Amusing Prose Chap Books - Various

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V.

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      The cobbler's entertainment in the king's cellar.

      The cobbler had not been long in the king's cellar, before the king came to him in the same habit that he had on when the cobbler mended his shoe; whereupon the cobbler knew him immediately and ran and kissed him, saying, "Honest Harry, I have made an holiday on purpose to see you, but I had much ado to get leave of my wife Joan, who was loath to lose so much time from my work; but I was resolved to see you and therefore I made myself as fine as I could; but I'll tell thee, Harry, when I came to court I was in a peck of troubles how to find you out; but at last I met with a man who told me he knew you very well and that he would bring me to you, but instead of doing so he brought me before the king, which almost frightened me out of my seven senses; but faith, I'm resolved to be merry with you now, since I have met you at last."

      "Aye, that we shall," replied the king; "we shall be as merry as princes."

      Now after the cobbler had drunk about four or five good healths, he began to be merry and fell a-singing his old songs and catches, which pleased the king very much and made him laugh heartily.

      When on a sudden several of the nobles came into the cellar, extraordinary rich in apparel, and all stood uncovered before Harry Tudor, which put the cobbler into great amazement at first, but presently recovering himself, he looked more wistfully upon Harry Tudor, and soon knowing him to be the king, whom he saw in his presence chamber, though in another habit, he immediately fell upon his knees saying—

      "May it please your grace, may it please your highness, I am a poor honest cobbler and mean no harm."

      "No, no," said the king, "nor shall receive any here, I assure you."

      He commanded him therefore to rise and be merry as he was before, and, though he knew him to be the king, yet he should use the same freedom with him as he did before, when he mended the heel of his shoe.

      This kind speech of the king's and three or four glasses of wine made the cobbler be in as good humour as before, telling the king several of his old stories and singing some of his best songs, very much to the satisfaction of the king and all his nobles.

      CELLAR.

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      Come let us drink the other pot,

       Our sorrows to confound;

       We'll laugh and sing before the king,

       So let his health go round.

       For I am as bold as bold can be

       No cobbler e'er was ruder;

       Then here, good fellow, here's to thee,

       (Remembering Harry Tudor.)

      When I'm at work within my stall,

       Upon him I will think;

       His kindness I to mind will call,

       Whene'er I eat or drink.

       His kindness was to me so great,

       The like was never known,

       His kindness I shall still repeat,

       And so shall my wife Joan.

      I'll laugh when I sit in my stall,

       And merrily will sing;

       That I with my poor last and awl,

       Am fellow with the king.

       But it is more I must confess,

       Than I at first did know;

       But Harry Tudor, ne'ertheless,

       Resolves it shall be so.

      And now farewell unto Whitehall,

       I homeward must retire;

       To sing and whistle in my stall,

       My Joan will me desire.

       I do but think how she shall laugh,

       When she hears of this thing,

       That he that drank her nut-brown ale,

       Was England's Royal King.

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      How the cobbler became a courtier.

      Now the king considering the pleasant humour of the cobbler, how innocently merry he was and free from any design; that he was a person that laboured very hard, and took a great deal of pains for a small livelihood, was pleased, out of his princely grace and favour, to allow him a liberal annuity of forty merks a year, for the better support of his jolly humour and the maintenance of his wife Joan, and that he should be admitted one of his courtiers, and that he might have the freedom of his cellar whenever he pleased.

      Which being so much beyond expectation, did highly exalt the cobbler's humour, much to the satisfaction of the king.

      So after a great many legs and scrapes, he returned home to his wife Joan, with the joyful news of his reception at court, which so well pleased her that she did not think much at the great pains she took in decking him for the journey.

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      OF THE

      WISE MEN OF GOTHAM.

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      There were two men of Gotham, and one of them was going to Nottingham market to buy sheep, and both met together on Nottingham bridge. "Well met," said one to the other; "whither are you going?" said he that came from Nottingham. "Marry," said he that was going thither, "I am going to the market to buy sheep." "Buy sheep!" said the other, "which way will you bring them home?" "Marry," said the other, "I will bring them over this bridge." "By Robin Hood," said he that came from Nottingham, "but thou shalt not." "By my maid Margery," said the other, "but I will." "You shall not," said the one. "I will," said the other. Then they beat their staves one against the other and then against the ground, as if a hundred sheep had been betwixt them. "Hold there," said the one. "Beware of my sheep leaping over the bridge," said the other. "I care not," said the one. "They shall all come this way," said the other. "But they shall not," said the one. "Then," said the other, "if thou makest much ado, I will put my finger in thy mouth." "A groat thou wilt," said the other. And as they were in contention, another wise man that belonged to Gotham, came from the market with a sack of meal on his horse, and seeing his neighbours at strife about sheep and none betwixt them, said he, "Ah! fools, will you never learn wit? Then help me," continued he, "to lay this sack upon my shoulder." They did so and he went to the side of the bridge and shook out the meal into the river, saying, "How much meal is there in my sack, neighbour?" "Marry," said one, "there is none." "Indeed," replied this wise man, "even so much wit is there in your two heads, to strive for what you have not." Now which was the wisest of these three I leave thee to judge.

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