, and hoo-ha. Each summer was the summer then…

      Kuba refused to join our going to the movie, he'd already seen that western, and Skully also changed his mind. That fact didn’t stop me, and I decided to take twenty kopecks from Mother and watch it all the same. At home, Grandma Katya told me, that my parents left two hours ago together with the twins and she didn’t know where they went. So what? There remained three more hours before the next show, enough time for them to come back…

      At the end of the third hour, I was squashed by an overwhelming anxiety: where could they be? So I asked it once again, yet of Aunt Lyouda already. With complete indifference and even somewhat grouchy, she replied, “I wouldn’t even have seen you.” She always became like that when Uncle Tolik was gone fishing.

      Two more hours passed, the show was missed hopelessly but, flooded by the feeling of an unavoidable and already accomplished catastrophe, I didn’t care for any cinema at all. The tide of despair dragged in some sketchy pictures of a truck jumping over to the sidewalk, vague wailing of ambulance sirens, and only one thing was clear – I no longer had any parents nor any sister-'n'-brother.

      The darkness thickened. Uncle Tolik pulled up in the street on his return from fishing and rolled his “Jawa” motorbike across the yard to the shed section. He went to khutta and I, freaked out and crushed by my grief and loneliness, was sitting on the grass next to sleepy Zhoolka…

      It was already quite late when the iron handle-hook in the wicket clinked. Sasha and Natasha ran into the yard followed by Mother’s cheerful voice from the street. I rushed to meet them torn apart between joy and resentment, “So, where were you lost?”

      “Visiting Uncle Vadya,” said Mother. “And what’s up with you?”

      I burst into tears mixed with muddled mumbling about bear’s sons and twenty kopecks because I couldn’t explain that for half of that day I was mourning the loss of them all, fighting back the prospect of life without the family.

      “You could ask the money from Aunt Lyouda.”

      “So? I did ask and she said she wouldn’t like to see me too.”

      “What? Come on into the khutta!”

      And at home, she squabbled with her sister, and Aunt Lyouda retorted it was all bullshit and she’d only said she wouldn’t see me too if I hadn’t come. But I obstinately repeated my bullshit. Mother and Aunt Lyouda screamed at each other louder and louder. Grandma Katya tried to calm them down, “Stop it! What a shame, all the neighbors would hear, and the people in the street too.”

      Natasha, Sasha, Irochka, and Valerik, their eyes rounded by fright, crowded in the doorway between the kitchen and the room where Father and Uncle Tolik were sitting with their silent sullen stares stuck to the TV box…

      That’s how I committed the second meanness in my life – slandered innocent Aunt by my false accusations. And though her response to my questioning I got exactly the way as related to Mother, yet after the Aunt’s interpretation, I could agree that, yes, so was her answer, however, I never admitted my base calumny.

      That lying without words filled me with compunction because the quarrel in the khutta was my fault. I felt guilty before both Aunt Lyouda and her kids, and before Mother, who I belied, and before everyone because I was such a sissy dishrag, “Woe is me! I’m left alone in the whole world!” My contrition was never voiced though because we were not bred up to make apologies. True, at times they could be heard in movies, but for real life, when inadvertently you had someone pushed, run into or stuff, “Excuse me for not trying harder!” was enough.

      All that annoyance about nothing triggered off a slow, inconspicuous, process of my alienation and transformation into a “cut off slice”

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